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:: 2003 30 June :: 1.17 pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: ahhh make the phones stop!!!

updates updates updates...sum pix enjoy
6-30
so yesterday just started as a bad day and it only got worse. I dunno maybe I was just in a bad mood bc I was stuck and had a million different places to be at once. So I ran around all day with Eric to do stuff for the baby shower which turned out nice. While at target getting the gift I spilt ketchup all over my shirt so of course we had to go back to my place so I could change, it ended up for the better bc I wore a dressier outfit and we got to wrap the gifts all up.
so yea ppl my leak in my bathroom has now turned to fungi. Yep Yep Yep...thats rite folks we've got mushrooms. Over my toilet of all fukin places. It's just rechid it sceeves me to even go in there now. Like the bathroom should be one of the top three cleanest places in your home along with your kitchen and your dining area. So yea my dad came to look it and he was like "Wow I figured you were just being a drama queen about this, but this is bad Leanne. What's the number to the office? I am no DRAMA QUEEN LFMAO!!!!!! haha..so my dad called the office and reemed them a new asshole over the answering machine. Fukin priceless...so now you know where I get my ability to tell ppl off from..haha bitch I am german/irish from dads side and mexican/indian from moms side so I have a mouth like you cant imagine lol. But ANYWAY...this morning I awoke got in the shower and stef was like the manager came. I was like the super shes like no the manager...so wait let me fill u in a lil bit on this shit holes management. You have the girl in the office who is a dumb ho and doesnt do her job. She lies and puts shit off and just pisses me the fuk off. Then you have the super a scrapy looking kid. So the girl in the offices father owns the complex so he is the one to show up at my door. I have no idea what the man looks like for all teh 500 problems I have had he has never come over. So I am guessing my dad threatening to sue did some fucking good. My Sister answers the door and he tells her that he had no idea that this problem was goin on (which doesnt fukin suprise me at all..bc from the very beginning I was given the run around about this leak and blah blah there lazy motha fukers...you know the deal). So he said they would be over first thing in the morning to get it fixed. Now what sux is...if this fungis is there...its problem in the whole wall...it's just this is the only place for it to get through now due to the dampness and weakness of the wall. What really sux is the AC vent is right there...so fungi germs are all over my fukin house...creepy crawling all over the place...thank god I dont have a microscope, I would be living in my dam car. Oh yea there was a point...they are goin to have to tear down the wall to find out the problem. There is no way around that. So I am gonna have a nice talk with this manager fellow and show him my list of every problem I have had. Then explain to him that I would really hate to have to go to a higher level with this. That I really fell in love with this place when I first moved in. I mean heh it may not be no mansion but I work hard for this place and I dont wanna have to find a new place and run around I would just expect proper maintence and respect from the ppl who get my $760 a month lol. I would like a cut in my rent tho. I would like them to lower my august rent buy a few hundred bux for my troubles. I mean if they want me to keep my mouth shut and not go to my lawyer then "show me the money" haha I am so gay its not even funny sumtimes. Honestly...my shower that just got fixed two weeks ago now leaks again...I have fungus my stove doesnt lite on its own again I gotta use matches...the ac wasnt working ...my door knob eats ur fingers hhaha...they had to replace my lock bc my key got stuck in it, freakin swarms of termites.. centipedes.. cmon now I think lowering my rent to like 500 next month is a great idea. I mean when I had the termites I had to shower elsewhere for two weeks and I dont even kno if they have treated the place yet. All rite enuff bitchin
so last nite was Idle Hour the new Sunday tradtition. I wasnt gonna go I was gonna go home and clean but what the hell rite , its summer I should be out having fun. So I went got Maura and met Beth her bro Mike and his roommate Jim there. Yea I<3 the bassist in the band soo much. Yo we have a matching tatoo...now thats a total sign haha. So mikes roommate is a cool dude he bought me a beer. I was kind of a loaner last nite...wasnt my partying self... I was tired and just wanted to be in my bed...so after that I drove maura home and drove all way back to the diner had some good cheese fries and some tea. Adam and Keith were there. It was cool then I went home ...went nite nite...thus u know how the morning started and now I am at work...I am super busy...Lisa(my boss...we work in the office together) is on vacation this week ...so I am busy X10. I'll be back later on maybe...depends on the day.
Peace out skoutz
6-29
ok...so i was talkin to kev and we are gonna watch the EWOK ADVENTURE MOVIE!!!! for anyone that has never had the honor of seeing this movie go rent it NOW....I love this movie...everytime I see it I cry like a fukin baby...I remember crying in my moms lap watchin it from the time I was lil till like NOW haha...loser...yea so we agreed we will watch it ....ok so Eric finally got around to sending me some of the pix we have taken...here are the few he sent me ...he made me a cd of them..so more later
BEWARE I AM A NERD
Silly Face Loser
alt="sillyface" />
LeeLee -N- Beffy Silly Face
alt="leebeth" />
The Fishy Face
alt="leebethfishy" />
This is the fukin best...Leanne Beffy Eric...Charlies Angels?!?!
alt="charliesangels" />

