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:: 2005 14 January :: 4.36 pm


help me

:: 2004 14 December :: 6.08 pm

W00 hey I'm back, YAY!!!! wow, life is boring.


I am not at school today because I am UBER sick. I swear I can't go two minutes without coughing up another lung. And also because my lip is so swollen, and bruised. Fun huh.

Okies heres the story

I went to school yesterday. Sick as hell but determined to go cuz I've missed alot of school. I go and I'm stressed out..I don't really care about anything I just want quiet. I worked on my panda thing all first hour and almost all second hour, so I could have it done by fourth hour. I go to third hour and have to put up with all the bitches in that class. I so hate people like Lauri and Sarah. All they do is talk shit, but whatever right. So I finish my mask, which looks like shit but I really don't care. I'll go to summer school and make that class up if I have to I don't give a shit, theres no point in even trying to bring my grade up in that class. So I finish it. Listen to people bullshit and then I have to put up with Chris.

Chris is this freaky dude, who always looks like he has black eyes but thats just the way his eyes look and he has a really deep voice and he'll come up behind you and say shit like Boo in your ear really loud. Just annoying. He won't leave me alone in that class it drives me crazy.

So I go to wait for my fourth hour class and shit...and poof!! Mrs. Henderson isn't there. I worked my ass off for nothing. I stayed up the previous night till two for nothing. And worked all day...not cool.

So then the whole class has to go sit in Mr. Petersons class for the day. This kid John...annoying little motherfucker who wears the same thing over and over again...who lives in a trailer...with more than twenty cats. Everyone calls him litterbox. So anywayz this kid John has to debate Julio *this is a debate class with all of three people in it.*

So I'm sitting here listening to them debate or whatever sounding like a little kid sniffing my nose every twenty seconds. Then this gorilla guy with hair all over his body gets up to debate the same topic. All over again. Julio gets nervous infront of crowds. And this other kid named John from texas or whatever started laughing while Julio was talking. Julio gets all pissed and whatever and was like what the fuck are you laughing at fool. And shit so then John was like nothing not you shut up. You just don't tell a mexican to shut up, esspecially when they are in MBP like half of that fuckin school is. They'll kick your ass. So needless to say that started something. Julio was like we can take this outside and whatever. Jenna and other people were trying to tell him not to let this kid get to him. That doesn't work. * I am very timid and shy and because of what happened when I was little I can't stand it when guys start yelling. It scares the shit out of me. I hate it.* Mr Peterson then gets into it and goes on, saying that hes only given out 3 referals this year and shit. Then he goes on this speach about life and what it means and anger, and starts quoting Mark Twain and some other famous authors. Then goes into personal stories about how he had anger problems when he was younger. Just not fun. If you know Mr. Peterson he gets very passonate about what he says and sometimes that comes off as aggressiveness ya know. Needless to say SCARY!

So then I get onto the bus and we have to take the long way cuz Margartia is there. So I'm sitting there and I feel like I'm going to puke. Just sitting there then the under wire in my bra starts stabbing me. Not a very pleasant feeling. It was my fav bra too :(

So then I get off the bus and walk home. There are no lights on in the house and I'm just like okay maybe the power went out. All I wanted was medicine, some tissues and a bed. So I walk in and I'm like did power go out. Then all of the sudden they're yelling at me not to worry about it. So I'm fine whatever. I go to the bathroom cuz I gotta take a piss so I come out and I was like I don't suppose you got any tissues. And she was like I'm sorry I didn't I was to preoccupided. So I was like fine whatever. I go to my room and I lay down to go to sleep...but noo she comes in and is like get your shit for tomorrow your going to grandpas.

I started crying. I'll admit it. I'm sick. I want medicine...but didn't have any... I wanted tissues...but didn't have any...Now that I had finally gotten my bed...it was being taken away so I was like fine whatever lets leave then. Cuz I wanted to get over to my gramps so I could sleep.

