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brokenmentality

:: 2006 1 January :: 9.19pm

so i think i've decided that im gonna go on doing pageants. i think i have the right kind of personality, and if you do those things right the scholarships you get are amazing. i could PAY my way through college and be making a difference at the same time. if i really set my mind to it... i dont think i'll win all of them.. but i definatly think i could get down to the last 10 or so... and either way.. i know from experience that the pageant process itself is an amazing experience. plus i have a pretty impressive resume for one. i decided this while i took a bath tonight.... honestly.. a candle lit bubble bath is where you come up with and figure out the BEST things. plus my mom has a skylight.. and nothing is more relazing than listening to a gentle rain.


im scared about high school ending.. ANXIOUS but scared.... and for the first time in my life i have a plan. its so reassuring to know where i want to go with my life. and if i change my mind about this whole interior design thing.... at least i'll have a great side hobby to fall back on later in life! we went to schulers today and i found this book that was just amazing. it was 40 dollars.. but covered every (well im sure not EVERY) aspect of interior design.. even down to tips on creating your sample board. i think im gonna get it tomorrow. and when im done with this entry im gonna look at different colleges and their design programs.

its just so exciting to have an outline for my life. i've never had that before. i've never been sure about something so HUGE. im extremely indecisive. VENDING machines are a hassel for me! wayyy to many options! so when it comes to my life, and where im going to be in the future... you cant even imagine how confused i get. i havent ever delt with the whole "future" issue before. i just kind of made it through school.. and here i find myself at the end, and i was about ready to break. what kind of 17 year old doesnt have a career picked out? well i'll tell ya from experience.... a very normal one! i now know that im just lucky that i've chosen a career... because you cant just do that overnight. i dont think we should be rushed into deciding the rest of our lives! and i was feeling really down because i thought EVERY one had it figured out except for me. that is NOT the case. design is a passion that i've been practicing for years... and i didnt even know it! my room has always been a haven for me.. and a reflexion of my style. when we lived with brandi i was going crazy because i didnt have a space of my own. it sucked! i need that one place that just screams ME everywhere ya know? i'm very big on personal style.. and even though yes, i do wear abercrombie sometimes... i like to think i have my own style. its the little things that make me unique. i just love fasion and i think you're home should be a reflexion of everything that makes you feel like YOU. ughh.. im just SO excited!



*smiles really big......



with all these "plans" or whatever.. i've realized that in order to stay confident and focused i HAVE to get in shape. im not toooo far from it.. but far enough. i need to have alot of energy. i have a good head on my shoulders... and like i said in my last entry... i dont have any type of negative thing affecting me. that means i have no excuse not to suceed. i just have stay in shape and be on my toes. i am SO ready to embrace life. i wasnt put here to sit in cedar springs the rest of my life. and yeah.. everyone "hates" Cedar and wants to get out... but ya know what.. this is my home. and has always been my home. even though i know that there are bigger things out there... i know that in littler nowheresville michigan.. theres a small town that holds all my memories and the foundation for the rest of my life! i dont think you're SUPPOSED to want to stay in your hometown for the rest of your life! and lets face it... Cedar Springs is all over the united states. there are towns just like ours in every single 20 mile radius of every state... just a few different variations.. and some BIG cities like new york. dont be naive and think that this is the only small "hick" town around! this is our starting place.... not ending! be thankful for that! whether you want to admit it or not... this town has helped make us who we are. if we lived in LA we'd all have much different ambitions.

im just so content with my life right now.... and its so wonderful to feel this good!

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anachronism

:: 2006 1 January :: 10.54am

This is the new year and I don't feel any different.
New Years was awesome for me. Nothing exciting happened. I didn't watch the ball drop, I didn't get a new years kiss, I didn't even know it was the new year until two minutes later. But, that simplicity and it being treated like any normal day made it so special to me.

