2006 10 December :: 2.00 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Just Feel Better - Carlos Santana ft. Steven Tyler
Part of me says let it go, everything must have its season..
So. Things have been progressing relatively well on Val. Dax has gone half-missing in action, compared to usual. It's sort of weird to be the active person on Val, and Dax be the semi-inactive one. Roles have been reversed and it's -weird-.
On a good note, Adri willingly handed Crystina off. Meaning Skyza now roleplays her. S'a good thing. I think Skyza will do just fine at being a miniature Pamina. ;]
Speaking of Pamina, I've had one hell of an urge to write lately. Mainly about Pamina. I just..don't know how to mix Loth and Val without completely screwing up both versions of the character. Working on it! I promise.
I've talked to Jon about this a lot lately. It feels good, to vent to a friend. Just..vent. He very, very rarely gives any sides or points on the whole Angelomatter. Just..listens.
Things are crazybatshitinsane on the Angelo front. One second he's fine. The next, he's bitching and yelling at me for the stupidest things in the entire world. I tried to have a decent conversation with him the other day, about things totally unrelated to us or anything we've been fighting about (After he told me I "couldn't have a serious conversation" with him, no less), and the only thing he could do was launch into insults toward me. Nothing more.
Today, I woke up to find him growling at me (On my uploading screenname, no less.) for laying into Rob the other night. Not because I laid into Rob, nono. Because apparently, me laying into Rob (It was not handled in the best way, granted, but it was because I'm afraid of seeing him get hurt. It should be noted that this situation has been resolved already.) means that I have a thing for Rob. ..
I have mentioned Bizz how many times? I'm rather serious about the fact that he and I are trying to settle on a date to tie the knot. It's not as simple as throwing some numbers into a hat and drawing them out. It's a big step. We want it to be right. We want the date to mean something. Simply because Angelo and I discussed marriage.. *Shakes head.* Not a thing about Dustin and my relationship means that it is going to end up like all of the rest of my relationships. To be honest, beyond Angelo, I'm getting sick of the comments I get on my entries that reference to that very thing. My friends are supposed to be supportive of me. They aren't supposed to make a mockery of something I hold dear to me. Frankly, I'd prefer they just disappeared, as opposed to trying to start any crap with me on here.
As far as Angelo goes, one thing I've realized is that I've been way too nice. I have blocked him, despite what a lot of people may think. Numerous times. What wants in, though, will get in. He's showed up on MSN, random screennames of his I've forgotten about, -my- screennames, Xfire.. Whatever. It's why I don't bother to block him. It's why I bother with him at all, because I know not doing so is futile. 'Lest I intend to change my entire internet alias, and let's face it, I don't.
He himself, though, has at times mentioned how he doesn't know why, or is surprised that I still bother with him. To be honest, so am I. I can only mention how many times that I don't care to hear what I did wrong (In his eyes) five thousand times, worded five thousand different ways. To tell you the truth, I'd be ecstatic if I could just get on with my life. But I don't have that choice, apparently.
I apologized to Rob for exploding on him the other night. My reasoning, I'll leave for him to know. The fact of the matter is that it should be noted that I support him through whatever he intends to do, because he is my friend. Angelo should make note here that my friends do mean things to me, outside of potential people for actual relationships. Believe it or not, just because they have a penis does not mean I have some sort of interest in them beyond friendship. Enjoy yourself.
Bizz decided to quest away my last four bars of experience to make Melidias hit 43. After I hit 40, I just burnt out. I have -zero- drive to level right now. Not to mention, no drive to deal with the guild issues at hand. Argh.
I think I've rattled on enough. Time to put a lid on this entry.
2006 30 November :: 12.49 am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Burnin' For You - Blue Oyster Cult
Burn out the day, burn out the night..
So, I spent the evening with Mr. Rob. We spent the time hanging out with Ben and Jessica, and..of course, watching Rob play ITG2. Much conversation was had, and at one point in time or something, Heather showed up. Wasn't paying a lot of attention, though, so I really didn't notice her come in. I was preoccupied.
