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spud

:: 2019 3 January :: 6.40pm
:: Mood: excited

recorded on 12.29.18
I'm still absolutely baffled that this thing is really happening, but it's rad as hell, and I don't care who knows it.

POD 2

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spud

:: 2018 31 December :: 1.39pm
:: Mood: jubilant

recorded on 12.28.18

POD 1

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spud

:: 2018 31 December :: 12.14pm
:: Music: Eric Clapton - Old Love

Happy New Year's Eve!
Greetings and welcome to the ending of the end of the year!

I would love to say 2018 was a momentous and eventful year, whether the events be good or bad, but in truth - not much happened. I rode my bike a lot. Paid someone to paint my house. Hosted the shit outta MCYPAA. Played a fair amount of drums.

Nothing earth-shattering.

Weight loss was probably the one goal I had for the year that failed utterly. Oh well. I tried hard. I'm giving myself a break for a bit.

Moving forward, I'm going to practice being a bit more selective about the things I say yes to. I keep booking myself for all this shit, and just wearing myself out. Expect a lot more music and recording stuff, and a little less AA service. I'm not quitting AA or anything, but I was a busy little beaver this year, and it was a bit too much. Went to a few meetings this weekend that I haven't hit in awhile. It was refreshing to see a lot of new faces in those places, and nice to reconnect with some people I hadn't seen in awhile.

One new thing I'm starting is a podcast!



That's what brought me to woohu today, actually. As I was sitting here thinking "fuck, where the hell am I going to host this thing?" it struck me that I ALREADY HAVE A WEB PAGE (spoiler alert, it's this one). I also remembered that I had a dummy gmail account I made like 10 years ago. Some college friends were going to be making a webseries, and they cast me to play one of the characters. The project never got off the ground, but his google presence lives on, and "Dustin" has 15GB of drive storage just sitting there empty.

So, thanks to the magnanimous Mr. Nash, and our good Mr. Andy, I would also like to welcome you to the new home of the as-yet-unnamed podcast I'm starting. When will there be updates? How will we track metrics and monetize our listenership? What will we do when we run out of storage on Dustin's google drive? These are all questions I will disregard for now and leave for my future self to contend with. SUCK IT, FUTURE ME!!!

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spud

:: 2018 20 December :: 7.54am

crossposting generates hits, right? gimme dat viral content!
Tried breathing while I was putting on my shoes last night, and now my back is sore #sothisis32 CHEERS!

Maybe it's morbid to talk about, but at one point, my plan was to be dead by 30. I don't know, it was a nice round number that seemed so unimaginably OLD when I picked it. The concept of "live fast; die young" was quite romantic at the time. I am very grateful that the universe has something better in mind for me, and that I'm able to share my bonus time with you fine folks. It's all gravy from here on out! or icing on the cake...

Okay, those two metaphors sound gross when you mix them. But you get what I'm saying ;)

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spud

:: 2018 14 December :: 12.45am

I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A LONG TIME.

WE ARE ALL ~very~ SURPRISED.

don't worry, life goes on :)

and honestly, it's not so bad. got some exciting stuff on the horizon. been very busy lately. but some good changes happening.

i realize that is frustratingly vague. even i will read this later and go, "what the fuck was i even talking about? worthless gibberish, all of it."

at least we'll be in that boat together, my friend.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 17 October :: 8.24pm
:: Music: Panic at the Disco- One of the Drunks

Every weekend with your friends/ Every weekday when it ends/ Damn it's all good, I guess
Orange juice, pour out half the carton
Grey Goose, pour it, get it started
Good times, remedy your sorrows
Baptize, don't worry about tomorrow
Shake it up, shake it up, now it's time to dive in
Share a cup, share a cup, now you're screw-driving
Every weekend with your friends
Every weekday when it ends
Damn it's all good, I guess
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the
Never dry
Every day you're thirsty, bourbon high
Sip up 'til you're tipsy, night's young
Searching for a feeling, big fun
Dancing with the demons, Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit
Grips you like a pistol, wet the whistle, wet the whistle
Abyss of ice crystals
Every weekend with your friends
Every weekday when it ends
Damn it's all good, I guess
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Welcome to the club
Round and round and round
And round and round and round
Damn it's all good
Round and round and round
And round and round and round
Damn it's all good
I guess this is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club
This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks
Welcome to the club
Welcome to the club

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 2 October :: 9.24pm
:: Music: Houses- Fast Talk

Karma's just a different word for bad luck
Me and my best friends cruising down West End Street
Hiding from cops and driving circles around the block all week
All of my friends died out on West End Street
They say we're born to die young
But we're just trying to live in peace