So we get out to the car and I'm in the passenger seat and what not. My gramps is in the drivers seat and my grams is standing outside my dorr with it open and I was like grandpa could you please stop by the store and get me some medicine. And he was like fine whatever I suppose make me go broke blah blah blah bullshit. So then I started crying and was like just forget it. Then they both started yelling at me. I'm sitting there like can we just leave please can we just go. Then they are both in my face on like each side. So I'm trapped there with them yelling at me. I don't know maybe you had to have been there but I freaked out. I started yelling get the fuck away from me just back off ya know. And I said that and my grams hit me like across my face ya know. And I'm just like please just get away just back please I'm sitting there like please just stop talking to me. And then out of no where she hits me like another fuckin 4 times. So I'm sitting there listening to my gramps tell me I can go to hell. And her telling me to shut up. And I'm just like just back off both of you. I can't handle it when people are that close to my face yelling I freak out. And not to mention that any normal person is going to get defensive. So I'm sitting there and I feel something coming out of my mouth and I'm just like WTF did I go retarted and start drooling or something.. And I bring my hand up to my mouth to see what it was and I go to look at it and my fuckin mouth was bleeding cuz she fuckin busted my lip open.

So I'm sitting there and I'm spitting up blood and I didn't even think. But if someone hit you hard enough to make you bleed wouldn't you try to get them to back off you. So I went to kind push her away, to get her to stop hitting me and to get out of my faceand my fist didn't even touch her my wrist hit her shoulder and she fuckin layed in on me again and hit me like another 5 timse telling me not to touch her. I'm like what the fuck are you proud of yourself now. Your just like your parents. Would you like me to go get a belt for you to. And I pushed her out of the way and I went to go leave I was like let me fuckin go I don't want to be here anymore.

Meanwhile the neighbors lights came on. We've kinda developed a small crowed outside watching. And she fuckin pushes me down into the car and fuckin bruises up the side of my leg where she pushed me. I'm to fuckin afraid to hit her fuckin back...Ha and she says I have no respect for her. Whatever so I fuckin get into the car and I'm sittin there and I told her that I would be happy if I never had to see her face again. And that I can't wait for these last two years to be over. And my gramps is yelling at me telling me that I'm a bitch and that I can go to hell and I'm going to regret what I'm saying and all this shit right. I finally told her that shes fuckin lucky that I'm not going to tell CPS or someone who has fuckin power over anything like that cuz of Beka and Lj. Cuz if I did they would be taken away too. Thats just not good. I don't want that. She doesn't really do anything to them. She slams the fuckin door in my face. I scream fuck you. My grandfather slaps my fuckin arm. Then were driving away. I'm sitting there crying, not because I hurt but because I'm so mad, and I'm fusterated, and shocked that she would do something like that ya know. I'm crying so hard that I can't breath right. Ya know like when you take a bunch of little breaths and its like each time you can't get enough air and you can't breath out all the way. I don't know similar to hyperventalating, if thats not what it is. Then my gramps pulls up to the store makes me go into the store with him while im still bleeding and while I'm still crying and breathing liek that. People are looking at me. The casheer asked me if I was okay, like whispered it while he wasn't looking. I still fuckin had hand prints on my face. So then we leave and I get there and I don't go inside. And hour later I'm still crying still breathing like that and my lip is still bleeding. I call Taylor and talk to her.

While I was talking to taylor this old man came out of his house and glared at me so I told her I had to go. I went into the house and went to take my medicine. Looked in the mirror. My eyes are a really pretty green when I cry. I take some IBprophen so the swelling in my lip would go down and so it wouldnt hurt and I go to bed...still crying.

I wake up this mornign its not really swollen anymore. YOu have to like really look at me to notice. But its as sore as a mother fucker. My grams is acting like nothing happened. And is now giving in to anything I say...My head is pounding. And I'm still coughing up my lungs....oh and they turned the power back on...a 96 dollar bill and they shut it off because it was 2 days late...funny huh... You wouldn't believe it took me two hours to write this would you...Its because of all the coughing...it blows...

Life blows. I can't wait till I'm eightteen

Okies well thats whats new...

help me

:: 2004 29 August :: 1.42 pm

Wow. I like never use this journal anymore...hmm...oh well who cares right...its not like anyone reads this shit anyway.