Lisa picked me up, we went to Skelletones (Aw, man.. I love that place), we met Devin there, watched a few bands, left, went to some lame party, left, drove around aimlessly then went to James's house to hang out and just watch movies for the night. We played 'Go Fish' too! I didn't know/remember how to play, so Devin taught me. Haha.

Devin is just...amazing. I've never instantly been so comfortable around someone. Nothing is awkward. It's like I have been this kids best friend for years. We talk all the time about everything. Serious things, past relationships, or about stupid shit that doesn't even matter. He makes me laugh so hard and I do the same for him. I love how he is so real and raw. He just says exactly what he's thinking, he's kind've... sassy in a way. And that's a bad word to describe a guy, but you get the point. He just won't sit back and not say what he thinks. I like how open he is. He'll just spill his heart out about the low times in his life and you can tell he doesn't feel embarrased about them. And it's not in this whiny way. It's in this real, 'This happened, I felt like this. So what? Take it or leave it' kinda way. And I love that. I need someone to just say something and not care if it sounds wrong. I have yet to sleep. We stayed up all night into the day just talking. It was never weird, we always had something to say or something to laugh about. It honeslty, like..hurt both of us to have to go home today.

The only thing that scares me is he is seriously such a nice guy. I feel like I can end up hurting someone like him. He won't talk bad about people unless he's joking. He actually sticks up for people and will tell the people talking shit that it's not cool. He honestly gets pissed off when people talk bad about others. I think that's awesome and it's nice to be around someone like that, maybe he can help me quit that habit.

He's also very well rounded. He's never stolen and doesn't ever want to. He doesn't smoke, because he thinks it's a disgusting habit, he has only gotten drunk four times in his life and doesn't plan on drinking ever again (He had to go to the hospital the last time he got drunk from alcohol poisoning. He almost died and that scared him, so he doesn't want to drink like that again.), he's smoked pot and is also done with that, because he wants to get a good job and just doesn't care about it. He was just talking about how he went through the stages he needed to and he doesn't have the urge to do those things anymore. And I could see that he was telling the truth, not just telling me things I wanted to hear. He's also very intelligent, you can tell by his vocabulary and the classes he is taking.

The best part of everything about him is...he's a virgin. Can you believe that?! Honestly, I can't believe it. I like that he is basically on the same level as I am in that area. You don't just find guys who haven't had sex around anymore. And it makes no sense. For the way he looks and acts girls should honeslty be throwing themselves at him. Seriously. He's extremely easy on the eyes.

I am a lot more mature than he is, but he's a year younger and a Junior so it makes sense. A year really changes a person. One year can make a person grow up in athousand ways. He's not perfect, which makes everything even better. He can drive me up the wall within seconds, but then just make me laugh it off a minute later.

I couldn't have asked for a better way to start off the year.

I don't know about all of this. Right now we're just friends. Close friends who are really comfortable with eachother and will spend any day they have to hang out to do nothing, yet enjoy every second of it. He even told me how he missed his ex girl friend and he wanted to be with her again. But, then he hinted a lot to me by asking questions about how picky I am with guys, if age matters, what annoys me about him, if I think he's cool, etc. etc. He asked a lot of questions that tip toed around us eventually dating or finding out if I liked him. We could end up dating (eventually), but I don't want to be serious with anyone until I get out of Highschool and expeirence a little more of my life. I don't even want to date him right now, I just want to be really good friends with him and enjoy his wonderful company.

It was so darn cute...he got up on stage and skanked at Skelletones. He looked sooo cute, seriously. He can actually skank right, so that was cool to see. I love how he always just lets go and has a good time.

Then he ate the last red and blue sour gummy worm! I told him not to eat any of those ones, because those were the only ones I liked and he ate them anyway! Then he laughed at me.

So, I killed him.

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anachronism

:: 2005 31 December :: 3.28pm
:: Music: Rilo Kiley

I can't wait for tonight.