So maybe heaven is a ghetto with no bad blocks
Shangri-La dealers at the bus stops
And maybe god is just a cop that we can fast talk
So if you're guilty and you know it, put your hands up
'Cause karma's just a different
Word for bad luck
And what if death is just another pair of handcuffs
Then we'd better run
Then we'd better run

All of our friends went crazy on LSD
Sailing their cars through the big bright city streets
And everyone who knows our name
Says that we ain't ever gonna change
They say we're born to die young
But we're trying to find a better way
They say we're born to die young
But we're trying to find a better way

Maybe heaven is a ghetto with no bad blocks
Shangri-La dealers at the bus stops
And maybe god is just a cop that we can fast talk
So if you're guilty and you know it, put your hands up
'Cause karma's just a different word for bad luck
And what if death is just another pair of handcuffs
Then we'd better run
Then we'd better run

What's up?
Hey, what's up, man?
Just sitting here thinking... I'm gonna be 32 years old tomorrow. And I feel half completely alive... and half completely dead

We hope and we pray day after day
They say we're born to die young
But we're gonna find a better way
We hope and we pray day after day
They say we're born to die young
But we're gonna find a better way

So maybe heaven is a ghetto with no bad blocks
Shangri-La dealers at the bus stops
And maybe god is just a cop that we can fast talk
So if you're guilty and you know it, put your hands up
'Cause karma's just different word for bad luck
And what if death is just another pair of handcuffs
Then we'd better run
Then we'd better run
Then we'd better run

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 19 September :: 8.09pm
:: Music: Death cab for cutie- gold rush

It seems I never stop losing you\ As every dive becomes something new\ And all our ghosts get swept away\ It didn't used to be this way
Gold rush)
They're digging for gold in my neighborhood
(Gold rush)
Where all the old buildings stood
(Gold rush)
And they keep digging it down and down
(Gold rush)
So that their cars can live underground
(Gold rush)
The swinging of a wrecking ball
(Gold rush)
Through these lathe and plaster walls
(Gold rush)
Is letting all the shadows free
(Gold rush)
The ones I wished still followed me

Change
(Followed me, followed me)
Please don't change
Stay
(Followed me, followed me)
Stay the same

(Gold rush)
I remember a winter's night
(Gold rush)
When we kissed beneath the street lamp light
(Gold rush)
Outside our bar near the record store
(Gold rush)
That have been condos for a year or more
(Gold rush)
And now that our haunts have taken flight
(Gold rush)
And been replaced with construction sites
(Gold rush)
Oh, how I feel like a stranger here
(Gold rush)
Searching for something that's disappeared
(Gold rush)

They're digging for gold in my neighborhood
(Gold rush)
For what they say is the greater good
(Gold rush)
But all I see is a long goodbye
(Gold rush)
A requiem for a skyline
(Gold rush)
It seems I never stop losing you
(Gold rush)
As every dive becomes something new
(Gold rush)
And all our ghosts get swept away
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)

Change
(Be this way, be this way)
Please don't change
Stay
(Be this way, be this way)
Stay the same

Cranes
(Be this way, be this way)
Devour the light
Strange
(Be this way, be this way)
Appetites

I've ascribed these monuments
A false sense of permanence
I've placed faith in geography
To hold you in my memory
(Gold rush)
I'm sifting through these wreckage piles
(Gold rush)
Through the rubble of bricks and wires
(Gold rush)
Looking for something I'll never find
(Gold rush)
Looking for something I'll never find
(Gold rush)

They're digging for gold in my neighborhood
(Gold rush)
Where all the old buildings stood
(Gold rush)
And they keep digging it down and down
(Gold rush)
So that their cars can live underground
(Gold rush)
It seems I never stop losing you
(Gold rush)
As every dive becomes something new
(Gold rush)
And all our ghosts get swept away
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way

(Change, please don't change)
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Stay, stay the same)
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Gold rush)
It didn't used to be this way
(Change, please don't change)
(Gold rush)
(Gold rush)
(Gold rush)
(Gold rush)
(Stay, stay the same)
(Gold rush)
(Gold rush)

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spud

:: 2018 18 June :: 8.15am

link to article

It took some digging through sensationalist headlines to get straight to the source, but I'm glad I did. This is a very well-written account, explicit in its intent, which is not malicious. Some parts of this hit closer to home for me than others, but all of it is far too common a story. We could all stand to be better to each other, and to ourselves. How often we are held captive by our fears.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 4 May :: 8.04pm
:: Music: The Greatest Showman- The Other Side