1 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 27 July :: 3.59 pm


3 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 27 July :: 1.45 am
:: Mood: sad

Bye Bye Ashley, I will miss you...a lot...Now I am the only on woohu..."what a long strange trip its been sippin from a 40 ounce bottle of sin"

help me

:: 2004 15 July :: 4.17 pm

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...breath taking
Your hugs are...friendly
Your eyes...twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...the only thing I desire
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...hypnotising
Your love is...unique
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

1 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 14 July :: 6.23 pm


1 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 13 July :: 3.15 am

As she sits there alone thinking in the back of her mind
She can't help but wonder
The thoughts of happiness just out of reach
Just so far
Everything looks right
It all looks great
But looks are just the eyes
The deceiving eyes of what they think
So she sits there
She's always alone
The worlds so cold she thinks
Its just not fit
I wish I could be happy she thinks
I wish things were great
I want to see what they see
I want the ignorance of eyes
There is nothing here
There is nothing left
Why do I have to cry out like this?
Why do I have to bleed so many tears?
Why can't I just reach out and take that happiness
Where has my life gone?
Why has it excaped?
And why am I still here?
So she sits alone in her room
Crying aloud for no one to hear
Because no one listens
For eyes deceive
And ears don't comprehend
So the blood drips
A tear of silky red
And she is left with the scars to remind her
That no one was there to listen

*I don't know who wrote that but it was saved on my computer*

Isn't it weird when you want people to listen and they are there, you don't want to talk. You just wanna be alone but then you wanna scream and you want people to listen and you wanna talk and you wanna let it all out. But then they have to go and be stupid like myself...its like this right now that I wish that I had the fuckin balls to not fuckin tell any one and just go have ended when I could have ya know...I wasn't attached to anyone then like I am now. But I couldn't and what does that leave me with...this and nothing has really changed I mean look....okay...yeah I have Allen...yeah I have my friends. And the only thing that is great right now is Allen. And that I keep seem to be messing up ya know. This is just all messed. Does anyone understand what its like to wanna go and cry and just cut yourself to pieces. Just to see yourself bleed just to make yourself feel better. I know that, thats bad and that I won't do I made to many promises. But that doesn't mean that I don't want to. I know that in my head, I know that it would make me feel so much better ya know...but then I also know that its wrong...I just wish that this would stop. I want my thoughts or at least what I'm thinking right now to go away. I'm sorry I'm horrible. I hate actting like a fuckin emo kid.

help me

:: 2004 12 July :: 9.14 pm

Wow...okay its been a while since I updated this thing...so lets see um...nothing much has happened. Just been hanging out with Taylor and Nicole a little bit. So um yeah ohoh I'm hooking Ashley and Alex up...lets hope things go well there...I think it will and not to sound mean or cocky but, I'm good at these things. Well gots to go. Talk to you peoples laters. BIBI

help me

:: 2004 7 July :: 12.07 am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: nural

Looky its a survey
Who are you?
What is your full name?: Stephanie-Anne Marie Catania
Current age?: 15
Current Location?:Arizona
Current Grade?: Sophmore
Hair color?: Dark brown and blond spots where the purple used to be
Eye Color?: Green/Hazel
Is your hair dyed?: Yes
Are you single?: No
Are you straight, bi or a lesbian?: Bi
How tall are you?: 5'5 1/2
How much do you weigh?:You don't ask a girl how much she weighs
What is your shoe size?: 7-8
What is your pant size?: You don't ask that either
What is your shirt size?: Lol big cuz my boobs are big
What size is your bra?: Geez your not supposed to ask this question either...36 big C small D
What size is your underwear?: um...
What is your ring size?: I don't know
Do you wear turtle necks?: No
Do you wear skirts?: No
Do you wear cloggs?: No
Do you wear toe socks?: No
Are your ears pierced?: Yes
Is your nose pierced?: No
Do you have anything else pierced on your body besides nose or ears?: No
If you answered yes to the above question, what is it?:^*^
Do you drink?: Yes
Do you smoke cigarrettes?: Yes
Do you smoke pot?: Yes
Do you do drugs?: Yes, pot is a drug
Have you ever held hands with someone?:Yeps
Have you ever hugged someone?: Yeps
Have you ever kissed someone?: Yeps
Have you ever given someone a hickey?: Yeps
Has anyone ever given you a hickey?: Yeps
Have you ever made out with someone?: Yeps
Have you ever done: done what??
Have you ever been in a fight (words only)?:Yeps
Have you ever been in a fight (with physical fighting)?:Not really
Have you ever been badly burned?: Yeah not big though just a little spot on my arm
Have you ever broken any bones, if so which ones?: No
Have you ever been in the hospital?: Yes
Have you ever gotten detention?: Yes
Have you ever skipped a class? Or a whole day of school?: Yes
Have you ever been suspended?: No
Have you ever been expelled?: No
What's the lowest grade you've ever gotten on your report card?: F
What's the highest grade you've ever gotten on your report card?: A
What is your GPA?: 3.3 I think
What were your SAT scores?: I havn't taken them yet
Are you going to college?: I think so.
If yes, what college are you going to/ what college do you want to go to?:I dont know
What would be your major?:Child development, I think
How many people are on your buddy list?: Like 76 but I only talk to like 10
How many people are in your phonebook?: Like 30
What kind of music do you listen to?: Rock
How many downloaded Mp3s are currently on your computer?:um...like 50
Do you think music downloading should be illegal?: No
I don't. Anyways, you have finished this survey. Any thoughts?: Okay