I'm starting to get bored and when I get bored I get sad. When I get sad I kill people. When I kill people I go to jail. When I go to jail I sneak out. When I sneak out out I hide. When I hide I go crazy. After I go crazy I watch TV. When I watch TV I get tired. When I get tired I get bored. When I get bored I get sad. When I get sad I kill people.. and well, you see? The process just starts itself all over again.

So, let's go out tonight and hope I don't get bored.

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anachronism

:: 2005 30 December :: 9.36pm

Everybody looks like ants!
Ron and I watching Family Guy:

Icicle shards says:
haha
Relentless says:
hahaha
Icicle shards says:
hahahahah
Relentless says:
lol!


[Repeat that about ten times]

Man, I love that show. And boy, do I love sour worms. I ate all of them, Ron. Now I feel sick, but it was worth it.

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anachronism

:: 2005 30 December :: 1.56am

Dacon is bangerous.
Tonight was fun. Hung out with Ashley, Dani, Ryan, Tyler, Big Nasty, my bro, Shane, and Dan. (I am naming people in my entries lately so I can remember whenever I read through this. It's for my own benefit, so ignore it.). We hung out at Dani's house for a while, then went to IHOP. I hate that place with a passion, but the group made it fun. Those kids were hilarious. I love being around fun people. And I love to laugh. It's so nice.

I can't wait for new years. :) It shall be a good time.

Edit>> I know I am updating a lot lately about pretty much the same things. This journal is becoming more of a thing for me to read and look back on memories. I know who I hung out with and what I did doesn't matter to you, but it matters to me. And it is my journal after all. So, if it's annoying... "like be a big person and get over." Haha, only a select few will get that one.

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anachronism

:: 2005 29 December :: 6.54pm
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack - Rent

105.4!
Going out once again. I'm tired and grouchy and I wouldn't have it any other way, because of the reasons I am. That makes no sense to you, but it does to me. So, fuck off.

For break starting off so completely terrible, it seems to be ending well.

Who would of thought I could actually be happy and stay happy?
What the hell is this?

It's well deserved.

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anachronism

:: 2005 29 December :: 12.07am

I love my friends so much. You guys crack me the fuck up.
But, seriously..without friends like the ones I have I'd be a wreck all of the time.

Thanks for being there.
I can't wait to dance on our party bus! ;)


I really need sleep. Going on two days without it, but I've hit the point where I am so tired I have crazy energy. Eventually I just have to fall asleep. Right?

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 28 December :: 10.13pm


My computer has a virus. What is the best anti virus protection stuff? I know nothing about it.

What's happening is it won't let me go to msn.com, it takes me to needupdate.com. I'm sure other stuff is happening, but I don't know what.

Help, please.

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anachronism

:: 2005 28 December :: 7.55pm
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack - Love Heals

Big Nasty rocks my world.
Well, I just got done hanging out with Devin. There's just something about that kid. He's really...I don't even know. Just interesting and different. And I like it. Don't get me wrong now kittens. We're just friends and nothing's going to be rushed. I just think he's cool and I'm glad I'm getting to know him.

I have still yet to sleep and I won't be sleeping until probably tomorrow 'cause I'm hanging out with Jess, Erika, Heather, and Brandi tonight. But, I don't mind.. I love those bitches.

Ashley: I need to talk to you! It's nothing important so don't get exctied. I just have to ask you a question. Ok, little spears? Hehe.

Anyway, life is good right now. Really good and I am so happy.

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anachronism

:: 2005 28 December :: 10.57am
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack

Last night was so much fun. I love you Ashley, Dani, Mishy, and Brittani. Oh, and Devin & Ben (BIG NASTY) as well, haha. We just stayed out all night driving around, going to coffee shops, and just hanging out. It was so great. I'm running on about an hour of sleep (or less), but I don't care. I'll be leaving to hang out downtown in about two hours anyway. I don't know why I'm talking about this. It's just.. I was really happy last night. Everything was just nice and we all had so much fun and got along instantly. I didn't really like Devin the first time I met him, well more of how he was online, but he's actually a really cool kid. And what Mishy and I talked about is true. He's a junior, give him a year and a lot of things will change.