Take your walls and start 'em breaking
Right here, right now
I put the offer out
I don't want to chase you down
I know you see it
You run with me
And I can cut you free
Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in
So trade that typical for something colorful
And if it's crazy, live a little crazy
You can play it sensible, a king of conventional
Or you can risk it all and see
Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play
'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride
It'll take you to the other side
'Cause you can do like you do
Or you can do like me
Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key
Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly
It'll take you to the other side
Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in
Well I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen
So thanks, but no
I think I'm good to go
'Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in
Now I admire you, and that whole show you do
You're onto something, really it's something
But I live among the swells, and we don't pick up peanut shells
I'll have to leave that up to you
Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play
'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride
I don't need to see the other side
So go and do like you do
I'm good to do like me
Ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key
Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine
I don't need to see the other side
Now is this really how you like to spend your days?
Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays
If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town
Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns
But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little
Just let me give you the freedom to dream
And it'll wake you up and cure your aching
Take your walls and start 'em breaking
Now that's a deal that seems worth taking
But I guess I'll leave that up to you
Well it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly
So what percentage of the show would I be taking?
Fair enough, you'd want a piece of all the action
I'd give you seven, we could shake and make it happen
I wasn't born this morning, eighteen would be just fine
Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime
Fifteen
I'd do eight
Twelve
Maybe nine
Ten
Don't you wanna get away to a whole new part you're gonna play
'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride
To the other side
So if you do like I do
So if you do like me
Forget the cage, 'cause we know how to make the key
Oh, damn! Suddenly we're free to fly
We're going to the other side
So if you do like I do
(To the other side)
So if you do like me
(We're going to the other side)
'Cause if we do we're going to the other side
We're going to the other side

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 20 April :: 10.35pm
:: Music: Say Amen- Panic! at the Disco

And every morning when I wake up/ I wanna be who I couldn't say I'd ever been/ But it's so much more than I ever was/ If every night I go to sleep knowing
Been traveling in packs that I can't carry anymore
Been waiting for somebody else to carry me
There's nothing else there for me at my door
All the people I know aren't who they used to be
And if I try to change my life one more day
There would be nobody else to save
And I can't change into a person I don't wanna be, so
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
And every morning when I wake up
I wanna be who I couldn't say I'd ever been
But it's so much more than I ever was
If every night I go to sleep knowing
That I gave everything that I had to give
Then it's all I could've asked for
I've been standing up beside everything I've ever said, but
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
If I had one more day to wish
If I had one more day
To be better than I could have ever been
If I had one more day to wish
If I had one more day
I could be better, but, baby
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
I pray for the wicked on the weekend
Mama, can I get another amen?
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh, it's Saturday night, yeah
Swear to God, I ain't ever gonna repent
Mama, can I get another amen?

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 12 April :: 10.04am
:: Music: Robert DeLong feat. K. Flay- Favorite Color is Blue

I'm thinking of changing my name, thinking of wrecking a home/ 'Cause loving and hating are one and the same/ And I'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone
Locked up, naked with socks
I'm watching the phone ring.
It's making me angry.
It's making me mad.
Maxed out, minimum wage
My brain is a time bomb.
I'm saying goodbye, mom,
I'll see you again.
Striking a pose.
Smiling in photos without any reason
With people that I'll never know.
I'm out of control, live in a fictional prose.
I took an oath, it's killing me though
'Cause I don't believe in the things that I do.
And now my favorite color is blue.
And now my favorite color is blue.
And now my favorite
Roped up, rot in a cage
I'm having a breakdown.
Drinking at a playground, tequila for one
Too short, walk in the streets, I'm hating my haircut.
You say that you're here, but
You live on the Sun.
Burning a kite
I'm at a funeral, nothing unusual
Baby, I do what I like
Looking to fight, smoking a blunt and a pipe
Taking a bite, worm in the apple
I knew it would happen, 'cause honey the vermin survive.
Swerve to the side, been driving all night.
I'm thinking of changing my name, thinking of wrecking a home
'Cause loving and hating are one and the same
And I'm feeling like everyone's feeling alone.
I'm just looking for something to soften the blow.
A second inside of the truth
I don't see light 'cause
Now my favorite color is blue.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2018 29 March :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Fall Out Boy- Wilson

Woke up on the wrong side of the paradise/ So when I say I'm sorry I'm late I wasn't showing up at all/ I really mean I didn't plan on showing up at all
I was I was I was
Gonna say something that would solve all our problems
But then I got drunk and I forgot what I was talking about
I forgot what I was talking about
Don't you, don't you, don't you know
There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody
There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you
Than to be loved by everybody but you, but you

