Life Is An Ever Changing Road

"She was who she once was, but not as I had known her."

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Life Is An Ever Changing Road

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:: 2012 14 September :: 6.49pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Fun: Walking the Dog

I survived getting sick from my students/colleagues until the end of week three. I'll take it.

I'm getting back in the groove. Things seem more like a clusterfuck, but they seem easier.

I'm taking Old English this semester, for no other reason than it's a degree requirement for a linguistics credit. I'd rather take French. With that being said, apparently two hellish years of French have really beefed up my language skills, and it's going quite easily. Perhaps I'll be one of those people who knows like five (useful) languages eventually.

Thesis. Blech. I don't want to talk about it.

Teaching is going well. I get their first drafts of their first paper by Monday at midnight. We're having fun in class, and they're all really good kids. I expect at least a quarter of them will fail the first draft, but the good thing for them about English is that we offer revisions. Lots and lots of revisions.

Other things are going well, but clouding the periphery--union stuff, graduate literary journal, other groups, non-profit work, academic senate/the eboard for that, too, and now I'm enrolled in a teaching academy through the university (only about 15 people university-wide were selected in total).

PhD applications in a few months.

I guess I should go parse some Old English or grade some papers. What else is there to do while being sick on a Friday night?

:: 2012 26 August :: 5.07am

I really honestly wish I would have been checking out my hair in the mirror or daydreaming or fiddling with the radio for the 1/10th of a second it would have taken to run that idiotic drunken fuck over.

Then I could just smile at this everyday drunk fuck fratboy bullshit and smile to myself. "I win drunk frat boys. I win".

As it is, it makes me want to strangle one of them at random.

------

Jesus, their still drunk. Its been like five days?

:: 2012 21 August :: 11.42pm

a few people are doing "in memory of andy" stickers....

My testament to my friend is buying a fucking camaro...

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 17 August :: 8.48am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Fun: Carry On

School starts again in about a week. I'm able to get in my office on Monday (hopefully). I just had a student email me about the syllabus for class. I don't have it done. Prep week doesn't even start until next week, and I don't even officially get paid for my work until the week after that.

Lots of things going on. I'm the president of the Graduate Student Union this year. I'm on staff of our creative writing publication. I'm teaching, taking classes, writing my thesis, and on the board of a non-profit. I'm also probably doing a innovative teaching academy program, and applying to PhD programs. Of course, all of these things are unpaid, and when it's all said and done, I make less than minimum wage. Oh, the joys of higher education.

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 17 August :: 6.21am

My kid won't nap. And some people might think that, that is no big deal. But you've probably Never met Reagan. She is a major crab without a nap. She is sleep deprived and has been since she was about 4 months old. Her dad is no help with that. He contradicts everything I say or do.. She hasn't napped since Tuesday. And that wasn't a very long nap. Maybe a 20 mile drive. Wednesday, she fought it for 4 hours, and screamed bloody murder for 2.5 hours. I am seriously going insane. She doesn't ever let me do anything. Other than watch cartoons with her. I'm to the point where I'm ready to send her to day care just so I don't have to deal with nap time... But I would feel super Shitty about dumping her off on someone else when she wont go to sleep on her own.

And complaining and being this frustrated with her makes me feel like a Shitty mom and a Shitty person. Which just makes me cry along with her.

6 laughs | smile

:: 2012 11 August :: 4.16pm

Birthers make me angry, apparently.

:: 2012 8 August :: 12.54am

Netflix is going to destroy me for about 1 month.

Well... exactly 1 month anyway.

:: 2012 5 August :: 10.08pm

Its.... nice outside?

When did summer start winding down? Its not supposed to do that for like, a year or two.

:: 2012 2 August :: 12.22am

I think the biggest lesson I've learned with dieting so far is to just give up on making healthy shit taste good. For the most part it either already tastes good (fruits, meats, nuts) or you can make it taste slightly better with way to much effort (vegtables). Inevitable making it taste good usually makes it unhealthy anyway.

Extra processing time just makes it a pain in the ass to be on a diet. At the same time you'll never compete with the bag of pre-packaged chocolate-coated deep-fried butter-balls you really want to eat.

It makes it pretty simple to stay on the wagon when you concede the taste issue and push the convenience issue instead.

I should pen a health cook-book. Call it the lazy diet.

:: 2012 19 July :: 12.31am

Going back to cedar springs for a few days.

boooooooooooooooo

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 14 July :: 5.16pm

Routine makes me happy. If only so it can be broken now and then.

:: 2012 12 July :: 12.26pm

I just wanted to make some coffee.
I'm not sure why but I always end up cleaning after parties. I think its cause the alcohol makes me sleep very light, and I always wake up 3 hours before everybody.

In any case. Christ almighty will I be glad to be back at home, and not in the midst of the barely organized chaos of spent pizza boxs and drunken bachelors.

:: 2012 11 July :: 11.44pm

I suggest thematic oveture of Jurrasic park. The first one, not the crappy ones.
Step one. Have a drink.
Step two. Have a few more.
Step three. Put on some good headphones. Turn everything up.
Step four. Close eyes.
Step five. Open up the way back when folder of music and play something nostalgic and awesome from at least ten years ago.

