2004 28 June :: 8.11 pm
more love, less handle
woohu is good for venting when i don't really want anyone to know about my situation. i mean i know some people read this but i think the people i don't want reading my journal read my livejournal...well at least i think.
i'm still completely upset about the current situation. i mean he loves her. love is so....big. it's like "i love you. marry me!" i am just so fucking angry. why can't he love me? oh right, because i am just the girl he has feelings for, can't be the one he loves. but you know what? maybe it is good he doesn't love me. cause like i said, it's love.
ok. i take that back. i totally want him to love me.
i want to hate him, but the more i want to hate the more i think about him and, as weird as it is, like him.
i am going up north on thursday so hopefully i will start to forget all the conversations we had. all the times i dreamt about him. the past days of crying. it's just, depressing.
when i'm gone IM me cause i'll have all my IMs forwarded to my phone.
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2004 26 June :: 1.34 pm
i don't understand it.
he knows how much i care for him, how strong it is. he loves her.
do these things only happen to me?
last night i didn't know what to do. up till quarter of 1. most of it laying in bed or sitting on the floor in the bathroom to not make any noise.
i can't handle it. i can't tell anyone. i need to tell my feelings. i need someone.
2004 20 June :: 12.34 am
funny how things work out
iluvBITP: i miss you alex. yes i haven't seen you in 2 years, but i still miss you
HandOfDoom21: i miss you to heather
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2004 9 June :: 9.14 pm
ok, normally woohu is shitty, i find it amazing that earlier. oh like, 20 minutes ago, livejournal was being shitty.
i didn't do much today. my mom made me go to yoga with her. fun stuff, let me tell ya!
then we came home, ate lunch and kinda hung out, then we picked up amy, went to wal-mart, target and looked at model homes up in saturnia isles for the hell of it.
dropped amy off, went to my grandparents house in pompano for a little.
now i'm here. bored out of my mind, but i'm styaing in tonight. <3
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2004 5 June :: 3.33 pm
:: Music: fly by night
omfg. longest Lj entry ever
2004 28 May :: 1.00 pm
shoe size: 9
My______thinks I am....
dad: in 8th grade
sibling (s): annoying
best friend: gurney hatin silly person
boyfriend/girlfriend: dont have one
band: RUSH (at the moment)
beverage: cran-grape juice
color: pale pink
article of clothing: navy american eagle pants and off the shoulder pink express shirt
time of the day: 10 at night
TV show: don't have one...
live forever/die young: live forever
real mail/e-mail: read mail
cell phone/home phone: cell
most annoying: mmm. cant say
funniest: jessica urban
prettiest: hmm..ari. def
the one you'd like to be stranded with: emily
someone you WISH could be your friend: all those drummers that graduated. OH and someone else but i don't want ya'll to know
most likely to end up in jail: jessica brandi
Worst/Best thing that has ever been served to you (talking about food here): worst: i don't know/ best: chinese chicken salad at cheesecake factory
worst/best year of your life: Worst: 7th grade year/ Best: this year
worst/best relationship: never had anyworst/best cd: worst: whatever one the macarena is on /best: the RUSH one we listen to in jessica's car
One word describe yourself: unique
describe your room: yellow and blue
describe your family: varied, loud and outgoing
describe your appearance: brown hair and eyes
describe your social life: fun and jewish
Do you enjoy life?: yes
Are you envious of others?: def
Do you try your best?: no
What is your personal motto?: Life's too short, if you don't atop and look around once in a while you might miss it
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?: to get to the other side
When was the last time you were picked on?: probably today
...by who?: alex m
When was the last time you skipped school?: last friday and went driving with jessica
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?: fruits
Do you like the smell of rain?: rain smells?
If you had to sell your soul for one thing, what would it be?: a lacoste shirt and a shelby GT 500
If you had to rename your hometown, what would you call it?: i don't know
If you could choose the way you died, what would it be?: never!
if you had to choose the title of your autobiography, what would it be?: you think you know...but you have no idea. this is the life of heather
if you could commit one crime w/o being caught, what crime?: um...can't say
If you could read the mind of anyone you know, who would it be?: someone really smart during the AP exam
if you had to cancel one day of the week forever, which day would go?: monday. cause then there will never be a case of the mondays
Can you touch your toes?: yep
Why is E.J. the most awesome person in the whole wide world?!?: who's EJ?
2 . |
2004 27 May :: 8.40 pm
i am looking forward to summer. i am gone from everyone...
iluvBITP: we have to both have something we cannot leave without
iluvBITP: like for me a lacoste, and for you....
Drift Banana: ...
Drift Banana: a mini skirt
Drift Banana: ?
2004 25 May :: 7.31 pm
have you ever seen this side of mr. perel?
Shortystuff822: i am def sorry for starting shit with u the other day, i didnt mean to piss u off in the way it did, dont hold a grudge because i am truly trying to be a guinine friend to u lol belive it or not, and i duno what if ne thing can i do to get u to talk to me or not be mad at me....im trying to be a good person for once lol
3 . |
2004 20 May :: 9.52 pm
i need a break
just watching wonder boys, talking to some people online.
i find it weird i am just starting to become friends, or better friends with people so late in the year...
i have confirmation this weekend, skipping school tomorrow to have mental health day, seems nice doesn't it?