If I can get my shit together
I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again
Never see any of you again

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

Woke up on the wrong side of the paradise
So when I say I'm sorry I'm late I wasn't showing up at all
I really mean I didn't plan on showing up at all
Don't you, don't you, don't you know
I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended
I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended with you
I miss the days when I pretended with you, with you

If I can get my shit together
I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again
Never see any of you again

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

If we hadn't done this thing, I think I'd be a medicine man
So I could get high on my own supply whenever I can
I became such a strange shape, such a strange shape from trying to fit in
Yeah, I became such a strange shape, such a strange shape

I hope the roof flies off and I get blown out into space
I always make such expensive mistakes
I know it's just a number but you're the 8th wonder
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color
I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color

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spud

:: 2018 24 March :: 2.39pm

I TALKED AT PEOPLE AND IT WAS SORTA FUNNY

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mbenznut

:: 2018 5 January :: 6.19pm

What happened to your eye?

I was attacked by a figgy pudding while having spontaneous sexual intercourse.

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mbenznut

:: 2017 29 October :: 4.07pm

I'm not scared. I'm rationally concerned.

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spud

:: 2016 5 November :: 12.49am
:: Mood: whoa, dude...
:: Music: the wallflowers

since last we met
yo. i'm still here.



I suppose a lot has happened in 2016 up to this point, and I should probably catch you up.

I didn't wind up getting that house. I did wind up getting out of my parents' basement. I was very fortunate to find an awesome roommate on craigslist. She owns her own home, and I rent the back bedroom. The price is right. We have fun. We eat food and watch tv and shit. I got super lucky to find this place, and appreciate that I get to live here. I didn't realize how much it bothered me living at dad's until I got out and felt this immense weight lifted off of my chest. That's not to say it's always sunshine and rainbows and shit here... but it's a lot better. I'm much more relaxed. More comfortable being myself. It took a few months being here to allow myself to ease into it. It's a good fit, for right now. It won't be forever, but it's nice to not be in a hurry to go anywhere. And she's not in a hurry to get me out of here, which is also nice.



I'm still single. Cold and alone, forever probably maybe. I still vascillate rapidly between deeply longing to be in a relationship and realizing that bachelorhood and freedom is actually pretty fucking rad. I mostly just want something warm to cuddle with. Maybe I should get a dog. I did do the 20-10-5 thing.

*spends half an hour looking for it*

... and now I can't remember what I did with it. I may have thrown it out. the big takeaway I can recall from it is that I'm shallower than I'd like to believe. I wanted to think that a sense of humor or intellectual stimulation would be the most important - and they were important, they definitely made the list of 20 (it was actually really hard to think of 20 things without being redundant) - but if you boil it down ... i have to be attracted to the person physically. have to. don't much care if anyone else thinks they're hot, but I damn well better think so. Otherwise there's no point to the rest of it. I wanted to think that I'm above all that physical superficiality, but apparently i'm not.

i have a "new" (year-old) lunchbag. it is gigantic and awesome. kathy got it for me. after all that bitching i did about her, she buys the best gifts. and i am an asshole. but the zipper works great

I still don't eat very healthy or exercise much. however i recently quit smoking tobacco. it's only been 11 days, so it's still a little premature to call it quits for good, officially, but this is the longest stretch of time i've gone without nicotine in my bloodstream in 10 years. it's kind of a big deal.

also, i bought myself a drum set:




I've been banging on that thing quite a bit lately.

like - all the freaking time. which is awesome.

i also built a drum. it's purdy:







It's at dad's house. I gave it to him because i wasn't crazy about how it sounded, and he didn't have a wood snare. he likes it, so i'm glad it worked out and found a good home. i probably would've warmed up to it over time. it didn't sound bad ... just not how i expected/hoped.

prior to that, i built a bookshelf and a nightstand for my bedroom. they turned out well. oak plywood is fucking expensive as balls. but it looks nice, and is rock solid. glued and screwed together. sanded and polyurethaned. should last a good long while. not perfect, but suitable for my needs.




