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Falling Without Wings

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siyumai

:: 2009 14 April :: 5.13pm

i made a new woohu. i feel like i've betrayed this one.
the new one is devindanie.
goodbye.

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2008 8 June :: 11.00pm

sooo todays my birthday. i didn't do anything. i didn't even have a party.
my parents gave me $200 and they're going to go get me a gps for my car next week.
pretty cool i guess..

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2008 30 April :: 11.48am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: pieces - sum 41

seriously?
so, like i was saying.
april 24th would have been mine and rocko's anniversary.
we haven't talked since that date.
i guess we're pretty much over now. it just kind of sucks. like i wasted two years of my fucking life over some abusive asshole.
wow, i fail at life.

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2008 26 March :: 1.56pm

haven't updated in quite a long time.
i'm working out now regularly at the gym.

in less than a month, it would have been mine and rockos two year anniversary.
i guess we're going to try to give it another shot..
god knows how that's going to go.

i'm really tired actually.

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2008 4 January :: 11.11pm

i'm going to steal all of rockos pokemon and put them on mine. aha.
yeahhh boyyyee.

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 23 June :: 9.54pm

so. yesterday, was terrible.
i went out to the point.. started drinking around like 5 or 6.
then danielle took me to my house, then to her house, then back out to the point.
started drinking some more.
rocko made up this bitch ass game
me and alex played it for a long time
for his graduation, one of the things i got him was a corona glass set. there were two shot glasses and a pint glass, which he's been using ever since =]
so up until last night, he hasn't even touched the shot glasses.
{oooh, thinking about this makes my tummy hurt}
we broke them in, basically.
i had captain and he had jagermeister.
we did a couple rounds, and then kept playing rocko's game.
i kinda don't remember that much, since we broke in the shot glasses like, eight times in a row =] if ya catch my drift

apparently i took a couple pictures! in the majority, i am horribly disfigured, so they'll be deleted off my camera.. but here's two that i like =]
enjoy home`z

TRUX & I



ALEXANDER YOSEF HASSELHOFF KERN {a.k.a alex} & i


love those kids



OH! & what's even better..
me & stacey argued today.
let's just say that there's finally closure to a friendship that died a long time ago

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 20 June :: 10.19pm

i kinda find it funny that, two years ago, i was basically obsessed with eli. now he's a good friend of mine, and when i see him i don't even think about that night.
i don't talk to brittany anymore either, which is a relief. she's become such a faggot, honestly.
i don't really talk to anyone.
me and stacey got close for awhile, and then she fucked that up by being a stupid cunt.
oh well,
people change.

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 20 June :: 6.11am

there's a couple pics at end of post


i'M LOViN LiFE..
i'm getting my license in august, i've decided. =]
recently was alex's grad party..
i came, i saw, and i conquered that bioooootch.
actually, i got some vodka and orange juice and cruised my way through the night, pretty much extremely happy.
i showed up on pain pills, which nobody seemed to notice lmfao.
i basically hung out with lindsay and kaitlynn the entire night. me and rocko, eh, fought. but oh well, who doesn't fight?? i still love `im =]
alex and me got into it too.. well, it was more, him screaming at me, but i left after he started {he was blitzed}, cause the day was about him, so i wasn't gonna yell back.
ya dig?!
MY BiRTHDAY..
june 8th..
i didn't even drink, but ya know,
i had fun. party at the house for family.
then over to danielles to see the friends.
we had a little fire..
it was like,
rocko, harold, danielle, allison, chris, yeager, alex, jimmy cribbs, and i'm pretty sure somebody else, but i can't think of who at the moment.

i was in the pool within like, 20 minutes.
rocko ended up skinny-dipping, which, ya know, whatever floats your boat.
but i stayed clothed, thank you.

oh! heather got married! may 5th, it was definitely beautiful =]



kt and me, at alex's graduation. i was starting to feel the absolut by this point.





me and lindsay, like 5 minutes later. i look trashed, but definitely not.




a decent picture of me and rocko. this is december 06, right before the killswitch concert. i was definitely trashed, off like, okay. don't laugh. one shot of everclear, two bears, and a couple drinks of captain morgan. i know, i know! lightweight!



the wedding! my favourite picture! i love it. heather - nicole - me.
gorrrrrrrrrrgeous sisters, if i do say so myself.



buttttttttttttttttt
hopefully i'll be on here more and whatnot, now that it's summer.
=P
love ya!