Nite Nite I am soooo tired Zzzzzz
6-28
so yea rhi said I look like a biker chic here lol
umm
wtf is that
mm hhmm dats rite
smile
I was walking back to the car in Red Bank w/ Eric when I saw these..they were so cute I hadta take a picture...Red Bank rocked...SMOOTHIE KING!!!!!!!
prettypink

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 27 June :: 10.45 am
:: Mood: enraged
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria ~Everything Evil

Fuck Alcoholism
dude totally royally fuk my stepdad in his fuking ass. I just called my mom to ask her if I could stop by this weekend and throw some stuff in the laundry bc my sister came over to shower yesterday and fukin flooded my whole bathroom so anything in the bathroom is saturated in water and smells like wet dog ick! But anyway my mom sounded upset and exhausted she told me she got no sleep and when she asked why she told me my dog was hit by a car last nite. My step dad is a fukin drunk douche bag and has been since the day he met my mother. All I remember of middle school and high school is him drinking then gettin pist off and using my mother as a punching bag. I can't fukin wait till his comes around. This man is a waste less mother fuker and I wish horrible fukin things to him. He fukin takes the dog out with no freaking leash on. Now my dog Jack is a Jack Russel and they are VERY hyper active dogs and when Jack sees something...leash or no leash that boy jets lol...well Jacky Boy saw kids across the street and hes a very friendly dog he loves kids, so he ran across the street and went under the tire of a car!!! HE is fine but he is my mothers baby and this would have never happened had my douche bag asswipe cock sucker step dad not have been drunk and most likely high. Over the last 4 years the man has persisted to do drugs in plain view of my mother and everyone else around...I pray for the day he goes overboard and overdoses. This man has beaten my mom almost to death...but love is blind and my mother is a victim of a bad childhood...my grandmother was the same exact way...she has been a alcholic drug addict for as long as I can remember. I remember being like 8 years old and my mom would have us there swimming in her pool and she would run to the store and we could see her and friends shooting up in the background...well needless to say my grandmother got what was coming to her..she is now HIV positive from intervenious drug use. It is quite sad actually. I havent spoken to the woman since I was 9 years old. I feel no pity for her either. She has gone to meetings and she still persists to drink and use. Due to the way she treated my mother during her childhood my mother has a co-dependency and lets people abuse her and treat her like shit bc that is all she new of love. It is sad to say but I see these aspects in myself and my two sisters. I have a tendency of taken mental and emotional abuse from people. I am trying very hard to change that. My sister let her exboyfriend beat her...ooo soo sad to say that once I found out he was no longer with us...he took a long vacation and it became permanent. I am so sick of this man ruining our lives. I want my mother to be happy. I want her to be able to get out of there. I wish she never met him. I wish I never met him. I wish he would disappear too. Dude whatever I am fukin done...I am just makine myself even more pist rite now.

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 18 June :: 2.34 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: flickerstick~Ur so hollywood

i know its been a while again ...but i couldnt resist this...i mean cmon!!!!

anal sex



You Are Anal Sex!


Wild, kinky, and sometimes painful.



Otherwise known as:



Checkin' to see if the round roast is done

Getting the beef thermometer

Driving the Hershey highway

Fishing for brown trout

Pushin' shit uphill

The colon commando

Coitus analis

Anaru sekkusu

Greek sex

Sodomy

Bufu



What Type of Sex Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


2003-06-18 10:09:00; happy half birthday to me!!!
so yea...this update is pretty much a reminder for me to remember some things I have to do...today I must go tanning bc I have the wake tomorrow and I will go again friday since the wedding is sunday. I must get stuff for my hair. So I'm goin to Chevy's for another wednesday nite of Margarita Fun lol...I woke up feeling sorta down in the dumps today. Maybe its this dreary fukin rain...I am really beginning to think that mother nature hates us. This rain shit is just gettin a lil bit outta fukin hand.
so tonite I am goin with Eric to go car shopping. I wish I could get a New Vibe lol. I've wanted one since the first time I saw one. But when all ur money goes to bills and rent, it just doesnt happen. We walked around the chevy dealership where I saw two dream cars just calling my name....Blazer Extreme in Blue...I swear to you it was calling my name...S10 Extreme in black...yet again this one sorta whispered my name very lightly...so the blazer wins hands down...but I could never afford that truck in a million years on my salary. If I didn't live alone I could. But eh whatever.
Well back to filing and stuff...I am wishing I had a day to stay home and sleep...starting to feel mighty exhausted...ugh I miss my blankie and my pillow and my bed...sigh...I miss Eric's bed the most tho..its like sleeping on fluffy clouds..sigh

2003-06-17 15:30:00; finding shit in your glove compartment rock
I was all in a panic looking for my John Mayer CD(which I never found) so I pop open the glove compartent and in it I find my Flickerstick CD. SO yea...I LOVE THEM!!! GOSH I REALLY REALLY DO!!!!! It brings on some good signs tho...normally a CD I used to sing and dance to around HIM would upset me...but right now...it reminds me of other things...talks with TJ and Christian in the hood...late at night...looking for the Big Dipper...skankin in the backyard...late nite driveway talks...playing memory...yo I miss the hood...I can't wait for summer nights...I know this year isn't gonna be the same tho...it kinda makes me sad...cmon I want friends to come over and layout in my backyard and look at stars...and talk about stupid stuff..and just have fun...whose in >>!?!?! I know who I want to say yes to this...but they won't.
Yo...I really love this album...Here are some lyrics from my favorite songs on the CD.
Flickerstick - Beautiful
You could be the devil in my bed
You could be the angel in my head
You could be the voices that I hear
I'm singing along because it sounds just like you're near
Cause you're so beautiful
You're beautiful today
You're so beautiful
Beautiful in every little way
Cause when you're coming around
I'm off the ground
I've got to say
You're so beautiful
You're beautiful today

I could be the drug you can't resist
I could be the antidote you missed
I could be the love you hate to fear
You're filling the hole inside your heart with feeling near to me

Cause you're so beautiful
You're beautiful today
You're so beautiful
Beautiful in every little way
Cause when you're coming around
I'm off the ground
I've got to say
You're so beautiful
You're beautiful today

Can we make it through
Together we got to fly
Don't you know I got to fly
Cause when you're coming around I got to fly
Don't you know I want to fly

And I know
And I feel
That I could learn to hate just like you
And I know
And I feel
That you could learn to love just like me

Can we make it through together
I've got to fly

Flickerstick - You're So Hollywood
Well it's a common attraction
Searching for the night club scene
Cause you're so Hollywood
You're so Hollywood
And you're looking for some action
With your flash bulb eyes tonight
You're so Hollywood
You're so Hollywood she said

I got to get out of this town
Got to get my feet back on the ground
Don't want to sell my record collection
So take a look in my direction
So I'm off (off!)
I'm feeling down
It's getting tough (tough!)
You know that the getting out is getting rough (rough!)
This town is fucking with my head
You're so Hollywood she said

And it's getting close to dark now
On the Sunset Boulevard
You're so Hollywood
You're so Hollywood

With the designer medications
Just another valium in the red wine
You're so Hollywood
You're so Hollywood she said

I got to get out of this town
Got to get my feet back on the ground
Don't want to sell my record collection
So take a look in my direction
So I'm off
I'm feeling down
It's getting tough
You know that the getting out is getting rough
This town is fucking with my head
You're so Hollywood she said

So sit back and watch me rise
Higher than the moon
I'm up here all alone
Looking down at you

I got to get out of this town
Got to get my feet back on the ground
Don't want to sell my record collection
So take a look in my direction
So I'm off
I'm feeling down
It's getting tough
You know that the getting out is getting rough
This town is fucking with my head
You're so Hollywood she said

You're so Hollywood she said

Flickerstick - Chloroform The One You Love
And if I couldn't attain
All I need to explain
Would she even look me in the eye again
She sits back and ignores
My need to adore
Intimidations got me down again
She's only 18 but such a beautiful dream
All she needs is some chloroform
And she'll be mine
Chloroform the one, the one that you love
And take her back