I fed Rob (No, you don't owe me. :[), and good times were had by all. Though, sadly, my legs hurt. And feel like jelly, at the same time. It's your fault, Rob. YOURS! >:O
Beyond that, I spent the day graphicsing. Funfun.
2006 27 November :: 4.52 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
And not seein' that lovin' you, is what I was tryin' to do..
So, I am apparently going home this Tuesday (Which is technically tomorrow, now.) instead of next week, because it'll be easier for my grandmother to make a single trip instead of..several. She has to go to Virginia Wednesday, and it would be easier for her to just take me back to Parma now, instead of coming back to NC, then making an eight hour trip right after making the one from Virginia to here. I'm okay with it. The grandfather and the mom are not. Not a lot I can do about it, though.
Last night was an interesting one, to say the least. Angelo and I got into it for the umpteenth time, at first over meaningless things. It progressed, though, when he'd found out that Bizz had made a comment on an entry he'd written specifically to me from my journal. Bizz had logged on to my journal to read a community post. I didn't know he'd left a comment on Angelo's journal until..after it happened? Needless to say, I was held responsible for it, and accused of being a "deceptive bitch", and all sorts of things like that. It progressed into him throwing some pretty stupid threats at me. Ones I was able to brush off, but, Bizz couldn't. They bothered him a lot, and didn't bother me, and differences clashed. Me 'not seeing' that it bothered him upset him even more, and we got into it a bit. The end result, both from my bit with Dustin and my argument with Angelo, is that I've made both of their lives simpler and blocked Angelo on AIM, banned him from Livejournal (Including my own LJ names, as I know how much he likes to get on those to get into contact with me.), and as I learned when I woke up, forgot to block him on MSN. That's been fixed as of two lines ago.
In the end, I guess I'm just hoping shit can be resolved on its own now. It's become that Angelo's tirades don't effect me all that much, but if they're enough to drive a wedge between Dustin and I, I'll make that move to keep it from happening anymore. Whatever it takes to get rid of said wedge. Whatever it takes.
Though, I will leave you a parting note, Ang. While I -highly- doubt the person you saw was Bizz, he is allowed to go on Maelstrom whenever he wishes. You don't own the realm, and you -really- don't need to come to me and ask me "why the fuck" he is on a realm. I don't really know. Or care.
My sleep schedule's fucked in a big way. I'm falling asleep around 8-9 and getting up before -anyone- in the house is. Hopefully I can fix it, and soon. I have -got- to find a job when I get back. Rob and I discussed searching for a job that doesn't suck when he has a day off, maybe. I dunno. I'll hit him up sooner or later.
Wow. I talk to Rob a lot these days. O.o
Anyway. Bizz might be heading home today, or maybe Wednesday. He's not sure yet. I still say he should come get his meaningless gift. ;D
2006 25 November :: 7.59 pm
:: Music: Leave The Pieces - The Wreckers
So why are you still standin' here, just watchin' me drown?
I have 0.002% of Bizz's Christmas shopping done. Unfortunately, I think I'll be giving him the 0.002% of his Christmas gifts when I see him, not on Christmas. I need to do that whole shopping thing when I get home. The mall's going to be a bitch though, methinks. I dunno. I'll find a date before Bizz gets back to have Rob act as a bodyguard, or something.
We went over to Scott's dad's for dinner tonight. There were a ton of people there, including Brittany and Mike (My..step-cousins?). Brittany and I, amazingly, got along rather well, and married or not, Mike still couldn't keep his eyes off of me. Three years later and the fact that now, we're related, it creeped me out. I hid behind a microwave. Britt also brought her boyfriend with her. Needless to say, I miss Dustin more than ever now.
I'm really, really tired tonight, for some reason. I have been for a few days now. Despite the extreme amounts of sleep I got originally, and blargh. I slept through almost an hour of everyone being awake earlier. What the hell.