I need to learn to give people a chance.
And I will.

We all need to hang out again, soon.

Now I'm sad that break will be over in like a week.. :(
Let's all just pretend we had no idea and never go back to school. Sound good? Hey, if we all do it, it could just work. Just gotta have faith!

Anyway, yeah.. shower..food..sleep.

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anachronism

:: 2005 27 December :: 9.58am

I think I'm actually happy. Honestly.

Of course I'm gonna have my bad moments where I feel lonely, but being single right now is good.

Highschool relationships are usually bullshit anyway. Even if people say they aren't, they are. I only know of two couples that I think are actually good.

I like that I can do what I want. I can go to a party if I want to. I can hang out with guys. I can ask for a guys numbers if I think he's cool. I can call guys and talk. I can just do what I want without asking if it's ok and that feels so good.

I want to date at the age when it will be a mature, adult relationship and the goal will be marriage, not getting laid. It seems pointless to me to date when the goal isn't being together forever. Sometimes it's just a time kill for people. Or just so they won't be alone. Maybe they're in love with someone else, so they trick themselves into thinking the new person is great, which he may be.. but, you're still thinking about the other guy. Whatever it is...it's bullshit.

And I can say right now I have not had one mature relationship in my life. In one we fought too much about stupid shit that didn't matter at all. The other he quit on me because I "couldn't see him enough" the other one.. he had no back bone, another one.. well he was just a moron. Etc. But, everything was just weak and no one tried to fix a problem that was barely even a problem at all.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing people who date in highschool. I'm just saying for me, it's not right, right now. And it shouldn't be the focus of my life. I can be happy without a meaningless guy by my side.

I can't believe I begged for him to stay. What the hell? Right now, I've never felt so good to get rid of someone so bad.

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anachronism

:: 2005 26 December :: 6.33pm
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack - Seasons of Love

Ya know what? I don't feel bad for Naomi Watts. I would gladly accept being chased by like 8 dinosaurs, having giant bugs on my face, and being swung in a gorillas hand for an hour if I could end up being with Adrien Brody. She's lucky. Stop crying, bitch.. you have Adrien. Who cares about the God damn gorilla?!

Juuust kidding. It was a really sad movie, but good. Very good actors/actresses in it.

Oh, and when I said, "Juuuust kidding." I didn't mean I wouldn't do anything to be with Adrien. I would. :)

I returned my Mp3 player, it sucked. But, it's all good because my mom just let me spend the money and she's going to buy me a nice one later on. :) I got the Rent Soundtrack, Blow [DVD], The Pianist [DVD], The Dukes of Hazzard [DVD], Bob Dylan Chronicles VI [Book], and a Bob Dylan 1956-1966 Scrapbook.

Today was good. How was your day?

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anachronism

:: 2005 26 December :: 11.09am
:: Music: Ashlee Simpson - Burning Up

Q: What's better than seeing Adrien Brody?

A: Seeing Adrien Brody on a giant screen for three hours.


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anachronism

:: 2005 25 December :: 7.41pm

Crash.
If you haven't seen the movie Crash see it. Now.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I don't even want to let anyone borrow it. Buy it. You'll end up buying it if you rent/borrow it anyway. I promise. :)

Thanks for telling me about it Erika. I know I've all ready seen it, but this time it really sank in.

