:: 2008 11 May :: 10.19 pm

I miss you more than words can say.

"The ones we love never leave us"

Standing at your grave wishing you were still here is almost unbearable.
I love you.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 11 May :: 10.19 pm

The key to moving on and my happiness is new bed sheets.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 8 May :: 1.57 pm

I can't let go.

I'm constantly full of emotion.
I'm so ready to move forward in life and just let go of everything, and I don't understand what's holding me back.
Fear I guess.
I don't want to go through everything again.
But at the same time I just don't want to be here anymore.
I don't know if I can.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 4 May :: 11.57 pm

Wishin' I was by your side...

Friday night was ridiculous.
I went over to Kyles and hung out with Brandon and Tylor.
They huffed glue for like five hours it was awful.
But I had fun just chillin. And then me and Kisa drove to Mcdicks at like 5 in the morning and then went down to the beach to watch the sunrise.
Then we realized that it was cloudy and the sun wasnt going to come up.
I didn't get to sleep until like 6:30 and kept waking up every hour until 9. Called into work obviously and slept until 11.
Then just lazed around until Kisa got her lazy ass ready haha.
We hung out with Brett and Greg and played pool, which I'm terrible at but whatever.
Then we got sleepy so me and Kisa slept in Bretts bed and once we layed down we werent really tired so we sat there and made the wierdest noises. Then Brett joined in and oh man we were laying there for atleast an hour and a half just making fucked up noises.
Finally I took Kisa home around 3 and came home, went to bed. Woke up around 11 and was hella cranky.
All my plans got cancled but later on I went over to Kisa's and we went back to Bretts and Brett, Greg, Kisa and I all went to see Ironman again which was just as good the second time around :)
Good week :)

Save my sanity

:: 2008 2 May :: 12.32 pm

When I'm with you
I'm oh so full of emotion these days.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 27 April :: 10.34 pm

Never let go.

Vancouver sucked ass.
My cousin and her boyfriend fought so much, and they both fight so immature.
Not to mention we didn't even end up doing anything really.
Saturday after I arrived we went to Ikea and Sunday we went to Metrotown. Other than that pretty much just sat around and slept.
And I got no sleep, people were always partying.
It just sucked.
But it's not like being back is much better.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 18 April :: 4.58 pm

Oh p.s.

I meant to blog about Tylor awhile ago but didn't get around to it.
I kinda liked/like him. And he fuckin played me =(

But were okay now.
I could explain it all in detail but whenever I read this i'll remember enough.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 18 April :: 4.58 pm

Leavin fer Vancouver.

Be back in a week.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 17 April :: 12.48 am

INTERPRETIVE DANCES

- Little Jewish Boy
- Romeo & Juliette
- Hunting Season
- Creatures of the Sea
- Birth

Save my sanity

:: 2008 2 April :: 2.08 am

Everybody gets that way;

I've been getting a lot of anxiety attacks lately.
I finally went back to school today and I saw Kevin and then I had one.
Idk I'm so emotionally fucked.
Then I'm all confused because I like Tyler and Grant. But I'm not ready for anything.
Grant added me on facebook and we talked and then he added me on msn and he said he wanted to hang out saturday and that he would call me tuesday. Well it's tuesday, well not anymore technically but he sent me a txt after work around 10:30ish saying he was home and I should call, but I was at the gym then. So I found out around like 11:40 and I figured it was to late to call him but I did anyways and he sounded so cute and sleepy, but he talked to me for quite awhile but I was on my way to Kyles so after fifteen minutes I figured I should get off the phone but yeah.
And then at Kyles, Tyler came over and Kyle made it so fucking akward, he made up this huge song about how me and Tyler are going to have sex and it was really funny but then I had like another anxiety attack. And yeah, I like Tyler but I'm not ready for anything and I really can't sleep with anyone else unless it means something.

Anyways, I saw Sammy today, I'm soooooo glad shes back :)
But I had a pretty good time with Kisa on the weekend and stuff, I just laugh sooooo much when I'm with her. Shes going to be my grad date :)

Anyways I think I might go see Jesse.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 31 March :: 4.26 pm

I dreamed I was missing.

I keep dreaming about Kevin.
The past five nights I've dreamt about him.
It's making me miserable.

I'm getting really worried about my future and school.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 25 March :: 1.36 am

Never seen the sea;;

Tommorow I'm spending the day with mommy. Were going to catch the bus downtown and go to the museum. I'm really excited.
Tommorow night I'm driving out to granny and papas for dinner, I love them so much.

I feel like change.

& you havent once left my mind.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 23 March :: 12.17 am

Lullabies & Little Spies;

Wow, it's been awhile. I just havent had the motivation to update.

Kevin has a new girlfriend now. It sucks.
I'm doing better though.
I'm constantly finding out new things, hes a huge liar and he fucked that Hannah chick when me and him werent really over yet.
Anyways theres plenty I could elaborate on there but it's not worth it.

Skatings over for the season, it ended last Monday. I will miss it :(

Spring break has been okay. I've worked lots and mostly just hung out with Steph, Jada and Tianna and her boyfriend Jesse.
I wanna go camping sometime soon.

I miss Kisa, she sailing but she'll be back tommorow.
And Sammy is in Disney world, she wont be back for another two weeks. I hella miss her.

Ashley is back but I havent seen her. I could care less at this point because shes made no attempt to see me.

Im still really really depressed and I still really miss Kevin. But I'm managing.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 13 March :: 4.43 pm

I'm living in fucking hell.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 10 March :: 4.23 pm

Your everything I want, your everything I need, yet you just dont fucking get it.

Why the fuck was it so easy for you to just get over it?

Save my sanity