2004 16 May :: 7.58 pm
what'd we just go through?
what's that? japanese?
no. wonka wash spelled backwards.
2004 9 May :: 3.45 pm
i'm so random today
HandOfDoom21: hows it going heahter
iluvBITP: weird, you just signed on and i'm listening to satellite, i believe thats the song you played for me on the phone
iluvBITP: and im sick and am horse and i sound like a hooker man
iluvBITP: whatcha do yesterday?
HandOfDoom21: you should get that fixed
HandOfDoom21: go to the docs
iluvBITP: like phone sex man
iluvBITP: all i know is that i keep blowing my nose in the same napkin and its small and wet
flirtygrl202: i used adams deodorant.. i smell like a man
iluvBITP: ahh we're so random
2004 25 April :: 6.58 pm
i just applied to be a chub, here's my application:
name: heather kinzer
bday: november 5, 1988 (15 yrs old)
C: most def, come on you know that
H: not really, but i prob will be... and i feel bad for them
U: i think i am..but who knows about others
B: oh hell yes my brother just said "heather" and i said "you know what brandon? i don't really care"
3 . |
2004 21 April :: 9.16 pm
i forgot to add that my quarter was stolen by this black girl in the lunchline. she came up and asked if her taco could be rang up with my chips, and i gave a dollar ( the chips were $0.75). never got my quarter back.
2004 21 April :: 5.24 pm
just saw christina's journal and noticed she said she was watching cluless last night....HAHA i was too, i totally love that movie.
i think that i am like cher because we both have guy problems and stuff. i so want to be her. clueless has seriously changed my life.
last night i tried to help alex with his algebra, i forgot it. he was so stoned, maybe i knew this because he kept saying "heather, i'm so stoned"
oh, how i can love certain people and hate certain people at the same time
2004 7 April :: 7.49 pm
:: Music: starting line - best of me over and over in my head
well today was fun, kinda. 1 1/2 fire drills. the one in 3rd wasn't really one so i think it was a half. so brianna jsut IMed me...i;m not fucking paying 2 dollars to keep my woohu. i have LJ fool.
LiLsHorTcaKe2315: hey! u gonna pay $2 to keep ur woohu?
iluvBITP: fuck no
iluvBITP: im a cheap ass jew
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2004 1 April :: 9.19 pm
:: Mood: sick
ow my stomach
today was kind of fun. this morning was funny watching everyone try to catch the altoids and such. my depression is low right now. i'm so glad i have all my friends.
between me discovering avi's man boobs, christie sitting with her legs open and me trying to get adrian to take a peek and me and amanda and my feet english was fun. i def cant forget me stealing avi's cd player. we rock.
Stitchless1221: thats cool. put that ashley pasion is the coolest chick in the world!
today was my dads birthday and my parents anniversary so we went out for dinner, cheesecake factory. i am SOO full, i really didn't eat that much, i mean i have def eaten more before. I also ate about 3 hours ago and i still feel SOOOOOO sick, i'm practically crying.
anyways...i'm just waiting for danielle to get back online and for some other people. well off i go.
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2004 31 March :: 8.51 pm
for some reason i get random stages filled with depression, i have no reason to be depresed i just am. today i stayed for key club, woohoo! NOT. in the car i just wanted to cry, like my eyes were watering, why is this?
the only thing i am liking about this depression is my lack of appetite. maybe i will not eat a lot and will lose weight.
my mother ius bitching at me about my GPA, so it is a 3.1428 better than a 3.0 or something, and i have a 3.7 HPA....i'm just so sick of everything.
we have an economics test tomorrow, am i going to study? NOPE, all i have is my note that i've typed up.
1 . |
2004 28 March :: 9.31 pm
you really appreciate the people you have
HandOfDoom21: thats aweose
2 . |
2004 24 March :: 9.43 pm
i believe in fate. actually nothing happened tonight that would drastically change my thinking on fate, but overall, in these past few months i've noticed myself becoming more interested in it.
today was absolutely boring. i mean i had some nice, fun moments with my mom. us losing the alarm company man in our house. he was in the bathroom. i think with my getting older (obviously - cause no one gets younger) i'm getting along more with my mom. and this is a good thing.
wow. i want ice cream. i know that is extremely random but I do.
i really hate when people use abbreviations like "brb" and stuff. but now i am being hippocritical, cause i just realized i use abbreviations like that! oh my goodness.
missed out at what i think was a party at leah's last night. pretty dissapointed. I was not informed...oh well. since i wasn't there you must be wondering where i was. i was at the movies with my mom ( it seems to be a lot of bonding going on, whoa, mother/daughter bonding). i saw mystic river. it deserved the awards it won.
iluvBITP: we have no ice cream
iluvBITP: this is a very depresing time in my life
iluvBITP: i want ice cream
iluvBITP: pretend to have ice cream? i dont think you can do that
flOOrEdHeArT: i am right now
flOOrEdHeArT: i do!