I think I'm going to go crash on the recliner. Kyle stole the couch. Phone is on.
2006 25 November :: 12.56 am
:: Music: Tim McGraw - Taylor Swift
I hope you think of me..
My mom and I went at it like mad all day today. She actually yelled at me for telling her she was wrong about something she was..apparently extremely sure she was right about. I didn't get much of a, "Gee, sorry for biting your fucking head off." out of her when I showed her my proof. Needless to say, I'm kinda wishing it were the fourth about now. She's been helpful in other aspects today, but -damn-.
I also got into it with Angelo today. I'm not as ignored as I thought I'd be?
Scott asked me 'how serious' Dustin and I were this afternoon. I said, "Pretty serious", and he asked me if I meant in terms of marriage. It took me awhile to answer him, and now that I have, I can't -wait- for him to relay the conversation to my mom. Going to great, I bet.
I'm extremely exhausted. But..sleep? Nooo..
2006 24 November :: 4.21 am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Swingin' Doors - Martina McBride
I've come to realize, that your promises are lies, to buy you time when you wanna get away..
So, today, or technically yesterday, now, was Thanksgiving. All day long, Kyle threw temperfits, because apparently that's the thing to do day in and day out. Over stupid things, at that. Like someone touching an object that is in no way related to him. He's two. I digress.
I basically passed out after dinner, around 7-8ish, after talking to Dustin. I woke up around three, and here I am.
Aside the typical Thanksgiving festivities, I hit 39 on Melidias this morning, and then spent the rest of the afternoon (Up until dinner.) running my mom and Scott through their elite quests and VC. Wasn't hard, and I've decided they're two of the most competant people I've ever had to help on WoW. I dunno if that's because they were sitting two feet from me or not. Later on, I hung out on Val for a little bit (Partially with Mav, strangely enough), and talked to Rob. S'about as eventful as my night/day has been.
I head back the fourth. Still no clue when Dustin will be home. I miss the flamer. :/
2006 22 November :: 3.58 am
:: Music: Me - Paula Cole
It is me who is my enemy..
So, I am in North Carolina. We left around 7:30 this morning, much to my disappointment, really. Though, it's the holidays. I'm trying to keep my chin up over it. I really am attached to Dustin. In a big way. I need to reduce my clinginess, stat. Looking back at this morning.. That was absolutely pathetic of me. I'm sorry, love. Forgive me?
I slept the entire way down to my mom's. In short, that means I've managed fifteen hours of sleep since 7 last night. It's 4AM now, and I'm not tired in the least. So much for that whole getting back on schedule thing.
I had a rather fulfilling conversation with Rob tonight. Good times were had by all. Just thought I'd mention it.
Beyond that, nothing's going on. The plan while I am here is to roleplay and try and level as much as possible before I go home. Once I get back to Parma, job hunting is in full swing. What a late way to do so. Argh. Back to the mall I go. Via bike. That should be fun with our weather as of late.
So it goes.
2006 20 November :: 7.02 am
:: Mood: discontent
Don't stop, the sun from shining down on me, 'cuz I can't face another day without your smile..
We both sort of lazied out on the whole cleaning thing right after I made dinner/served dessert. It's not to say we still don't have cleaning to do. I have to do laundry, else neither of us will have clothes to take with us on our trip(s). Not to mention, my grandmother will have a cow if she sees my kitchen and floors in the state they're in right now. Speaking of floors, a piece of the tile in my kitchen got -stuck to my foot- and came up -off- of the floor today. I'm scared.
I do need to run out and mail some stuff off when daylight breaks, most importantly a phone bill I apparently did not pay last month, despite thinking I did. Not to mention, I found this month's bill, ta-da, a day before it's due. I'm fucked.
Only a single day left before Dustin and I go our separate ways, for a short while. And it will be spent cleaning and entertaining my grandparents. Figures. The good thing about it is that maybe my grandmother can work my heat without making it explode. Hopehopehope.