I did wind up getting that 'promotion' at work. so now i have my own office, a company phone, and a slight (very slight) pay increase. it's a lot more responsibility - i'm running quality control for our entire plant - but it's not terrible all the time. i show up, do stuff, go home, and at the end of the week they deposit money in my bank account. it's a thing.

the basement audio lab has been put on hiatus for the time being. the other guys got busy with life and work and stuff and were unable to commit the time and energy they felt was necessary to continue the project. i can respect that they didn't want to half-ass it. and if things slow down, we'll pick it back up again.

in the meantime, i'm starting on a new project with different people. we will see what happens, but at least i'm still playing. there wasn't even that much down time, and i didn't have to go out looking for something, it came to me. so hopefully that's an indication that i'm supposed to be doing it. we don't have anything online yet.

Here's where the basement audio lab left off, if you'd like to hear what things sounded like right before we hit pause:

RIGHT CLICK - OPEN IN NEW TAB MOTHERFUCKER

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koalalady

:: 2016 24 October :: 4.51pm

We have got to get creative here, folks.

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skife

:: 2016 22 August :: 5.33pm

I don't feel like adulting today.

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rayray

:: 2016 22 April :: 12.14pm

Today marks one month since the accident. I am finally feeling relief after going to the chiropractor. I am still recovering though. Occasionally I have brain fog, or things get fuzzy and I have a hard time focusing. Everyday I am even more grateful that my baby was unharmed in the accident. Last week was the first time that she had even asked questions about the accident. I knew it was going to happen, and I didn't press her after the accident because I was waiting for her to be ready. After the accident she asked what happened one time. And it was literally the first thing out of her mouth after we stopped. From that point on, all she would say was "I hate that lady's car for hitting us. She's a bad driver. I hate her driving". I would always reassure her that the only thing that mattered was that we were okay. I have been trying hard to not harbor anger over the whole ordeal. I am pissed that she wrecked my car. I am pissed that I am still recovering. But the fact that even after all that, my child is okay, makes me not want to hang onto those feelings of anger or hatred. Reagan could have been killed, or severely injured. She could have had cuts ALL over her body from all the glass. She could have been covered in glass, but for some reason she wasn't.

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spud

:: 2016 22 February :: 9.50pm

ancestry.com
"What kind of white are you?"

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mbenznut

:: 2016 14 January :: 5.16pm

Nothing like responding to a war chant with big swinging dicks.

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mbenznut

:: 2016 1 January :: 6.21pm

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

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mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.45pm

“You look—like you got a facial from a smurf.”

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mbenznut

:: 2015 9 December :: 8.34pm

“You know what I like after sex?”

“What?”

“Ice cream.”

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liz

:: 2015 12 October :: 11.37pm

I registered for classes today. Going back to school for a degree in library science. Im pretty excited bout this change. It's gonna take a long time but I'm pretty thrilled about the thought of getting out of retail and I think library science is something that I'll really enjoy. And I'll at least know that I'm taking steps to be happy in the long run.

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mbenznut

:: 2015 13 September :: 9.26pm

When was the last time you went to a family reunion where the police and fire department showed up?

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moomoo

:: 2015 26 July :: 1.02pm

Ella is 7 weeks old already, dont know where the time goes. I went back to work, which was lot harder then I thought. I know Jordan will take good care of her, but so hard to be away from her that long. Took Ella camping for the first time this week. She did really well and loved spending time with family. Her jaundice has cleared up so no more worrying about that. Her newborn pictures turned out great. She's sleeping 7 hours a night already. Shadow is adjusting very well. Me and Jordan went on our first date night last night and pretty much just talked about Ella. Lol. Loving this new chapter of my life.

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moomoo

:: 2015 2 July :: 3.40pm

Ella is finally here. She came 2 week and a couple days earlier. She is a tiny little thing, but so cute. Shes doing well for the most part, besides coming down with jaundice a couple of times now. Doctor doesnt seem to be concerned so trying not to worry. Starting back on the bili blanket tonight. She is a happy baby most of the time and sleeping well for the most part. I got 5hrs last night :). I love watching Jordan wit her, she totally has him wrapped around her finger already. I was looking forward to all my time off work, but quite bored. I have no idea how people dont work. My house has never been so clean and organized. Ella got newborn picutes last weekend, I cant wait till we get them back. I love being a mom. Never knew I could love someone so much. I love just watching her. So excited for this next journey in my life.

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moomoo

:: 2015 3 June :: 4.59pm

Ella could be here any day now, I'm so excited. Dialed to 3, baby sitting low, lost mucous plug, effaced, thinned out, and softened. Been having contractions on and off all week. I just want something to get stronger or water to break. I'm so ready to meet out little girl. Jordan been working lots of 0T to save up for maternity leave. Got the nursery all ready. Having my big family baby shower this weekend, only a few things I need right away. Feeling ready :)

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