Every once in a while
I catch a strut and a smile
Maybe rejection is the high
That keeps me coming here
I need some compassion but she's
Laughing at the nervousness
I feel whenever she is around
And I can't see just how real
Is the charm no I don't mean
Her no harm despite my heart
And the challenge while she's lying here

Chloroform the one, the one that you love
And take her back

So just walk on by
I can see today is like any other day
But it seems brighter than it was before
I just can't believe that its
Not the same no it's not the same
It will never be the same for me again

Chloroform the one, the one that you love
And take her back


have a feeling its gonna be one of those boring days where I post alot...lol..bc I am dork...sum1 call me and hang out tonite...please...I can't sit home and go nuts anymore...it's really turning me crazy

2003-06-17 10:13:00; sometimes the best thing that ever happened..is the one thing you regret the most
So yea boys and girls, it's been a rough time for me right now. Those of you that know me well enough know that I have been kinda sick lately. I don't wanna get all in depth with it...but I just want everyone to know how sorry I am that I get this way. I realize over the last month it has gotten much worse. So right now is when I am gonna need you guys the most. For many of you ...it shouldn't be too much to ask for considering, most of you, owe me the favor. Just bare with me though. This is gonna be a tough battle for me this time. I have always had my parents there as a backbone with this sort of thing, and now I am on my own. There is no one to watch me and supervise me...I gotta do this one for myself, by myself. I am trully sorry to those I have hurt along this battle and breakdown. You know who you are! But I need for you to understand what is going on with me. I need you to take the time to see that I am the same "Leanne" that you met and once loved...but I am just having a rough time right now with things. Trust me when I say I am over IT!! Hurtful things were most likely said out of Anger, but you still stooped to that level..and that shows me, it's not worth the battle any longer. I care for you deeply still, and I always will. You will ALWAYS hold a dear spot in my heart.
To the rest of you, my true friends, I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you guys.
P.S. I found my next tattoo. I wanna save my lilies till it feels like the perfect moment to get them. I want this tattoo really bad...someone come get inked with me.
JASON MRAZ JUNE 25TH!!!! WHOSE COMING?!?!?!
now ill paste some old lj entries to catch up

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 13 June :: 10.47 am
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: none

sooo sorry i have been slacking
holy shit i have been lacking in updates here...i am sorry for anyone who reads this..i have become sort of a livejournal loser lol im like addicted...its bad..i will not forgot this journal..i promise once my computer is fixed i will update more often..peep the livejournal tho its lookin migthy cute these days
www.livejournal.com/users/sumgrlzrkrazie

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 4 June :: 11.09 am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: You Know It Co& Ca

somtimes i hate people
honestly...I am coming to the realization that boys stay immature there whole fukin lives!!!! flat out..last nite I was in the EMO chat and some douche kid IM's wanting a pic blah blah so he asks me how old I am and I'm like 22..hes like 22?!??! a 22 year old punk???? YES I AM 22 AND I LOVE MUSIC SO EAT SHIT BASTARD!!! Then this douche has the nerve to say some shit about being past the identity crisis. Ok listen you ignorant 18 year old motha fucker...you prob jumped on the punk band wagon when bands like good charlotte appeard on your MTV...well thats fine but dont fukin judge me like you fukin know me...Music is a outlet for ALL people of ALL ages. There is no age limit on music...ok so what if I was a hippie...and listened to Steve Miller Band and The Dead all day...explain my identity crisis then u fuker...honest to god, music has saved me soo many times and this just pisses me off. I don't know where I would be if I didnt have the music I have. SOOO many of these artists have touched my life with there words and talent and there is no fukin restriction on that. It's like people think that listenin to punk and shit is a trend...well all I have to say to that is ...I went to my first warped tour in 1995 so eat shit you fukin peice of shit...honest to fukin god...I am so lucky to start listening when I did...if I was a year later I would have never been blessed with the live beauty of Sublime...so fuk of you piece of shit boy!!!

Identity Crisis???? Yo mother fuker I am Johnny Crisis' niece so bak the fuk up lol..no one probably has any idea what that means unless you listen to Love In Reverse...shout to Mike Andreas and Uncle Johnny Crisis..where the fuk have you guys been I miss you!!