help me

:: 2004 5 July :: 7.25 pm

Okay so I'm giving up on my 'friends' if they want to hangout or do anything they can call me. I'm tired of trying ya know. Theres just to much. So as of now I'm not going to california. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be greedy with my weed...lol. I'm just tired. If you think about it a friendship shouldn't have to be pushed. You shouldn't have to wait you shouldnt have to be put down or replaced and the friends should listen and take in what you say not let it go through especailly when you ask for the advice. I'm done. I'm not giving up...just dropping back. Not hoping for plans not hoping for anything. I'm just going to see what happens. And if nothing does then I guess this is good bye...I can be my own best friend. In a sense I guess I have been. That kinda hits you when they never talk to you unless something is wrong. Or if they want something. I'm tired of have to see if they are doing anything and I'm tired of being turned down or replaced by something else. When I left no one called except ashley. Thats sad isnt it. I guess that shows me who cares. But o well cuz now no one calls and no one bothers. I guess I was a pest ya know. But I'll get over it. Like I said I'm tired of trying in something thats not going anywhere. So I guess this is it. I love you guys and always will but theres always a breaking point and I can only go so far and get shot down so many times. Bye.

1 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 30 June :: 10.44 pm
:: Mood: worried

Hey everyone guess what I'm a horrible person...wait till you hear why. My baby right is all pissed at me because I huffed a week ago and I thought that he had gotten over it...I had already promised my grams and him that I wouldn't do it ever again right. I had done it before and told him and shit and I said that I wouldn't do it again after that. But I was pissed at my friends and all this shit was going through my head I was just tired of it all and I know that its horrible but I went and huffed again right. Well I come home smelling like spray paint so whatever I told my grandmother and Right way I was like I won't do it anymore I don't really like the way I feel afterwards. Right, so my grams was the one that said two days after I told her about me huffing that she would buy me weed and get me a pipe *and hes pissed because I want a pink one* first of all....do I have anything yet??? And you think that if I wanted it that bad I couldn't get it myself??? So I'm a horrible person for excepting her offer....two days after I told her about it...and its not like she hasn't done it before. I have gotten high with her before and then I'm using her now. All because she made an offer. Its not like its going to be a fuckin everyday thing or even and every month thing. But I'm an asshole for not wanting to be called a horrible person and not wanting to hear how the person that I am in love with has no faith in me what so ever. Or how I screw everything up or how I'm not going to stop and that I'm a fuck up baisically. So I kept hanging up because I was fuckin tired of hearing this shit. My grams was actually the one who told me to hang up after he called me a horrible person. She was the one saying that she offered and that if he smokes why can't I and all this shit. Sure I've told him not to smoke...but do I expect him to listen...NO....I have also told him that I don't care what he does with his friends I'm just not going to get high with him. *it makes your sperm less defiecnt* lol silly reason I know. I'm just sitting here like I know I fucked up and I know that I don't want to do it again...and shit like that ya know. But its like he didn't hear any of that all he wanted to do was explain how I'm a fuck up. Then I got so pissed that I told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to him anymore. Ya know I'm mad....I get told that I fuck everything by alot of people...I get told that I'm a horrible person by alot of people...I get called an asshole by alot of people...ya know its like, I know that I don't need that. I know that I deserve some one who believes in me even if I fuck up a couple times. I think that everybody deserves that. People mess up ya know, but to freak and call the person horrible and an asshole and to have no faith what so ever. I mean I fucked up with this and cutting my self right...but other than that what have I failed anyone in...if you know please tell me...I'm not saying little things that everyone messes up but things that matter. Its sad ya know and its those things that make me wonder. I have been put down by enough guys and then he has to go and say along the lines of the same thing that they have said and what they did. When he said that he never would. I have messed up woo...I said I wouldn't I did it again. Not like it was several times. It was once. Then when I said that I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to him again, he didn't fight. I was just like what the fuck...you said that you would fight that you wouldn't let me go that easy. Its stuff like that, that makes me wonder if he means what he says. Ya know its like I guess I was just the back up girl and that I wasn't going to be anymore than that ya know...maybe he didn't love me and was just looking for a way out of what he was getting through ya know. I guess. I don't know what to do. How do you get over a person that you gave your all to?? That you gave everything to....especailly when you don't want to. Ya know I love him. Hes wonderful, hes everything...but I guess that was just me...it sucks when you love someone and they dont love you back. And that you realize that over something compeltly fucked ya know. Why does this have to hurt so much....this sucks