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 24 April :: 6.14pm


it's the little things.
the things that always go unnoticed.

i love how neither of us are ever in control of our emotions.
and at the same time i hate it.

i love how he has all this power,
and his touch is so gentle.

i love winning wrestling matches with him,
even though he's a sore loser.

i love how we can talk about pokemon
for hours.

i love how when we watched the notebook
he looked at me and smiled at the cheesy parts.

i love how he sings to me in that awful,
high-pitched kind of voice that makes me happy everytime.

i love how no matter what,
he always looks out for my best interest

i love drinking with him, because when i say i love you,
he looks at me and smiles so soft, because he believes it

and even though we argue.
alot.
he should believe it.
because i do love him.
and i wouldn't trade this last year.
not for anything.

april 24, 2006

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 20 March :: 11.14am

i'm deleting all of my old entries.
i was an idiot.

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2007 19 March :: 12.23am

im in love with a stripper

Cut me


siyumai

:: 2005 28 September :: 1.26pm

Well. I broke up with David because he was being a complete ass at homecoming.. I was hanging out with Matt and Steven and he's all like "Ooh, come make out with me in the corner!" and I, you know, WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS.. but yeah..

So that was on a Saturday, we broke up the next Monday. That was like on the 19th [the monday] And last weekend, on Saturday [24th], I went to Brittanys birthday party. Shaggy lives right next door to Davids [other David] so I just kept going over there to hang out. hang on. i gots another journal, let me pull the entry from there.

[long. lmfao.]

Friday, woke up, went to school, had pictures, bleh bleh bleh. Usual emo shit. And then like.. I went home.. I'm trying to remember all this shit. I went up to the Point with Rudolph and Brittany and we hung out, I left my books on the bus.. it was funny. Then David wanted to ask me out.. AGAIN.. and I kinda laughed. Brittany spent the night at my house..

Saturday, we wake up at about 12-ish? Dont know. And then I get a shower, get ready, and Brittany leaves at around a quarter after 3 and gets stuff ready for the party. Then at around 5, I left for Rudolphs house because thats where we were having the party thingy. Well, as I was pulling up so was Brittany and Steven so I'm like.. Okay.. and yeah. Then Ashley and Brittany Floyd show up, then Bryce shows up, then Phillip and then Dino.. Oh, and Ruthie and Jackie and Cody and Justin and Kevin. Lol.

Well then it takes us 2 hours to put up our tent and Bryce didn't get his put up until about 11 at night.. both Keiffers came over and hung out alot and I formally introduced myself to Jake.. lmfao. We were in McDonalds and I sat down next to him and said, "Hi, I don't know you." and he holds out his hand and goes "Hi, I'm Jake!" and I'm like "Im Devi!" and I just sat back lykwoa, I formally know Kieffer now. Lmfao.

But yea, we walked to McDonalds at like 10 p and Anthony calls me up and he's like "Im coming!" or something, so I'm like 'Okay<3' so we go to McDonalds, get some food.. (oh yea! Shannon was there too! and omar came for a little bit) and then I introduced myself to Jake and we left.. then Jake got out a knife and put a spider on it and chased me and Brittany down the road like gay people.. it was cool. But my pants were falling down and I almost tripped because I was laughing so hard.

Then like we walked back and about 11.30 p Anthony shows up and then Joel, Jarj, Elijah (ee-lie.. wtf) and Shaggy, Dipshit, and Harold show up and bombard Davids garage.. then David J and Norm steal Ashley Floyds coat and burn it and we all go down there and blah blah blah erksfjkljdsnfkfd.. then David J and Norm and the Floyds left and it was about 1 and it was just Shaggy, Bryce, Elijah and me in the garage and Elijah picked up Brittanys mixed CD and put it in Dino's CD player and I was like "First one is Beck, skip it." and he smiled and he's like "Yea, I'll make sure I do." or something..