So yea...music is music...there are no age limits...yea you grow out of trends...but to me music is my life...I couldnt live without the music around me...it levels me...it keeps me sane...for the most part lol...label me however you wish...but dont tell me that I am too old to listen to punk....for god's sake I am only 22...half the bands you listen to have members in it older than me...god it really made me pissed of and depressed...I am not trying to feel young again through my music...I am still YOUNG!!! It is not like I am 45 here lol...I may be a adult with more responsibilities ...but there is not fukin identity crisis here...to each his fukin own!!!
Fight Me LoL
Fight Me

ok ...thank god for stef I woulda never woke up this morning...someone help me understand why brad is like living w me ...4 days in a row of staying at ..where ...oooo yea ....wait ...MY FUKIN APT>...stef is lookin to get her ass kicked out...yes she payed for food shopping but I have not asked her for a dime of rent since she moved in so she can pay for the food...since her and brad eat half of it anyway ..how is it helping me w the bills...so your bf doesnt live w me ...this a favor for mom and dad ...its not ur fukin place to party...so if u and brad wanna spend every waking minute together do it at his house...i pay alotta fukin money to have my own place and i would like to come home for once and be able to sit down on my couch alone and watch my tv that i pay for....asdfkjasdfnasdfams,ndf,a.msdf
leanne

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 3 June :: 5.09 pm
:: Mood: giggly
:: Music: Co & Ca ~Everything Evil....FUK YEA I LOVE CO & CA

Hell Motha Fukin Yea





Which Empire Records character would YOU be? Hmmm?

This quiz made while Angel was procrastinating her ass off.



Mark Sux hehe..this one goes out to the old school crew
Stefi Cans Christian i<3 you guys...always remember ol school times of orange fites and cupcakes ...lol...late nite hurricane bike rides to 7-11 for fluff lol ...no one can do a better lucas dance than christian lol...break out the black turtle necks...hey cans wanna glue some quarters lol...yo no one had a better damn the man day in school than candace and I...shit we had cupcakes and cookies, we both dressed like mark and wore empire name tags, Mark with K and Marc with C lol..we rock
Leanne

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 30 May :: 5.39 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria~Dellirium Trigger

lalalalla..its so nice out and im stuck in this shithole
I am so mad dude...why is it always nice out when I am working lol...rain all weekend nice when I work...screw you mother nature...SO everyone who knows me pop quiz...what have I been waiting for to come out for months now >>>>>>> what day does it come out >>>>>>> how freakin excited am I >>>>>>>awwwwww shit >>>>>> Finding Nemo May 30th >>>>>>WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO...you all know where I will be tomorrow...the movies watching my dearest squirt >>>>aww I cant freakin wait I wanna say screw work and just leave go to the movie and go to the beach lol
SQUIRT IS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!
Squirt

ok...yea...this weekend I am freakin sleepin and cleaning...I am at work right now and we just got a new version of a accounting system and I just dont feel like dealing with it today...god I wanna be outside, please...ugh...hunger omg. I wanna go see Bruce Almighty too..so if anyone is feeling generous and wants to take me hehe...yea being poor really fukin blows...someone help me find a new job or go job hunting w me ...I will love you forever ...I will be back later...work stinks
Leanne
enjoy some co & co with me ~Neverender
in the anxious but calm retort to mirror that frames your face baring the finest swell
when the day begins to break like the tears that run across your cheek
stand straight and imagine you then in the things and the way they could have been
when the thoughts they race across your chin here in the neverend

(i'll be home) in graver mistakes dear mom and dad, i write you in the letter that states
(i'll be moving on) when the new days begun forget your son when he's out on his own

point your gun in another direction now that you've cried yourself to sleep here in there after the fire

sorry it took sooo long to get this on woohu as apposed to the lj i have been soo busy today ...actually all effin week
Leanne

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 27 May :: 10.00 am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Ugg..I hate the stupid music when your on hold