It's the sense of touch. Any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people. People bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something.


anachronism

:: 2005 25 December :: 4.27pm
:: Music: Kanye West - Hey Mama

I love Kanye.
Well, I got..
-Pink Floyd Hoodie (It's sweeet)
-2 Zip up sweaters
-2 Shirts
-Underwear
-Makeup, nail polish
-Lotion, bodywash, and junk like that
-Like 18 pairs of socks
-$100
-$50 Gift Card to Best Buy
-$15 Gift Card to Target
-Argyle purse (It's so cute!)
-Did I mention LOTS OF SOCKS?!
-Crash [DVD]
-Bewitched [DVD]
-Ashlee Simpson - I am me [CD]
-Mp3 Player
-Some jewerly
-Lucky perfume
-Adidas perfume
-Candy!

I think that's about it. It was cool, my mom put $20 bills in random presents. Those were kinda fun to find. (That's where the $100 came from). After I return some of the stuff I got that didn't fit I'll have more money, so that's cool. And I think I'll be returning my mp3 player to get one that will hold more songs. I don't know though.

Oh, look at that. I'm rambling on and on about presents. It's about Jesus, silly me! Go Jesus. Even though I'm Agnostic, yeah!

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anachronism

:: 2005 25 December :: 11.53am
:: Music: Ashlee Simpson - Eyes Wide Open

Candy...mmm.
I thought and thought of ways to make Christmas better for the guys and this is all I came up with. I think she's pretty hot.

Read more..

Anyway..have a wonderful, delicious, magical Christmas everyone.

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anachronism

:: 2005 24 December :: 9.57am

Senior Pictures.
I want you to choose your favorite picture. I do realize these pictures aren't that great. I am not paying $400 for senior pictures and I don't really care as long as it's not another one of those fucking school pictures on our ID's.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

1. I do realize that I look pissed off in the first one, no need to point that out.
2. I am also aware I only have one eye in the second one.
3. I did notice that you can't really see my face too well in the third one, I just like the picture.

Tell me your favorite photo, don't be an ass. That's all. Thanks.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 22 December :: 12.58am

this is now friends only.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 20 December :: 2.46pm
:: Music: Rise Against

The minute hand is too slow

I just bought Amanda's gift. I cannot disclose what it is because someone could tell her, and that wouldn't be fun.

I really think she'll like it. She said she wanted one a long time ago, but hasn't said anything about it recently. I hope the desire hasn't faded. Either way, it'll still be a surprise.

Oh, and, I got a sweet coat. I saw it and tried it on, and it was the only one left. So, my mom was like, "well, I guess you know one of your Christmas presents now." So I wore it to the other stores we went to.

On the way to Meijer on Plainfield today, there was this guy lying in the street with two cops over him, and at first we thought the guy had gotten hit by a car, so we were all like, sad for the guy. Then I noticed the cop putting handcuffs on him and pulling him up by them. I wasn't as sad after that.

I'm updating too much lately. I've got to stop.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 20 December :: 12.34am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Funeral for a Friend - Hours

12:34

I just beat Devil May Cry on Normal Mode for the first time. I got it about 3 years ago. I cannot express the feeling of ecstacy that I recieved when I saw Dante and Trish flying away from the island. Ahhh...

And within that feeling, I started thinking about the rest of my life. Everything is going amazingly well. I have the best grades I've ever had during high school, an awesome girlfriend, and Christmas is in less than a week.

What more could a guy ask for?


It took a video game to put it all in perspective.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 19 December :: 8.58am
:: Music: the Arcade Fire

an alternative route

Today is our first official day of vacation, since you can't technically count the weekend, or Friday because that was just a snow day.

Hopefully I can go to Josh's house. I just need a ride. My mom hates driving during the winter, (even if it isn't snowing and the roads are clear) so I doubt she'll take me.

