(: *sigh* :)
"miguel" talked to me this morning...first time he's ever called me like that...actually awake you know...i unfortunetly was unable to answer cuz my mom put me to work around the house...i was really hoping "miguel" would call...i feel bad...it's not fair...i feel like even if there was a chance of possibly me & "miguel" hooking up...i won't have a chance...sometimes i feel like he's too good for me now...*sigh*...the thing i'm afraid of is how it would be with "miguel"...we're different now...i dunno...

wait!...wtf am i worrying about?...i have a bf...i love joey...*sigh*...wtf is wrong with me?...i don't understand somethings that are going on in my life...maybe it's the fact that i think that joey & i are different too...i dunno...maybe jorge & everyone else is right...i need to find myself...maybe i just need a break from it all...i'm just waiting impatiently for something good to happen...talk later.

nice night for a LONG ASS walk huh?
lately it seems like i'm in everyone's way of things...my mom has been making me feel like i'm not useful around here & to be honest i'm not...i don't feel like i'm in the right place at school & to be honest i don't know what to do about it...maybe i should start trying to figure out what to do in life...you know if i choose not to go to college...maybe just get an apartment around here...i need a job though...shit...

how is anyone gonna want to marry someone like me?...i'm worthless & i can't pick up after myself or clean up after myself...it's rediculous...i dunno...i wish things made sense & were easier than this...i wish i knew what i was doing...*sigh*...

i went walking with jorge today for bout a good 3 hours...wow that was painful...but really fun & i felt really good to get out...i felt useful today with just walking with him...it almost felt like something big like curing someone of cancer or something...i felt like i helped out a great deal...we smoked & laughed & talked...i'm gonna dye his hair sometime soon i think tomorrow maybe but i dunno yet...i have a feeling i'm gonna be busy :(...whatever...i'm really really REALLY tired though...JORGE->NEXT TIME LET'S JUST WALK A FEW BLOCKS & THEN CALL FOR A RIDE BACK HOME; WE'RE ALMOST THERE...NOT!!!...lol...stupid mesicans...:D...that's me!...guess i'll do some more quizes...talk later.

convo with friend bout miguel
nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
hey you

stalker says:
heool

stalker says:
hello

stalker says:
*

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
what's up?

stalker says:
nothin

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
oh ok

stalker says:
whats up w/ u

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
nothing much

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
i feel like getting out right now

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
like walking or something

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
i dunno

stalker says:
ah

stalker says:
i just got home

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
from where?

stalker says:
el centro

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
oh doing what?

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
i was there earlier a bit

stalker says:
buying groceres

stalker says:
groceries

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
ahh

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
i went school supply shopping with my dad

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
so yeah

stalker says:
oh

stalker says:
so whatcha doin

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
nothing listening to evanescence really really loud right now cuz my mom was getting mad at me for something stupid with my dad so yeah

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
nothing much & writing in my journal & u?

stalker says:
just chattin

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
ahh

nothing's going right & everything's a mess & no one likes to be ALONE says:
coo coo

stalker says:
so what u been up to

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
nothing much...being my depressing self as usual around the house

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
hey...i need your advice on something really stupid

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
ok but before i tell you i must inform you that it is completely stupid & if you agree that it's stupid then you don't have to help me out ok?

stalker says:
alright

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
well...ugh...ok...*first step is admitting becky*...lol

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i think i'm having feelings for "miguel"

stalker says:
alright...

stalker says:
what do u plan to do about it

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
that's the thing

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i have no fking clue

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i can't think

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i've been like this all summer, thinking it'd be just some summer thingy with me & i'd forget about

stalker says:
u gotta do what u wanna do

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i just wish i knew what that was

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i just wish...ugh..i dunno wtf i would wish...

bid my blood to run before i come undone says: :( :'(

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
im stressing over something stupid

stalker says:
r u sure its stupid

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
well...i dunno what do you think?