The weekend of laziness
Ok..so yea Saturday I didn' t do that much..I slept all freakin day as you know..then I went to the mall with Stef to return dress number one for Justin and Devon's wedding this coming friday...I love dress #2...good choice Stefi...then we stopped at my dads on our way home and picked up fishy so that he didnt die from the temperature change over night and picked up a few of my dresses that I had left in the closet in my old apartment upstairs. I was intending on goin to see Bruce Almighty w Stef Brad and Stef's friend Crystal..but Rhi,Rai and Ann dropped in for a quick hello...so they stayed for a few and after that Brad was being a poo and decided not to go to the movie so I woudla felt like the 3rd wheel being that I had never met Crystal before..she stayed over that nite..sweet girl..so anyway..Eric came over and I met up w/the whole Best Buy crew at Chevy's and then Wendy came to join us..it was good times..some of those cats crack me up...then I came home and talked with Stef and Crystal and went in my room and gave myself a pedicure lol...so yea slept all day on Sunday and then took a shower and went to moms bc she intised us with food...she made my favorite macoroni salad...so then Stef and I left there and went to pathmark and shoprite to go food shopping...then I went home made some food and headed up to erics house to highlight our hair...my poor thing hes soo sick..aww if you read this...I hope you feel better...let me know how the Dr goes...yea so his hair come out soo hot..I am damn proud of myself it makes him look much older...and since he looks 16 thats a good thing..Eric and I have both been cursed w having a baby face lol..so I spent the whole day there yesterday keeping him company I went and got him myself and Jeff some chinese and we watched movies all day and made sure he stayed in bed and relaxed...it felt good to be with him the way we were yesterday...to be the one kinda taking care of him...it was like something was there that hasnt been in a long time..im not gettin my hopes up...I just know that Eric and I share something very special that we are very fortunate have...oh yea driving up to his house that nite was horrific ...there was sooo much traffic and something fell off someones car and I almost slammed into the back of some ford exploder and whatever it was I ran it over..I hate when that shit happens it makes my heart pound and gets me all flustered...so yea it was a nice good relaxing sleep filled weekend in which I needed...next weekend is finding nemo so I am very excited about that...so the weekend ended w me goin home and stayin up till 3 watchin Quest For Camelot with Stef...and to my own suprise I was 5 minutes early even with the new hours of 9-6 starting today...so yea..today I am trying not to cry and trying to keep my spirits high...a year ago on this date ...which last year would have been memorial day..Eric and I got called out of Spiderman..I already new that My Grams wasn't gonna make it much longer but when I got home from Brad callin us outta the movie..she was already gone...o great here come the tears...I guess its good to cry tho..it shows how much I still love and miss her...I can still see her lying in that bed all frale and not breathing...aww grammy I miss you..so I get out at 6 ,and I am gonna set my vcr to record the finding nemo special on discovering on my lunch, then I will pick up Stef and Juls and head over to the cemetary with some flowers...I cant beleive it has been a whole year that we have been without her...Eric and I had just started dating then..it wasnt even 10 days and he hadta meet my whole family...on such horrible terms I felt so bad..but he was there for me...and now a year later ...he doesnt love me the same way ...and it breaks my heart to peices..I really wish Grams coulda met him ...I wish I had started dating him 2 years ago b4 she got very sick so she coulda saw the way he makes me happy...one day... I pray...the two of us will be back together...I am happy with what we have now...but I know I will always be wishing for more..with a face like his could u blame me ??
Leanne

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 24 May :: 3.28 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Our Lady Peace~One Man Army

fuk windows media updates lol
yea so I had my whole post finished and I click finish on updaes bloopp restart sob...so yea sorry Ihave been slackin on here ..I promise I will post here...jill made this for me so I gotta....update on the weekend so far ...last nite my intentions were to get to bed EARLYhaha so unless 5am is early that didnt happen. I went around 1am to fridays with eric for a june bug...then came home updated and posted new pix on the lj and had the most wacked convo with this boy bobby...mistaken identity lmfao....lol then we talked on the phone till 5 am and i just woke up about an hour ago ...my dad keyed me up and i gotta go there bc i left some stuff there and they are totally outta the house now so if i dont go and get it i will most likely never see it again..its all like dressy dresses from bermuda ..then i gotta get stefs fishy that she left there...so right now i am gonna make me a bagel and take a shower...peep the pix on the lj yall
www.livejournal.com/users/sumgrlzrkrazie
Leanne

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 22 May :: 1.08 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Jason Mraz~Waiting for my rocket to come~

Yo Leanne's got a live journal yipeee
yea ...so last nite i was up until about 330 trying it figure out all there is to know about live journal..i didnt get far lol...since its gonna rain all weekend and i have monday off i am gonna devote my weekend to trying to figure out the styles and shit so yea...i will be posting on both...so dont worry i aint leaving woohu...i just cant..miss jill made it for me ..and its much easier to use lol...so yea...ill be around both spots but definatly peep the live journal
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sumgrlzrkrazie/

got sumtin to say


:: 2003 21 May :: 10.43 am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: The buzzing of the computers