Though Christmas is approaching fast, I don't find myself getting very excited. I'm sort of dreading Christmas day actually, because I have to go to a party at my Aunt's house, which I think is stupid. Christmas should be spent with your immediate family, not all of your relatives. Save that for another day, there is no reason to ruin Christmas.

moved fast


brokenmentality

:: 2005 18 December :: 9.13pm

yesterday was the battle in detroit.

i must say it started out rough.. very rough. rough as in i said maybe 10 words the entire way there... thats 3 hours of 10 words people. no no no.. 3 hours of 10 words approximately 20 thousand break dance beats and lingo between 3 dance junkys that would be enough to drive any sane person to stab 3 forks and a spoon into their eye.

we got there 2 hours early. 6 to be exact.

the bboying was sposed to start at 8, NOTHING started (except for the cyphers) until 9:30 and 61syx didnt battle until 11:30. now tell me, how much fun would a breakdancers GIRLFRIEND have for 5 hours surrounded by a zillion talented dancers in a hispanic youth center? tons actually....! once we got there and started driving around detroit it was just really exciting (i had never been there before) we went to this burger king and all the workers were black and they were just so funny. just like the ann arbor battle.. im amazed at the way people can move their bodies. i had no idea how INSANE breakdancing can be. i've seen clips on keegans computer of other crews.. but when you actually SEE them... hooooolly wow.

61syx took prolly 8th out of 16 which is pretty good for a crew thats only been together for a year.. versus Chicago Tribe whos been together for 6. (they won by the way)

it was just incredible... very cool INDEED. but yeah.. so we didnt leave until about 1.. got lost trying to find the CORRECT high way, seems how there's 80 of them (ish).



but above all i love curling up and falling asleep after a long day with the person who just 'gets' me most.....and then waking up and eating chilli... lol. gotta love keegans mom.



yesterday before the battle we went to a distribution center in grand rapids for toys for tots (we being me, my beloved red flannel girls, emily secor, shannon potter, and keegan) and helped familys pick out toys for their children. we did this last year for red flannel, and loved it so much that we just HAD to go back this year. its the absolute best experience we had last year, and now we have another incredible memory. its such an eye opening experience. you meet all these people who are just so blessed to have an organization to help them out. all day i was waiting for that ONE person that would teach me the biggest lesson, that i would remember most. and finally i found her. she was middle age woman, very well kept and so incredibly nice. and when i greeted her she told me that this was her first time so she would be so happy if i walked her through it and helped her out (which we do for all the people anyway) when i told her that she could pick 3 toys per child and a stocking stuffer she was in disbelief and kept saying how wonderful it was. immediatly i noticed this incredible energy to her. when we got to the teenage table i told her that she could pick one toy because we had a shortage when it got to that agegroup and told her that that's one thing we want to change next year. she replied with "oh its fine. and SOO greatfully received, truely it is. this is such a blessing" a little bit later she told me that her girls (4 of them) lost everything in a housefire. all their christmas gifts, possesions.. everything.. and then proceeded to tell me that it was their father who set the house on fire. with everything that this woman had been through, she still found the courage to be strong and ask for help when her family needed it the most. i didnt want her to leave.. i just wanted to continue talking to her and feed off her high energy. it was so wonderful.

it just makes a person realize that you never know when you're going to need help from your community. thats what we're here for. to help eachother out. this woman made the comment that "god willing, next year it will ME thats helping other people in situations like mine out" and i couldnt have said it better myself. as community members we all need to step it up to help others in need.. and no im not just trying to be corny or whatever else you might call me... but if you dont believe how much you can truely do for your community even by donating an hour of your time to talk to people who just need someone to listen.. then please contact a distribution center for next year and see for yourself how great a need even just OUR community and surrounding communitys are for added help. you never know when it could be YOU thats asking for help.

above all, toys for tots finally got me locked into the christmas spirit. i just feel like making christmas cookies and going caroling! lol.. and ACTUALLY.. i was talking to linds a bit ago and we'd really like to go with a nice sized group. so if anyone is interested leave me a comment and perhaps we can set something up for this week.

i hope everyone has a great break and a great christmas.

STAY SAFE on the roads!

