Whatever happenend to the Breakfast Club? I mean, the film ended happily enough, with the group of different kids feeling a connection with each other. But what became of them in the next few weeks, months, years? My guess is that they maybe met together as a group one, maybe two more times, definitely in their earlier years. Then they grew apart, forgetting about that bond they shared. Anthony Michael Hall became a millionaire, Molly Ringwald a housewife. Ally Sheedy stopped being a crazy girl and joined the working world, Emilio Estevez came out of the closet. And of course Judd Nelson died. But this isn't the real point of the entry; I got to thinking what will happen to my friends and I. Since I obviously can't tell, I will do the smart thing and predict what will happen, as urged on by Holly. Wackiness will ensue, and we will learn a lesson.

So to begin this pointless experiment, I think I will take everyone's favorite silent kid, Noah "The Bear" Garbarino. Since he's already shown proficiency at staying in a long relationship, he will most definitely marry early, probably a girl he met in college. No kids. Working as an insurance guy or something. He will have a grizzly beard, and will be the same old guy. Silent to strangers, funny as hell with his friends. Ten bucks he gets knifed in a carjacking.

The older Garbarino, Ben, will be a different story. I think he'll make it as a jazz musician, touring with many bands. He will marry much later in his life, after much searching. I'm going to out on a limb and say he may, just may, go bald. Just throwing that idea out there. Probably will open up a daycare center when he hits 65. Then he will drift off in his sleep one day.

Ian, obviously, will become one of the leaders in the "penis stand-in" business. He will probably get gonorrhea at an early age and thus live a tranquil life. He will live in California and bike a lot. He will have one kid, and teach little Obi-Wan Knabe to skank like no one has skanked before. He will fall off a cliff, or something crazy like that.

Sara B. will probably go to college and join a sorority. After getting filled-out more times than an college application, she will graduate with a degree in marketing. She will find true love in an Indie film director, and they will become one of Hollywood's it-couples. She will squirt out a few kids in her early 30's, and then settle down in Carolina. She will have a weave. And then one day she will get breast cancer, and like the fucker it is, she will succomb to it at the age of 83.

Cary will keep it real as a freelance writer/cheerleader coach. He will continue to be cynical until he has a little girl through a one-night stand. Not wanting his kid to hate the world as he did, he will make an honest effort to conform.However, he will never buy one of those mini-American flags to stick on his SUV.

Dave will work his way up the NFL ranks using his knowledge from Madden and become the first Canadian Jew-Fro'd general manager of the Falcons. Never will marry, just will have plenty of whores. He will die in a pool of his own urine.

Holly will find a chicken head in her bucket of KFC one day and win a huge settlement. She will use this money to buy Ebony magazine. There will be a huge flow of "Chocolate milk" in her bedroom at night. She will then be capped in a East coast/West coast crime.

Andrew will be in a lot of bands from age 20-35, scoring minor hits as a drummer for Two Tickets to St. Paul and Tomorrow is After Today. He will then drop the sticks and write the musical "Crotch-Fire!!!" which will become an Off-Broadway hit. His shaggy hair and loveable smile will be with him till the day he dies.

Keith will shave the fro off after high-school and concentrate on his studies, becoming the most successful Kerr in the field of breast pump production. He will marry a Polish lawyer and have 6 kids. All will be fatasses. He'll eat one too many cheeseburgers, and will have a heart attack at age 53.

Krystal will go sXe and be a yoga instructor. She will be a new age freak and practice free love. This free love will lead to a bout with the Herp. Luckily, Herpes is a curable disease in the future. However, she will get hit by a car after she gets her final treatment for the disease. She will be remembered by her friends as a sort of African American Madonna, only less of a slut.

A.J. will die of a heroin overdose.

Vivi will be a successful business woman, and will marry a 50 year old writer as a young woman. Since he will already be shooting blanks, she will have no children. But many would say she lived the most enjoyable life of us all.

Shane will be drafted and die in 'Nam.

Austin will go to college and become one of the coolest kids on campus. He will also marry the girl of his dreams. They will have two kids, who adore him. He will then bite it in a ski accident. Fuckin ski-lifts.

Abby will become a big underground novelist, writing mostly tales of young girls coming to grips with life. She will do cocaine, but only to enhance her writing skills. Most days will conclude with her dancing to Van Morrison records on her patio. She will probably die, i dont know how.

And for me, Drew? I don't know. I will probably get a degree in Creative Writing, and fail at doing what i love. I will retreat to doing some sort of worthless job. Hopefully i will marry a girl i truly love, but who knows? I will drink White Russians constantly, and may have a kid or two. I don't really want to think about my own death, because I am not a fan of thinking of such things.

I'd like to think I will keep in contact with all of you, and you will keep in contact with each other, but only time will tell.

Hopefully this provides some enjoyment for all of you.

11 See you later bois | Why you gotta be so complicated?