i've been recently thinking about my happiness. i don't think i am that happy. i wonder if i'm missing out on life because of anxiety of sorts and my lack of self confidence. could my life be better? could it? i sometimes miss my friends when i'm with them. what happened to the HAPPY HEATHER? was there ever a HAPPY HEATHER?
this is pretty deep. interesting i can vent my feelings out into a journal, anyone can see this.
maybe i will get with him over the summer. <3
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2004 23 March :: 2.04 pm
:: Mood: lazy
well HE came back the other night, <3
we spoke and happiness just overwhelmed me and it's such a nice feeling.
i am super lazy/tired so if you're interested read my LJ:
2004 20 March :: 11.12 pm
:: Mood: confused
well tongiht i saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with a bunch of people. i just updated LJ so i dont really feel like writing..a mixture of laziness and tiredness coming over me.
well i saw this cute kid at borders tongiht after the movies. and oddly enough, i know him. it's weird that i can recognize someone after seeing them once. i think thats probably the one thing i hate about myself. it's my weird thing.
well if anyone knows a guy that has blonish ear/shoulder length hair adn big eyes, please tell me cause i somehow know him and it will drive me nuts till i figure out who he is.
1 . |
2004 19 March :: 10.58 pm
:: Mood: creative
i really love the fact that on the internet i can say things that i would never say in person. but then it makes me wonder if the internet is like a mask, my shield?
well anyways, tonight was the key club auction/talent show. some bands performed. i liked the guitar solos and the duo that wasn't the mario brothers people. AND, thanks to amy reminding me, i absolutely loved the step team...i am going to be the only white memebr of the ATL step team!!
much love <3
call me and we will def get together over break 542 2078
1 . |
2004 17 March :: 8.38 pm
i'm walking to my computer and i walk by my parents room... i look in...my younger brother is in there watching tv and just jumping aroung like a little boy...but he's wearing my mom's sandals!
should i be concerned?!
1 . |
2004 25 February :: 9.19 pm
new journal on live journal swamp_inthe_sky
i still will update woohu
much love to all
2004 22 February :: 8.17 pm
Today I went to mass!!! And for those who don't know why this is such a big deal....I'm jewish! We did some mystery bus ride thing for youth group which involved mass and it was crazy!
Anyways...Not much happened at school, we had family in town this weekend. Yesterday i went to Atlantic Ave and ate at Splendid Blenders ( something liek that...) and we walked around and played tourist ( fun fun :)
Then Friday night, I seem to be doing my weekend backwards, I went to the mall with Jessica, I bought a shirt, no biggie.
Well, I think I am going to go do something with my family.
2004 8 February :: 12.47 pm
Last night was natalia's party. Much fun everyone <3 <3 I have many pictures, all form the pact Christine, Amy and i made of not dancing. We were the couch paparazzi and have hot pics of the dancers...Liz is a hot dancer. Natalia has a hot ass, Sam grabs Liz's ass, and up-close-and-personal with (a drunk ?) Christine. Awwwm.
I had so much fun you guys Rachel and me walking Liz home with rachel looking like a prostitute with Amara's shoes, and Freddy vs Jason with Amara saying how stupid the lady in the beginning is while I was soo scared.
Last night after he party I slept at Amy's. We froze during the night and had 2 breakfasts. I have soccer in about 30 minutes and am gonna go see my clean doggy
Much <3 Love
2 . |
2004 30 January :: 7.21 pm
AaaAAAAaaHHHhHHHhH, my brother!!! I know siblings fight and what-not, but I seriously am getting sick of the constant complaining and non-stop whining.
I went to the Boys today, that market place kinda near school, is was so cute, all farmers market-ish.
It's so nice to have a weekend...I had a math and chemistry test today... AAhh
Anyways, tomorrow is my make-up soccer game for the one that got rained out...but guess what? Tomorrow is supposed to be all rain, haha, then the superbowl is sunday... we're going to these people's house in coral springs, I hope it's worthwhile.
much <3 love,
OH YEAH I GOT A NEW AIM AND LIVEJOURNAL (INCASE WOOHU DOESN'T WORK) IT IS iluvBITP
2004 29 January :: 8.56 pm
:: Mood: depressed
Today was a half day and due to the fact i hadn't started my economics project...or studied for math and chem I did that all day. i feel pretty confident about stats and chem, I hope I do ok.
My mother is killing me...she keeps asking me to do thingd cause she is "too tired", I'm getting sick. of it.
I was thinking about college about 10 minutes ago and I'm going to be so lost ~ in all apects.
Danielle had a nice conversation, very meaningful...thanks sweetie.
Tomorrow is Friday, I want to get my haircut, maybe do something spontaneous...
1 . |
2004 25 January :: 2.55 pm
Yesterday I went to the mall with natalia, I got a shirt and a pair of pants fROm american eagle. I should have boughten more though...
Last night I babysat 3 litlte boys. They were the cutest kids ever!!Blue eyes, blonde hair.
I am seriously think I hate my brother. Like this morning I woke up this morning to his door slamming, so I asked him why he slammed it, so I was like yeah, it didn't slam on its own. and he flips out at me and starts screaming for me to get the hell out of his room...woot woot, im gonna kill him...
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