*winks... later kids.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 16 December :: 11.56am

ugh.. i can NOT believe we have a snow day today.

last night i filled out 70 fucking christmas cards for staff appreciation (student senate committe) and now what.. i give them to them AFTER christmas? not to mention i bought a whole bunch of food to put in the staff lounge... now its just sitting in my kitchen. BAH...

and i was really looking forward to drama. i made peanut butter balls last night and everything. GAH.

oh.. and i better say goodbye to saturdays. thursdays are gone. but hey "its only for 4 months" yeah the rest of my senior year.. GOOD thing it wont be focused on me. fuck that.

STUPID SNOW DAY!

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 16 December :: 5.33am

Snow drifts

Vacation starts one day early.

I bet Modisher is pissed.
That just makes me laugh. No Unit test, WOOH!
I bet Dolbee is mad, too. She probably planned on giving us a shitload of homework to do over break. Now what, biatch!?

Have I ever mentioned how much I love snow?

The only bad thing about this is, that none of you will get to see me and Amanda's really cool hawk talk.
Oh well. I can edit it and just play it another time.

Now, I'm going back to sleep.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 14 December :: 6.56pm
:: Music: At the Drive-In

Peripheral

I just WHOOSHed.
Now it's time to do my homework.

Just in case.

[Edit]
This just in:

A freezing weather advisory is in effect until 7 AM.

Whoosh does it again.
Hopefully.


WHOOSH has failed me.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 13 December :: 10.25pm

i just registered for my ACTs after my mom came in my room and fucking attacked me.

she walks in and says "you need to see your guidance officer or something" i turn and look at her like what the fuck.. and she starts going off about college and how its not her responsibility to line it up for me and in that same five minutes it some how spirialed to if i dont go to college i cant live here and blah blah blah.

you dont just COME into my room and tell me that i need to see a counselor and expect me not to get pissed off. i had no idea what the fuck she was talking about until she started in on her rant.

if its SO important to her then why is this the first time i've heard of it? and it was totally out of the blue.. completely random.

of COURSE im going to college.. but im going to CC... i havent been terribly worried that they wont let me in. i mean for the love of god woman...

so in retaliation i filled in all that un-needed information for like an hour and woke her up to get her credit card number. TAKE THAT! HA! laughs* whatever.

im so sick of all this "realization" stuff that its almost over. i dont care about anything except that its DONE. college will come when it comes... which i've ALWAYS been planning will be the very next year dear mother.... and life will follow shortly after.

im ready for bigger better things... away from everything here that has ever givin me limitations.




and on a second thought.... im about to go loco on the entire yearbook class. granted.. its a select few that make it miserable.. well.. not miserable because yearbook is pretty much the best thing ever.... more like irritating and stressful. FUCK YOU stupid people! YEAH..... i love my bitches. (stacy, jess and jess) well..i love alison too.. but she's to sweet to be refered to as my bitch! not that they're MY bitches.... but they know what i mean.

night dolls.

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 13 December :: 3.12pm

Mesicitic

I do not understand math. My brains exploded today while taking a quiz. I got an 8% on it. It dropped my grade from a 98 to an 81. Now I have to do homework that I don't understand. If I can just get a good grade on the homework, then I'll be fine. But I can hardly ever get good grades on the homework, even when I understand it.

On a good note, this weeks hawk talk will be awesome thanks to Amanda and me. Our segment "Fun in the Snow" is pretty funny, and not just same old boring thing. It will be on during seminar on Thursday.

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brokenmentality

:: 2005 11 December :: 10.29pm

wow... some girls are just sad.




jess and stacy... i love you!

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bleedingsun

:: 2005 11 December :: 9.57am
:: Music: Chiodos

Drawings in the margins

Today will be fun. I'm excited for chinese and Chiodos. (A band that sounds a lot like the Mars Volta. I finally discovered one!)

Now if I could just find the lyrics...

moved fast


bleedingsun

:: 2005 9 December :: 6.03am


We should not have school. Whoever makes that call is stupid.

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