Then as I walked out of the garage (Because Joel and Jarj were coming in), I bumped into Elijah and he's like "Oh, I'm sorry!!" and I'm like "Oh, Its cool." and he held out his hand and was all "Im Elijah." and I was like "Oh, you're Elijah? I'm Devi." and it was sweet. Then I went in the tent all by myself.. then Elijah suddenly appeared at the opening and he's all "Do you mind if I come in?" and I was like "Umm.. nope, come on in!" and he came in and layed there and started asking me things and I was like 'OMGHOT.' .. then Jarj came in and he's like "Ooh, do you wanna go smoke?!" and he's all like "Okay, give me a few minutes.." and this is when Kevin was in the tent and Kevin said, "Do you smoke often?" And Elijah was like "No.. this is only my fifth time.. .. .. .today." and me and Kevin just sat there like WTF, I kinda giggled but got pissed at the same time.

Then a little while later, Elijah came back and he's like "So, you wanna go for a walk?" and I'm like "Oh hells yeah. <3" then Kevin comes with us, but we go down to the bay.. and me and Elijah just start talking about stupid stuff, then Kevin walks a little bit away and I'll later find out he's CUTTING HIMSELF.. but yeah, Elijah is like "So are you here with anyone?" And I was like "Uhh.. huh?" and he said, "Like a boyfriend." and I was like "Nope, no boyfriend."
"So you don't have a boyfriend?"
"Noppers." .. Yeah, it was cool. And he's all like 'So what do you like to do for fun?' and I was all like "..Nothing at all. I don't have fun." and he's like "Oh, thats not cool." and I started rubbing my legs because I only had boxers on and a hoodie, and he's like "Are you cold? We can go back if your cold." and I was like "No, its fine, its fine." It was cold though, but I wanted to stay out there with him.
Then here comes Dino running "OMG OMG OMG I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU" and .. yeah, whatever. Then he makes us go back up to Rudolphs house.. ugh.
Then Elijah disappears for awhile, and he shows up again at like 2.30 a or something around there.. I was laying in the tent and he comes in there again and he's like "Come walk with me again." and I'm all like .. "Okay!" and he takes me up to the front porch and we sit on the steps.. I sat next to him at first and then he's all like "Sit here.." like, on the step below him, you know? So I sat there and he all wrapped his arms around me and we're literally about to kiss and then Phillip and Anthony come running and they're cracking up and he's like "YOU TWO ARE RELATED.."

I.. oh my god. Oh, my fucking god. But not by blood, I figured that out. Not by blood, at fucking all. But I'll probably never see him again because I never see him in school and the only reason I seen him at Brittanys party was because of Joel.. but he's mexican! Must see again.

But then I ran away, laughing so hard and Elijah just disappeared, and I'll later learn that Justin told him to leave or something.. that kinda pissed me off because I wanted to talk to him. I don't give a shit lmfao. But yeah.. -le sigh- that was the last time I seen Elijah..

But yea, then around that time or so, me and Brittany and Ruthie go up to Shaggys' treehouse and have some strawberry that supposedly tastes like koolaid, which it didn't. But them Mumf made me taste his black velvet and I ended up drinking the entire thing.. and got buzzed. It was only half a flask so there wasn't enough in there to get me drunk, I got sad. Then Phillip started crying because Brittany took one drink of the vodka and one tiny drink of the black velvet, and he didn't even fucking care about me, but what the fuck ever dude.

Then at around 4, me, Kevin, and Bryce go down to the bay because I have to keep Kevin up to go to work at 7.. we start a mini-bonfire and crap.. it was pretty cool.

And then as we're walking back at around 5, we see cop cars. Kevin goes, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.." so we go back to Rudolphs house and theres cops walking out of the driveway going "YOU NEED TO GET UP HERE AND SHUT UP.." like, wtf. We weren't even there, how were we being loud?! Plus, Kevin is 19, he's a legal adult and shit. Then we see the cops walking over to Keiffers house.. where Steven is. Drinking and smoking. We're all like, "oh my fucking god oh my fucking god oh my fucking god.." well.. me and Brittany anyways. They go to the treehouse and go "If you're up there, you need to come down or you WILL be arrested!!" then we see them go up, and come back down with Steven. I almost started crying, because it looked like he was in handcuffs. He had a concealed weapon, weed, and he was drinking underage. But luckily, today I found out that he only was made to walk home, they didn't pat him down or anything! He is SO fucking lucky. Cause it was an illegal search. lol.