Tired...in pain...and sad
Well...last night was horrible...American Idol was great...but I had a fight w Eric again over something stupid like always...I dont understand how we went from being so compatible to having like "sibling rivalry" its retarted to say the least. So yea I feel last night...and I have a huge bruise on my leg..it is quite sore...and it matches my sprained finger lol...we wont even go there tho.
So yet ahead of me is another fine day at work...for some reason today I feel like it is my last day...like to live..I have this sick feeling in my stomach that is making me sick...its horrible...I think it may be bc of the dream I had last night...I had tried to kill myself...and I was in the hospital and my parents were ther...just my mom and dad...and then eric came to visit...and they had me in restraints on the bed...so I told the nurses not to let him in, bc I didnt want him to see me like that...it felt sooo real...like I think its contributing to my mood right now, seriously. I wonder about it sometimes...like if my mind goes back to that place ...would anyone forgive me...??? Sometimes I just get so frustrated and without medication its hard to control the breakdowns..and lately there have been far too many, there havent this many since christine and I split up over three years ago...it is very hard..for me to be alone..no one sees that...I need people to take care of..and when people take it and then reject it...it kills me...bc I feel like they are forcing me out..and I am so afraid of losing YOU...so afraid,...o great I am crying..that is enough ..I cant take to even right about IT and YOU right now...why can I just stop loving YOU...I need YOU to hold me right now...why cant YOU be here ....?!?
~Leanne

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:: 2003 20 May :: 11.19 am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria~The Second Stage Turbine Blade~Time Consumer

I miss Bermuda...
Ok...so last night somehow Eric and I got on the topic of our vacation and how we want to go back..and I started all teary bc I will never be able to afford it with having this apartment...hopefully I get a raise...but Eric is serious about going back...and if I have to I will work overnights...bermuda was the top three of island I have been too...this time tho...no excursions those shits were a waste of time..this time I am soaking up the beach and what that island has to offer...I am gonna come home with 90 rolls of film lol...I am not kidding either...I will borrow my dads digital video cam this time so I can put all that shit right on the computer and send it to everyone...god I am in love with Coheed and Cambria <3 Claudio...
So yea last night I went into a yahoo punk chat and I hate it bc everyone always wants to view my cam for porn purposes and I bought just so ppl can see who there talkin to not to ask me to do foul things ..and I dont wanna see your penis either so please drive thru lol...and this kid from the army starts talking to me..his name is Jamie and hes from Orange County baby...hes a bit adorable too..he had be crackin up for like two hours...he said it was 7 am where he was...and it was 1 am here so he musta been east of us..bc west is subtracted from our time so it woulda been night time there...i guess maybe he is out over in the middle east still or something its kinda sad...he told me hes been there for 8 months now...the poor thing...but god bless him tho...lord knows I wouldnt be able to do it. So I brought my cam with me to work today this way I can leave here and go take some pix before it gets dark and really get hot shots of the sunset...ill record american idol and watch it when I get home...i said something to stef last night about brad ...the nerve of her..i said i really dont appreciate brad sleeping here..shes like he feel asleep i fell asleep whats the big deal...shes gonna be kicked out soon i tell ya that much...its my place...i pay the bills there...its my rules or find a new place to live...ask my permission for shit ...its MY place ugg ill be back ..mad phone calls ...its ringin off the hook here

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:: 2003 19 May :: 4.12 pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Saves The Day~Through Being Cool

Why's it always nice out when I am working?!?!
I wanna be outside at the beach, the park...anywhere ..a playground...a field...anywhere but this desk...in front of this screen...I want the sun...I want the butterflies..the flowers...I want to leave this office...to play...I wanna take pictures...I wanna run a muk...someone...save me....

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:: 2003 18 May :: 3.38 am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Bonnie Raitt