:: 2012 11 July :: 12.48am

I wish....

I wasn't me
I didn't look like me especially.

Just want to feel pretty and sexy once in my life.

5 laughs | smile

:: 2012 9 July :: 7.05pm

Drinking just isn't near as fun as it used to be.

Dam getting old.

2 laughs | smile

:: 2012 4 July :: 1.51pm

I think I've been having dreams in book form.

In the past, like when I was playing a given video game in some marathon week long stretch I would have dreams in that format. 1st person, 3rd person, etc.

I started re-reading the entire Wheel of Time series so I have some idea of what is happening in it when the final book comes out. It ends up being around 1500 full sized single spaced 12pt font pdf pages.

I've been reading like 4 hours a day. 3 of which are usually right before I go to sleep. In any case - I keep on having dreams that are very very heavy in dialog. They are vivid, and I can even recall what is happening. I can just never really put a visual aspect to it.

:: 2012 4 July :: 1.59am

sometimes i'm just so angry...

4 laughs | smile

:: 2012 1 July :: 11.37pm

On a roll.
See the problem with blenders is they always let you down.
Get a good one and it breaks. Get a bad one, it breaks.

I cant take another hit like that. Our microwave. Then the other one. Then the blenders. Thats right. An s. Now we have another blender. How many?

I want to love again, I'm just not sure.

2 laughs | smile

:: 2012 29 June :: 8.49pm

The thing I really hate about the last week is that now EVERYONE is calling it "obamacare".

Usually when you steal back a word, you pick one that wasn't a turd to begin with.

:: 2012 27 June :: 12.32am

I think the only thing I even remotely miss from Cedar Springs is Sue's kitchen. We don't really have a good substitute up here. Its something about the same waiter and the same old guys in the corner every time you go there. Even months apart. The pocket change coffee and toast was nice too.

I suppose I rather miss the countryside and green things and space as well, but as best I can tell Cedar Springs has lost these things. Last I knew it lost what small town charm it had. Its slightly less dilapidated, but in the cheap plastic veneer kind of way as opposed to any real positive changes.

I suppose real estate is still pretty cheap.

2 laughs | smile

:: 2012 23 June :: 10.42pm

Because I've made it a point to be nice on facebook.
Its so hard not to respond to idiots on facebook. I'll probably start ranting on here for no other reason than I can, and I need too sometimes.

Its almost prime time political season. Its early, but you can sense these things if you pay attention. The political full moon is coming out and god knows what I'll turn into.

I do know that its already affecting other people. This seasons choice of information distribution has already been chosen. Its one liner thought-dumps in the form of words/picture/words. Lolcats for idiots, and that's saying something.

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 19 June :: 11.02pm

ugggh, i hate depression.

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 19 June :: 1.22am

sometimes i don't know the next road to take.

1 laugh | smile

:: 2012 14 June :: 1.28pm

my woohu is more than 10 years old, thanks andy.

4 laughs | smile

:: 2012 19 May :: 11.21pm

I'm cheating on you!

2 laughs | smile

:: 2012 30 April :: 2.39pm

One exam and around 20 hours of paper writing to go.

Alllmost done.
Allllmost there.

*Que a bloke with a British accent*
"Almost where?"
There!
"Whats there?"

....
....
oh fuck.

:: 2012 21 April :: 5.48pm

2nd time away from home
Well, the baby is with Grandma and Grandpa O. She is probably having a blast.. but I'm kinda sad.. and lonely. hahaha. figures.

:: 2012 2 April :: 10.44pm

When I shave my beard I lose like 7 years of age.

Space time travel ftw.

4 laughs | smile

:: 2012 17 March :: 4.36pm

Happy drinking day Mount Pleasant.

Now step it up and finish passing out so I can enjoy my music.

3 laughs | smile

:: 2012 29 February :: 3.13pm

Its been almost 2 month since Darielle has been over. She has barely said anything to Mike. I only saw her long enough to drop money of to her at school (for her mom because she forgot to give it to her before school and her mom was in the hospital having surgery) and tell her I deserve an apology. Mike saw her long enough to pick her up from school and take her home because her mom was at one of the other kids sporting events. She has asked Mike to bring her food at school and he probably would have if I hadn't been home. She told him her trip money was due in March and he told her that her attitude adjustment and better grades were due a long time ago.

I feel guilty because she hates me so that is ruining her relationship with Mike and Reagan. And it breaks my heart that she hasn't even asked about Reagan. It probably makes me seem really petty that I am really upset and hurt that she never says one thing about Reagan on facebook and on the rare occasion she has, she deletes it before too many people see it. Yet she posts tons of things about her nieces and nephews.

I can't help but think she is ashamed of Reagan and hates her or resents her. What the hell am I supposed to say to Reagan when she is older and asks where her sister is? I'm not going to lie to her but I definitely dont want to break her heart.

I want to punch someone in the face.

10 laughs | smile

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