Then Shaggy and Mumf, who were up there originally, show up and we're like "WTF! WHY'D YOU LEAVE FUCKING STEVEN UP THERE BY HIMSELF?!" and he's like "oh, steven was sleeping!" but it all turned out good in the end..

aaaaaaaaand umm.. around then, everyone started to lay down in our tent because we ruined Bryces, so EVERYONE was in our tent. Even Jarj, and he wasn't even supposed to be with us, he was supposed to be over Keiffers. Lmfao. Omg, speaking of him. Shaggy was annoying me so fucking bad!! It was like 5-6 a and he kept grabbing me and tickling me, then my boxers would kind of ride up and he pulled the blankets off me when they were like that and he's like "Jarj! Look!" and I seen him smile and go "Yeahh." and i was like omgwtf. He kept shooting me with the bebe gun but it bounced off my hoodie and I laughed at him. Then at around 7 (we were still up) Kevin was like "Okay, gotta go to work.." and I was like "Noo, stay here.." .. he was soo fucking comfy. I was using him as a human pillow.. like I was laying up against him and he had his arms around me and it was cool.






[ end ]

lol. But yeah, I seen Eely yesterday. It was fucking awesome. Phillip skipped to A lunch and sat with me and Matt, and suddenly here comes Jarj running up and I seen he had my white studded belt, and I stood up and held up my shirt so he could see my belt, [ cause they're exactly the same you know you know ] and he's all like "Oh, thats fucking hot." and I was like "Oh hell yeah." ..

[ other entry ]

and I seen Elijah today [which is now yesterday]. It was cool. I like, seen him in lunch and he said something like "Hey Pal" or like, buddy or something and I was like "yeah, you're cool." lmfao. and then I seen him on my way to 7th hour, walking with Brewer, and he came up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and he's like "Its a proven fact that theres no blood between us!" And I was all "Yeah, I know!" and then he said something else, he was talking to Brewer about what happened and I was so happy that he said what he did, because if he didn't I would've been so fucking embaressed lmfao. And then he's like "Well, we're just gonna have to wait for another party." and I was all "I know, its a shame." and then we both kinda walked away.. it was fucking awesome lol. and then me and Brewer were talking and he's like "I have a prediction.. you're going to cheat on this Justin kid with Elijah." and I started freaking out.. I was like "No, I'm seriously not like that." and he was all "Well, I know a girl who said that and she did it anyways." but.. I'm not. lmfao. That'd be funny though.. not the cheating thing, but the cousin/incest scare always makes me laugh. <3

David J PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF today. Omfg.. in the morning, Britt and Phillip were talking about what Justin said like 'Oh, she was hanging over all the guys, especially her own cousin.' and I started cracking up and walked away so I wouldn't seem stupid because I was laughing so hard, and David J came up to me and he's all "Oh, are you sad?"
"No David, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You're okay?"
"Yes David, I'm fine."
"Okay then.." and he all walked away. Then before 2nd hour he came in my class and was like..
"Oh, how is it okay for you to talk about people but when people talk about you, you get all pissed?" and I got mad at him and I was like "Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"This morning you got mad because Brittany mentioned Elijah."
"Um, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about." and he's like "Well, you need to fucking get over it." and he started to walk away, and I was like "David, you don't even know what the fuck happened or what you're talking about!" and he's like "Oh, wow, you almost kissed Elijah!" and he said it all loud and everybody looked at me like I was retarded and I was just like .. omfg. It seriously pissed me off.



yeah. im going out with justin.

but not for loooong.

oh, and we were on the bus going home and I was talking to Brewer and after he said that "you're going to cheat on Justin" thing, I was like "No, hell no, blah, I'm not like that." and then Jeremy is like "But you're going to break up with him and go out with me." and I was like "Hell, if I break up with fucking Justin, I'm going out with Elijah." and I thought for a second and I'm like "No, I wont go OUT with him.." and I started smiling and James was like "Yeah, he'll be your fuckbuddy." and I was just like "omfgwtfstfuhoe ):"

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2005 26 August :: 3.53pm

CHERRY MONROE CONCERT
Last night was literally the best night I've ever had. I got drenched by holy spit, courtesy of Matt Toka, and I SHOOK RYAN HARRIS' hand, and I got DRENCHED AGAIN BY MATT TOKA'S SWEAT. And I HUGGED JASON LEVIS! I hugged Dave Saltzman and Frankie, too! FRANKIE IS SO HOT. lmfao .:fan girl squee:.