I wish I wasn't making such a big deal about these trips. It isn't forever, it's a few days. On the other hand, it's a few days more than I am used to being away from him. Aaaargh.
2006 14 November :: 3.24 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Anymore - Travis Tritt
That's what I hate about waking up and seeing further commentary on an argument I had the night before. My brain runs a hundred miles a minute in hopes of coming up with some sort of wicked retaliation, despite the fact that I honestly don't -want- to retaliate. Whatever, though. This is how it goes.
Mitch did get mad at me over the entire, extremely stupid roleplaying thing, which is something I called the night before I'd even considered all of the alternatives. The first thing that came to my mind, when Jon said that he might bring Uriel back to Valikorlia, was, "Mitch is going to be pissed. Great."
And lo and behold, I was right.
He threw some pretty harsh lines at me last night, whether that was the intention or not. Ones regarding the situation crippling our friendship, and things of that likeness. I gave up after that. The argument was useless to be having, and I put up an away message and went to bed. As simple as that. I really don't feel like having a repeat-process of people spazzing out over my friendship with Jon. We're close, and that isn't going to change. Not on my behalf. It's never prohibited me from keeping friendships with others, and I don't intend to let people start thinking that 4+ years later.
Things still seemed a bit rocky between Jon and I at first, last night, but..I dunno. It warmed up a bit toward the end of the night. Progress is a good thing, right?
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
A long, thin one down the length of my right forearm. Everyone who sees it pulls the "lolol did u cut urslef" crap, but it's actually damage done by Miesha, Cat from Hell.
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
There's supposed to be stuff on them? I'm no good at this decorating stuff.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
..Silver? It's a flip phone.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Early morning. I think.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES?
anaheim. Being little again. Things were simpler. Less heartache in any sense.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
.. *Wave ring Jon gave her.*
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Kinda depends. If I have a way of getting say, a door, that won't kill me if I open it? Then nah. Elevators don't count.
11. IF YOU DIED TOMORROW:
I'd figure it was from a heart attackdue to my massive intake of caffeine and etc.
12. THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY?
It's a Bizz/Jon mix, really..
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
From the way things have gone, I can safely say that I don't care.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
16: DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE?
I tend to rub people the wrong wya, honestly. Whether I like them or not. They take me far too seriously.
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD
Um.. Mitch, I guess.
20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
Sign language on occasion?
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
First gift? Joseph gave me a ring on a neclace yeeears ago, but I think I lost it when I went on vacation. The funny part about that is that I went on vacation, the necklace stayed home.
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Wouldn't surprise me. I seem drawn to the impossible, at times.
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Words tend to fail me, when it comes to that. I get this urge to go in for major hugs and stuff at that point.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
31. BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES?
I have dated two blondes. They were both naturally brunette. I never dated a redhead.
32. WHAT IS ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
My mom's. Probably the only number I call these days.
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
People misinterpreting things I intend to do or say as malicious, when really that's no where near the truth.
34. HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
Venting to Bob and writing my entry.. Seems to have succeeded in calming me down.
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Uhh.. I wouldn't.
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
I saw it, and decided I wanted to.
42. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PIZZA?
Barbecue chicken pizza ftw.
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Oh whatever would I do.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
45. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING BLOOD?
Wonder who pissed God off tonight.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not to my knowledge. If I'd been born a guy, I was supposed to be named after my uncle Allen.
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Thumb, right hand. Ring finger, right hand. Or the same on the left. Whatever.
49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Night before last. Showers make for excellent "sob-your-heart-out-where-no-one-can-see-you" experiences.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I can read it.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Biting my nails. Being a slob.
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON YOUR SHELF?
I don't have a shelf.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Depends on what I'm mad about. If it's at someone else, I probably (verbally) take it out on that person. Otherwise, I get frustrated to the point that I cry.