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i figure it seems stupid cuz it's the same old shit

stalker says:
if this is a joke for u, then its stupid...if this is serious, u gotta choose

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
hmm....

stalker says:
what do u want to do, regardless of what anyone may think

bid my blood to run before i come undone says:
i want it to be the way things used to be

stalker says:
i think it is possible to do so

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
well...just from your opinion...what do you think of this whole thing...joey or "miguel"?

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
just your view

stalker says:
personally, i dont swing that way

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
lol i wasn't asking which one you'd sleep with

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
lmfao

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says: :p

stalker says:
another thing, i dont really know joey

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
yeah

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
hmm...

stalker says:
but i was never able to understand how u and "miguel" could be

stalker says:
u guys seem to have become something normal

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
yeah i know that's probably why i've been so irritable lately

stalker says:
everything seemed messed up now

stalker says:
yea

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says: :(

stalker says:
i know "miguel" wants it how it used to be also

stalker says:
he may deny it at some point, but i know he does

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
*sigh*

stalker says:
actually, hes been miserable since

stalker says:
hes never recovered

stalker says:
i think

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
how has he been during the day?

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
& classes?

stalker says:
he tries to be normal

stalker says:
but its too obvious to me

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
heh

stalker says:
me, greg, and kev know that he wants u

stalker says:
and i always had this feeling u wanted him too

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
lol

stalker says:
but u know what, im not fit to talk of such things at this point

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
what do you mean exactly?

stalker says:
i give and give advice but i never see it work

stalker says:
well not for me

stalker says:
im still here

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
oh

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
i see

stalker says:
actually i have a headache

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
oh i'm sorry

stalker says:
thinking isnt good for me right now

stalker says:
ive had it all day

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
lol yeah i'll stop puttin you up to that then

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
you should take something for it then

stalker says:
i never do

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
oh

stalker says:
have u ever stopped to think how lucky u are in some ways

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
yes actually

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
i've been thinking bout that very recently too in all aspects

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
why?

stalker says:
have u realized that there is no possible way for me to know how u feel or for u to know how i feel

stalker says:
ive never been where u are

stalker says:
its been so long since uve been where i am

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
well...that's actually what i was thinking recently...with you & the other guys & denisse

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
yeah but you may not figure this but i miss being the way all you guys are

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
i honestly miss that feeling where relationships didn't mean shit to me

stalker says:
what i think is that no one knows where im at

stalker says:
i dunno where im at

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
i think someone knows...just not us

stalker says:
yea

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
not ppl you hang out with at least

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
or maybe it's just not that big of a factor

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
i dunno

stalker says:
its like ive been so close yet ive never moved

stalker says:
im in the same place

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
yeah...

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
well i'm always moving

stalker says:
its like, if i ever got the courage to take that step forward, id be there

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
heh...gosh...you know what thinking hurts for me too right now but it's all good

stalker says:
my headache is so bad im just typing usless bs that sounds important

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
hey actually it does seem important for you

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
so go on if you need it out

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
cuz if it's important to you then it is to me

stalker says:
its not

stalker says:
i think i know but i dont

stalker says:
its not that simple

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
hmm...

stalker says:
i gotta go

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
ok well talk to you later then

stalker says:
alright then

stalker says:
bye

these wounds won't seem to heal this pain is just too real there's just too much that time can not erase says:
bye

umm...alrighty then

The Afterlife, V1.0 by silentounce
Name
Favorite Color
Your fate	Fed endless stream of donuts
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

i've come to realize the dumbest thing on earth...
i had the dumbest thought today as i was going to eat somewhere...i think i'm scared to say it...but i guess i'll do it...but i'm using fake names & scenarios so that no one will deffinetly know wtf is up with me...

i was thinking for a few weeks now that "miguel" is a nice person to be around..."miguel" has been a cool guy to hang around with, though we don't hang out much..."miguel" has turned out to be like the perfect person for me except that i don't think "miguel" & i come from the same place if you kinda understand that...i've talked to "miguel" a few times & he's the type of person who i think needs someone to be with him & help him out with things...& i think...silly thing to say right now but...i think i'm falling in love with "miguel"...i mean i didn't think about it really, but i noticed it when i just happened to be excited when i saw him working today...i don't think "miguel" saw me but i deffinetly saw him...here's a few problems though with this...other than the fact that i have a bf, whom i am in love with..."miguel" is a friend..."miguel" has his life planned out for him right now & i feel that if i got into his life there wouldn't be room for me...now more than ever i'm not "miguel's" type...i've been thinking bout this for a long while...& still i find no answer...i'm sorry "miguel"...i dunno what to do anymore...

i just don't know...