Like, we went and Brittany saw this kid named Steve but we werent sure if it was him and we got in there and he was sitting behind the Merchandise table, and we went up and bought shirts and we started talking and she's like "Is Your name Steve?" and he's like 'Yeah!' so I guess she knew him from Miller, and he's pretty FUCKING awesome. Not to mention cute.

So we got chairs and hung out with him at the Merc table the entire time before Cherry came on, and then Ryan walked out the door right behind us and I started freaking out and Steve is like 'Wow, do you like him or something?' and I was like "HE'S ONLY A GOD!" and so he introduced us to Ryan because he's friends with the entire band! It was awesome! We shook his hand and he's like "Well, I'll talk to you guys after the show!" He was so nice.

Then we put the chairs back and waited for Cherry Monroe to come out, and Jason got on stage and I just started SCREAMING, then everyone else started screaming and I was like "JASON!" and he didn't hear me. I was sad ): Then I seen Matt walk out and I was like "OMGOMGOMGOMGOISJFSJDFHKSDFHKSDF SPAZZZZZZZ" and it was AWESOME. He just jumped up there and started singing Bandages.

Then Steve appeared next to me and I grabbed his arm and he did a jig and then we jumped around alot and sung and then MATT STRIPPED!! It was SO HOT. Then he poured water on himself like it was a porn movie and all the girls started screaming. Oh hell yeah, I screamed too.

Then Frankie stripped and I was like 'HOLY HELL HOTNESS' and poor Dave, he wasn't getting any attention so I started saying "DAVE, I LOVE YOU!" and then I said something like that to Ryan and Frankie and it was awesome.

And then Steven disappeared and reappeared like after two more songs and we did another jig and then they played Satellites and even though I hate that song, it was the best of the night because everyone was singing and jumping and shit.

Then afterwards we met everyone and got drenched in MATT TOKA'S sweat, it was gross but AWESOME. Holy sweat, man. Then we got our shirts signed and Steve is like 'You guys owe me hugs!' so I gave him a hug and so did Britt and we ran away, BUT ALL IN ALL, it was awesome.

I almost cried when I took a shower this morning because I didn't want to wipe the sweat off Matt Toka off. Its SO gross, but I'm serious. I mean, obviously I wanted to shower, but I didn't want to wash off the Matt essance.

1 Rusty Razor | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2005 15 March :: 8.33pm

Someone just called my phone and said,

"Is Kelly there?"
"No."
"Who is this?"
"Who is this?"
"Where's Kelly?"
"You've got the wrong number."
"No I dont, bitch, put Kelly on the phone."

D:

I hung up >_>

2 Rusty Razors | Cut me


siyumai

:: 2005 12 March :: 8.00pm

Lmfao. I'm over Jenns house.. yesterday was her birthday, and today we were going out to eat to celebrate.

Well, we went to Applebees, and Jenn was wearing her "Vote for Pedro" shirt. We had the coolest waitress, and she came up to us and started just randomly talking about Napolean Dynamite.

She kept asking Jenn if she wanted a refill for her dew, which was like, every five minutes. XD It was great!

But when we finally had to leave, I wrote a note on a napkin that said,

"Dear Lyn(n),

Thank you for the yummy food. You were a very cool waitress person-lady. If I shall ever see you again, I will probably not remember you. Thank you for the refills.

Love, Us."

And Jenn drew Napolean Dynamite's "Liger" on the side and I wrote "VOTE FOR PEDRO", and we left her a five-dollar-tip wrapped up in the napkin. We tied it to the balloon that she gave Jenn for her birthday, and wrote "TO LYN(n)" on the Balloon so she would see it! XD

Yes, we did the (n) lmfao

But some dude cleared away our table and read the note and went to get our waitress. Like, fifty other waiters/waitresses came with her, too. We had them all laughing so hard!

Then we ran up to her and she was like "Oh my god! I'm going to show everybody, and then I'm going to frame it and put it on my fridge!"

It was so great- we had so much fun. It made our day!

4 Rusty Razors | Cut me

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