I will explain this all later
"A Year Has Past" ~ To Silly Goose
I wish I could understand what you feel
To be inside your head to comprehend
You are the one I love
My heart is weak
To turn back time to the better days
Where our hearts connected
Without you I feel like nothing
Like I have fallen backwards with nothing to catch me
I remember the goosebumps I got the first time we kissed
The warmth around my heart when you first said I Love You
I believed it
I am not strong enough to understand what has happened between us
Yet I am not willing to let you go
For you are the love within me
The moments I look forward to in my day
I close my eyes so tight when we kiss
For I never want to forget that moment
I wish I could capture it in a bottle so I would always have it
Each time you hold me I pray it wont be the last
The fear I have inside me that you will leave
That someone better will come along
We will no longer have the bond we share
For all the times I have said I am sorry
All the times I have shed a tear
The memories I can't let go
The memories I hope we can make
I yern for you to understand what is inside me
Maybe that way you could understand my pain
For you mean the world to me
Nothing on earth can change that
You are my best friend
My one and only
That I will love and cherish forever
ok so this was to Eric...today woudla been our one year5-18-02 ooo wel...we have a great friendship goin on..the best I have ever had with anyone..he means the world to me and he knows it and I know I am special to him also...so thats that...he came down friday and we spent the night together...it was good just to sleep in his arms and nothing else..he left saturday afternoon and i went and got juli..we were gonna go tanning ...but we ended up goin to the store where I bought myself a digital video webcam for like 30 bux ...and I bought a lil Squirt toy....aww.aww..hes so cute...Finding Nemo is gonna rock...so anyway yea we did that than went to freehold mall...oh yea I went to the mall friday too and got a new LTJ shirt...nifty neeto...so um yea freehold..me stef juls and alex went..it was fun..stef finally picked outa dress...so we could leave..then we hit up the checkers on 9 and went back and got stefs stuff for her to move in...so today I went food shopping and whatnot and did the usual Sunday Queer as Folk with Eric and now stef and brad are sleeping on my couchbed...which is a NO NO I said she could live here...and its her first night and hes sleeping here...this is gonna cause trouble...I pay a lot of money to live here...and its not gonna be the place for them to hang out..ifhe comes over to see her fine...but to sleep here ...NOPE not fine...not unless I am asked!!! THIS IS MY PLACE >>>MY HOME>>>WHERE I PAY THE BILLS....ok so now I am heading off to sleepy land...bc I am exhausted...I will be back later with a better elaboration on this weekend..that is the shorthand version
Ta Ta
Leanne

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:: 2003 16 May :: 12.16 pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: NFG~My Friends Over You

God Damn Clouds
So Yea....yesterday ended up being one of the worst days at my job EVER!! I got so busy so quickly that I felt like my insides were gonna boil over with fury. But then one of my bosses came in and ask me if I was gonna change my hours soon and if I found another job and I said I wasnt sure yet but that I needed to do something bc I cant stand having to count out my pennies and he said he would talk to Lisa my other boss that I work with all day long about giving me a raise !!! WOOHOOO!!! So atleast the day ended well....I was talking to Eric and decided to go spend the night up there with him...to sort of get a way from here and calm down...so I got there and he made me dinner...it was very good....I am not a big seafood eater so its rare to see me eat it besides batter dipped cod from chicken town woot woot hahaha...but yea he made me pasta with carrots, corn, brocolli, garlic and shrimp....i ate the whole thing...mmm mmm good ...thanks babe hehe...then we watched some will and grace and i counted down the minutes till the lunar eclipse...now when I got the Eric's there was a clear shot if the moon right in his parking lot ...and two hours later it was like the fukin clouds took over the sky,....god damn smog and shit up in jersey...it was so cloudy...we drove around for an hour on bridges and shit to try and see it ....i was so upset...if ya'll dont know already...I'm Leanne and I am a BIG NERD for astronomy....ask Stef and Gillian ...one night me and Gillian stayed up all night long about a year or so ago and watched the meteor shower...gosh I wish I stuck with school....ugh enough of that...I work hard every day ...no depressed babble...I look damn good today...I feel good today...and its gonna stay that way....I think its the music....I am rockin up a mix cd I made with NFG, Jimmy Eat World...The Ataris OLP...Audiovent...and Tonic...I must say Jimmy Eat World REALLY MAKES ME WANNA DANCE....and oh yea...who has sweetness as a ring tone...oh yea u know it ...lol so yea I left Eric's at like 650 and got home around 750 and slept till about 920 so hes supposed to come down here tonight ...and were most likely gonna hit up Rhi's prom party...aw Miss Rhi she is soo beautiful...if you read this babe I love you...whens our wedding >>> hehehe...so yea we just ordered lunch from Pudgys and mmm Pudgy Wudgies mmm theres nothing in the world like a Pudgy Wudgie heh ...so I am gonna try to tend to the left over mess work from yesterday...I hope this crap ass weather goeas away ...how am I supposed to be all happy if this weather blows goats ??? I'll be back later ....
****Leanne****

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