1 handed me a rope | help me

:: 2004 26 June :: 10.25 pm
:: Mood: ditzy

LOL....I'm sitting here right not really doing all much of anything and then like I started thinking about people. And how they act because they want to be 'cool' or they think it will look good. They want to do something because they think that it looks 'goth' or 'hardcore' thats pathetic. Oh hey if I do this and then this...people will look at me and say something like oh god, or it gives me the right to say that im goth. God that pisses me off. Not the fact that theyre goth or whatever but because thats what they pride themselves on. Esspecially when they arent very good at being what they say they are. Don't they realize that its all a fad. And that just because you shop at Hot Topic doesn't make you any better or more hardcore than anything else. Infact did you know that Hot Topic is owned by Abercromie and Finch. Isn't that funny. The preps are catering to the posers. LOL its great. "look at me I'm going to do this with my hair and this with my face and makeup and then put on a black mini skirt and tight tank top and hehe looky arent i cool or tight" God its such bullshit. Or how people don't think that there parents care about them. They care....maybe not in the way you want them to but they do. They care alot. I wish they would see. Just because they wont buy you a care or dont understand whats going on in your life or dont want you to drugs and change your out look on life and not be all "whoa is me" all the time doesnt mean that they dont care. It means that they dont want to spoil you, or your not getting your way....I have to something to say to you GET OVER IT
I mean really. Okay yeah you do have your parents who really are bitches....I understand that like Ashley Ms mommy...*sorry ashley* but as for other people come on. Or how about people who base their lives around what someone else says. Oh hey she said this so lets do that to. My god, will people please get over the whole teenage angst thing....if your going to kill yourself please do it and get it over with because the world is tired of your bitching. Honestly. It will be good for everybody PATHETIC!!!!! And if someone is so clingy that its amusing don't you think (the person that is instigating it) say something. Don't you think that something should be done about that ya know. but nooo people just sit there and let it all slide. dragging people along on string. Like a three year old that just caught a fish. They drag it every where. STUPID, LAME, YOUR NOT GODS GIFT TO EARTH GET OVER IT....AND NOT EVERY GUY YOU TALK TO LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!! lol okay im done see that was all in like 5 seconds of thinking. scary huh. hmm....well i have to go take a shower cuz im going up north to help nicole clean and shit. so this will be fun oh oh oh and another thing I cant stand flacky people, if you say your going to do something do it. Please cuz if your not then dont say your going to do it in the first place it makes you look like a bitch, asshole, snobby.... and everyother possible thing out there. okay now im done thanks loves you bibi