HA HA MOTHER FUCKER!!!
my dad just called right now...for the first fucking time he was actually gonna take me to see a new movie today...JEEPERS CREEPERS 2...even though i wanted to go see it so badly there really is no point...i'd rather see it with friends...dude, & all this time i've wanted to see SWAT & a bunch of other new movies...but no...he went to take his gf instead...now he's all alone & has no one to watch them with...i was so eager to say yes...but fuck that shit...aint no way in hell i'm gonna see that movie with him today...waste of my time...maybe my other friends that actually care about me would want to go see it instead of some "dad" who doesn't spend time with his own fucking flesh & blood taking me...whatever...

i'm better off alone...raul..."don't want your hand this time..."...

oh smirnoff, smirnoff, where art thou smirnoff?

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

yep...i drank when i lost danny & my dad...yep total emotion right there...talk later.

well well well...
well i had a fun time in ec today...i bought some flavored water thingies for 50cents each...so i got 5 dollars worth...now they take up space in the fridge...lol...i have fun now with denisse & danny...sometimes they don't get along but all 3 of us are great...

i was thinking bout the old times that i had with him & how i kinda miss it...i noticed i am better at being his friend than his gf...but then again you never know i guess...maybe it was just time for a BIG ASS break...whatever...

i am clueless as to thinking of something to say today...i guess...i have nothing really...just that i'm on my rag & that i've been irritable lately...

i really really want to talk to my bf...not just talk but to TALK...like an actual convo with something slightly important you know?...but i dunno...i've been stressed with him & i think it's just all in my head so i dunno really...

i think i'm gonna bore myself with yet another quiz...hmm...


You are Psalms.


Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


wow...that's kinda funny...i didn't really think that would happen...i thought i would've been something like revalations...but whatever...let's see what other bull i can find...


TRUE BITCH

You have great balance and know when it is a good
time to bitch and when not to. You get the
respect you deserve and you know it! You don't
over-do the bitchyness. Go you!


(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


well isn't that the fucking truth?...ok i think i have time for one more so here it goes...


attention


What is your reason for suicide?(with images)
brought to you by Quizilla


now actually i think otherwise on this...but whatever...

well i better get going...but i hope everyone had a great first week back to school...i kinda did i guess...i'm still trying to get myself to realize i'm a fucking senior...whatever...talk later.

heh heh...

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com.

what a bitch
for some reason it just bugs me the way she is...happy & giddy all the time...& somehow she manages to make me feel like shit...i swear she'll be the death of it...everything will fall because of her...she may not know it but she happens to always make me feel like shit...

i am ready to give up & lose the battle...i hope she'll be happy now...

whoo hoo i'm on my rag!
we had the yard sale today @ denisse's house again...i started to cry because i found out that i wasn't ready to let go to some of that stuff...i was really mad at myself for letting go of the frogs that danny gave me for valentines day...& i knew i didn't want it anymore...but i just felt stupid afterwards...i was really picky bout what was bought...i guess it just wasn't time to let go...it's sooner or later...i wish it never had to happen...

i have been thinking bout amber a lot this week & wish that there was some way to find her this year...i bet she didn't want to have anything to do with me...i always think that she moved because of me...i dunno...i wish i could talk to her again & hang out with her...i miss her being herself almost ditzzy but yeah...my goal is to find her before i graduate...i have a big feeling i am going to disappoint myself that night... :(

i feel alone right now...probably cuz i really am...no one is on msn right now or yahoo...no one is home...what a smart idea huh?...i was gonna go to ec but i didn't feel good since i'm on my rag...well speaking of which i better get going since i feel like throwing up a bit...i'm not gonna but i feel like it...i hope i feel better...talk later.