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
Emily's house, or Alina's. Used to be, anyway.
59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Absolutely no idea. I had a massive Barbie collection, though.
61. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS?
Math. Simply because I hate it.
62. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
Several online, one offline.
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
A sense of humor and a good heart. That's all I ask, really.
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Bri, BriBri, uh.. Yeah. S'about it.
67. Would you bungee jump?
68. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
69. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS?
I haven't really thought about it.
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
71. What is your shoe size?
10 and a 1/2 in women's.
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
Red, blue on occasion, and the absence of color.
73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Two. Top ones don't seem to want to come in. I don't mind it that way.
74. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Bizz, as he's sleeping. Jon. Mitch in all of his non-attitudeness.
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Anymore - Travis Tritt
77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
A few bites of chicken flavored ramen. I lost my appetite after that.
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
80. DO YOU LOVE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS?
Yes, yes I do.
81. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Kind of upset, to be honest.
82. FAVORITE DRINK?
83. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Jack and I are buddies.
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
85. HAIR COLOR?
86. EYE COLOR?
87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
Two step-brothers and a half-brother.
89. FAVORITE MONTH?
90. FAVORITE FOOD?
91. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Uhh.. The Day After Tomorrow.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
I did, so I guess not.
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
95. HUGS OR KISSES
96. Relationships or one night stands?
97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
100. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have a mouse pad.
101. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
I haven't touched a board game in years.
102. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Nope. TV in my room went out.
103. WHO WERE YOU WITH LAST NIGht?
104. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
"Anything I have to do today? Nope? Zzz.."
Best, Worst, Last, First, Today, Tomorrow, Favorites, Currently, Yes & No, and how old...
1. Male friend: Jon, Mitch, Dustin. Angelo's trying to work his way back up there.
2. Female friend: Emily, Taylor Crystal.
3. Vacation: Oak Island, NC.
1. Time of day: 10:00 AM
2. Day of the Week: Tuesday.
3. Food: Spinach.
4. Memory: Heh.
1. Person you saw: Bizz.
2. Talked to on the phone: My mom.
3. Text: Taylor?
4. IMed: Bob.
5. Messaged over myspace: Jon. Three million times.
1. What are you doing now: Filling this out.
2. Wearing: Sweats and some faded USA shirt.
3. Better than yesterday? Not really.
1. Tomorrow Is: Wednesday.
2. Got any plans: No.
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: It's..Wednesday?
1. Number: 12
2. Song: Bed of Roses - Bon Jovi
3. Color: Red
4. Season: Fall. Or it was, until I moved here. Too cold.
1. Missing someone: Yes.
2. Mood: Blargh.
3. Wanting: I dunno.
Yes or No:
I am a cuddler: Can be.
I am a morning person: No.
I am a perfectionist: No.
I am an only child: No.
I am currently in my pajamas: Yes.
I am currently single: No.
I am addicted to myspace: No.
I am online 24/7: Yep.
I am very shy around the opposite gender: Absolutely.
I enjoy country music? Yes.
I enjoy jazz music: Sometimes.
I enjoy smoothies: They're my friends.
I enjoy talking on the phone: Yeah.
I have a crush: No.
I have a hard time paying attention at school: I have a hard time getting into school.
I have a hidden talent: I don't know. It's -hidden-.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: Probably not.
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy: Depends on how you look at it.
I have at least one brother and/or sister: Yes.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor: Yes.
I have broken a bone: One. My jaw. By way of steel roller coaster.
I have changed a diaper: Unfortunately.
I have changed a lot over the past year: Depends on who I am talking to.
I have done something illegal: Yep.
I have had major/minor surgery: No.
I have had my hair cut within the last 2 months: Yes.
"How Old Were You When You First ...."
Fell in love: Uhh.. Fifteen, I think.
Lost someone close to you: Twelve.
Drank alcohol: Fifteen.
Got kissed: Thriteen.
Got your heart broken: .. Fifteen.