help me

:: 2004 22 June :: 4.36 pm

What is your name?:Stephanie
Are you named after anyone?:No
What's your screename?:Losersunite54321
Would you name a child of yours after you?:No
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:I dont know
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:Don't know
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:My last name
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:No I like my last name its the type of last name that would be famous with you
Your gender::Female
If not, do you want to be?:No
Your age::15
Age you act::depends sometimes older sometimes younger
Age you wish you were::21 so I can drink legally
Your height::5'5 and a half!!
Eye color::green/ hazel
Happy with it?:yeah
Hair color::dark brown with purple I need to get it redone though :'(
Happy with it?:No I need it redone!
Your living arrangement::My grandmother
Your family::Beka Lonnie My Grams
Have any pets?:yeppers 3 dogs 2 fish and 5 cats
Whats your job?:school
Piercings?:my ears
Tattoos?:no soon though for my 16 birthday
Do you speak another language?:kinda sorta not really
Have a favorite quote?:our thoughts become our reality. we create the happiness of our own heaven or the misery of our own hell.
Do you have a webpage?:yes
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:not really
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:at times
Do you have any secrets?:yeah
Do you hate yourself?:yeah
Do you like your handwriting?:no
Do you have any bad habits?:yeah
What is the compliment you get from most people?:they like my eyes or my hair
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:wow...so this is it huh?
What's your biggest fear?:being alone or being with to many people
Can you sing?:no
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:not really
Are you a loner?:kinda
What are your #1 priorities in life?:im trying to make it myself
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:yeah i think im nice
Are you a daredevil?:no
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:...everything
Are you passive or agressive?:passive
Do you have a journal?:yeah
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:my strength is what i think and my weakness is how i word that
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:...everything
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:yeah
Do you think life has been good so far?:at times
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:that things always get better even if the first thing around the corner is something bad
What do you like the most about your body?:my eyes and my boobs
And least?:...everything else
Do you think you are good looking?:no
Are you confident?:not really
What is the fictional character you are most like?:....fuck if i know
Are you perceived wrongly?:at times
Do You...
Do drugs?:yeah
Read the newspaper?:yeah
Go to church?:no
Talk to strangers who IM you?:i ask them who they are
Sleep with stuffed animals?:yeah
Take walks in the rain?:yeah
Talk to people even though you hate them?:yeah
Drive?:i try
Like to drive fast?:no im a pussy
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:no
Hurt yourself?:yeah
Been out of the country?:no
Eaten something that made other people sick?:no
Been in love?:yeah
Done drugs?:yeah
Gone skinny dipping?:yeah
Had a medical emergency?:yeah
Had surgery?:yeah
Ran away from home?:yeah
Played strip poker?:yeah
Gotten beaten up?:my me parents
Beaten someone up?:no
Been picked on?:yeah
Been on stage?:yeah
Slept outdoors?:yeah
Thought about suicide?:yeah
Pulled an all nighter?:yeah
If yes, what is your record?:two and a half days
Gone one day without food?:yeah
Talked on the phone all night?:yeah
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:yeah
Slept all day?:yeah
Killed someone?:no
Made out with a stranger?:yeah
Had sex with a stranger?:no
Thought you're going crazy?:yeah
Kissed the same sex?:yeah
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:yeah
Been betrayed?:yeah
Had a dream that came true?:yeah
Broken the law?:yeah
Met a famous person?:yeah
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:no
On purpose?:no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:yeah
Stolen anything?:yeah
Been on radio/tv?:yeah
Been in a mosh-pit?:close to one
Had a nervous breakdown?:yeah
Bungee jumped?:no
Had a dream that kept coming back?:yeah
Belive in life on other planets?:there has to be
Miracles?:in a sense
Magic?:in a sense
Ghosts?:in a sense
Luck?:yeah...i dont have any
Love at first sight?:yeah
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:yeah
Easter bunny?:no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:yeah
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:no
Do you wish on stars?:yeah
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:no i think its what you want your own heaven to be
Do you think God has a gender?:no
Do you believe in organized religion?:no
Where do you think we go when we die?:where we want to
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:yeah
Who is your best friend?:ashley or allen
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:allen
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:....i dont know apparently it wasnt that good
Your favourite inside joke?:lol ashleys white paint
Thing you're picked on most about?:hm...what isnt there
Who's your longest known friend?:taylor
Newest?:hm...bunny i dont know is she a friend
Funniest?:alex or ashley
Sweetest?:alex or brandi
Closest?:my baby
Friends you miss being close to the most?:all of them
Last person you talked to online?:ashley
Who do you talk to most online?:allen or ashley sometimes random people that pop up really not anymore one person than anyone else
Who are you on the phone with most?:allen
Who do you trust most?:allen i think....lol no im kidding i do i do
Who listens to your problems?:allen or ashley
Who do you fight most with?:taylor
Who's the nicest?:all of them are nice
Who's the most outgoing?:ashley
Who's the best singer?:...singing thats funny
Who's on your shit-list?:hm...
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:who hasnt
Who's your second family?:taylor
Do you always feel understood?:no
Who's the loudest friend?:ashley
Do you trust others easily?:no
Who's house were you last at?:taylors
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::my babies
Do your friends know you?:kinda
Friend that lives farthest away::allen
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:no
What do you find romantic?:words and pink and white roses for no reason *winkwink* naw im playing...poems all that mushy girlly shit
Turn-on?:eyes voices and eyes
Turn-off?:bullshit/ exsessive sweating/ when some one says fuck to much
First kiss?:i was younger
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:weird
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:yeah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:no i like it the old fashioned way...god im such a girl
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:yes
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:at times
What is best about the opposite sex?:hahahaha i think thats obvious
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:their pirde
What's the last present someone gave you?:barbie toothbrush and tooth paste and those scar away things
Are you in love?:yeah
Do you consider your significant other hot?:yeah
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:ugh god i hate you manda
You wanted to kill?:manda
That you laughed at?:manda
That laughed at you?:hmm....i dont know they havent been doing it to my face
That turned you on?:they way he talked to me
You went shopping with?:ashley
That broke your heart?:rather not talk about it
To disappoint you?:my grams and friends
To ask you out?:lol my mommies neighbor
To make you cry?:i dont know sometimes ill cry and dont know why
To brighten up your day?:allen
That you thought about?:my ass and how it hurt
You saw a movie with?:taylor and ashley
You talked to on the phone?:allen
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:ashley
You saw?:brandi
You lost?:all sorts of friends
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:ickkies im not going out i gots my baby forever
Will it be with your significant other?:he already is
Or some random person?:no
What are you wearing right now?:jeans and a black sabbath t-shirt
Body part you're touching right now::my thumbs
What are you worried about right now?:my hair
What book are you reading?:not reading one
What's on your mousepad?:nothings its dark blue
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::bored, tired, anxious, irritaded, and crappy
Are you bored?:yeah
Are you tired?:yeah
Are you talking to anyone online?:yeah
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:yeah
Are you lonely or content?:lonley
Are you listening to music?:no

Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!

help me

:: 2004 10 June :: 8.06 pm
:: Mood: angry

_________ [4:48 PM]: dont fucking talk to me tonight
_________ [4:48 PM]: your afucking dumbass
Losersunite54321 [4:48 PM]: yep
Losersunite54321 [4:48 PM]: bye
_________ [4:48 PM]: if your fucking nicknames a whore
_________ [4:48 PM]: i'll fucking call you a w hore
_________ [4:48 PM]: is that what you want
Losersunite54321 [4:49 PM]: keep jumpin sweetie come on lets hear it lets go
_________ [4:49 PM]: my fucking girlfriend is no whore
_________ [4:49 PM]: i swear to god id be in jail right now if i was there
Losersunite54321 [4:49 PM]: what would you do fuckin beat me up not like it hasnt been done before
_________ [4:50 PM]: your just a stupid asshole
_________[4:50 PM]: that someone calls you a whore and you fucking think thats your nick name
_________ [4:50 PM]: when you fucking realize your nickname is not whore, and you change it, call me okay
_________ [4:50 PM]: goodnight
Losersunite54321 [4:50 PM]: im the asshole....hun me ashley and taylor call ourselves whores all the time i wasnt just refering to what he said
_________ [4:50 PM]: im not going to believe that
Losersunite54321 [4:51 PM]: god ive known the fucker for what a week and youthink that im living by what he says thanks
Losersunite54321 [4:51 PM]: then dont
_________ [4:51 PM]: go fuckyourself
_________ [4:51 PM]: call me when you dont call yourself a whore
_________ [4:51 PM]: or fucking believe what ryan the asshole says
_________[4:51 PM]: bye
Losersunite54321 [4:51 PM]: your an over reacting asswhole
Losersunite54321 [4:52 PM]: but whatever sweetie...maybe i should go base my life around what this guy says
Losersunite54321 [4:52 PM]: ya know if thats what you think so much
_________ [4:52 PM]: check profile
_________ [4:52 PM]: goodnight and talk to you when you grow up
_________ [4:52 PM]: and dont call yourself degrating shit

*I fuckin introduce myself (jokingly) as the fuckin bisexual whore. But oh know he wont fuckin believe that will he. God dammit. Why do people have to be so stuck in there fuckin ways.*

1 handed me a rope | help me

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