Got cheated on: .. Fifteen. Fifteen was not a good year for me, it seems.
Rode the city bus: Never.
Went to a concert: Eight or nine?
Met someone famous: Fourteen.
Dyed your hair: Fourteen.
Got your own cell phone: Seventeen.
Got a myspace: Uhh.. I'm not sure.
Snuck out of the house: Never.
2 Said something |
2006 13 November :: 4.48 pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: 'Til I Hear It From You - Gin Blossoms
As far as I know nothin's wrong, until I hear it from you..
Monday, November 13th, 2006 PST
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Coworkers could surprise you today with what they say about you. Your first reaction may be to reject their criticism or encouragement, but chances are they really mean well and it would be to your advantage to take what they say to heart. The cues you receive from others can be crucial in the decisions you make over the next few days.
What a night.
For starters, last night, Bizz and I hit three months. It was fun, and we had celebratory Burger King instead of actually going out to eat at a restraunt per normal. No complaints were made by either of us, save for the ones about the tiny (Okay, they had to be like 7 or 8 years old) children running amok in said Burger King, from jumping off benches to sitting on tables, to sliding their toy across said benches to a point I half-expected it to go through one of the windows.
We came home, and not five minutes later, Jon logged on to AIM. As a recap of the past few days, I did what some would call some "gentle prodding" to try and get a hold of Jon. I like to call it harrassing him to a full. Sending him messages I knew he would not open on Myspace, and thus putting my messages in the subject line, calling his cellphone, the works. To be honest, I did it for about a day and a half, and I'd already intentions of giving up. I didn't think it would work.
It got his attention though, as he got on AIM to talk to me about it. Things started off rocky, and that's not a referance to how shaky my hands were as I typed to him. I got to say my piece, though I don't know how much of it really settled in with him. Even so, saying my piece was all I'd asked for, was it not? He mentioned bringing Uriel back to Val a few times, and at one point did log on. I had to help him set up with Clash's new system and whatnot.
While I'm glad to have my best friend back (As I type this, he's still on AIM a day later. Away, but online.), I also get the feeling, deep down, that he really hasn't forgiven me, and really isn't sure if he wants to stick around or not. Obviously I want him to, but, well, life's not all about me and my wants. There's nothing more that I can do, as all of Angelo's tips and tricks had been exhausted by the time he gave them to me. Tips and tricks just..to get all of the important stuff off of my chest while I had the chance, at least.
Though, as our conversation dwindled down, I told Angelo one thing I knew for certain. Mitch was going to be pissed. Or upset, or something. Jon bringing his character back will throw a wrench into the storyline we've been developing (Slowly, but surely), somehow or another. Mitch was upset by it, though he wouldn't outright admit it, and I knew that the second that Jon logged on to Val. It was all confirmed by his journal post that I read earlier, but..eh.
To be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do with Pamina. There is no clear-cut way to roleplay her out as intended and keep Mitch's and my storlyine, nor is there any way for me to keep our storyline and still roleplay her out as intended. I'm being smashed between a rock and a hard place with this one, and I don't think that there is any middle ground to be found over all of this. Frankly, it's somewhat unnerving, knowing that even though the cause of my problems with Pamina is back, and yet I still don't know what to do with her. By logic, Pamina should leap into Uriel's arms upon seeing him (After the verbal and physical beatdown she would give him, of course) and never look back, but the other half of me isn't that willing to kill of a storyline, simply because it's unfair to Mitch.
I really don't know what to do, or if I intend to do anything at all. I cold still just let her rot, after all.
I logged off after a bit, intending to sleep (Dustin and I were supposed to go out today.. Oops.), but after playing around and generally having a good time, Dustin and I got into a fight. A fight so stupid, and so meaningless, that I can't even put a name as to why we fought. Needless to say, I didn' get into bed/sleep until around 6AM-ish.
It's now 4:57 in the evening, and I'm as lost as I was last night, and still just as worried about everything. Joy.