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:: 2004 22 May :: 2.37 am
:: Mood: extremely sad and lonely

hmm today was Friday. Nothing new really. Armando is hard to read. I think he likes me but then i always see him talking to Julia and stuff. I dont know. He said he wanted to prove to me that what happened on Friday was serious. How is he to prove that? Right now i just felt like it was revenge to get back at his girlfriend. That day plays over and over in my mind like a silent movie. I looked at him more closely, like i'd never seen him before. Lying there on the grass with his head blocking out the sun, him leaning over me, i'd never felt to open. So vulnerable. His hand in my hair warm lips caressing mine. It felt so right. His eyes were gorgeous. A perfect shade of chocolate brown that i love. He has 2 little scars above the right side of his lip that i failed to notice before. I felt so good, lying there under him with his fingers tickling the inside of my right arm and under my shirt on my stomach and side. That day i looked up at the sky and never realized how blue it really was. I fell in love with every little imperfection in him. Hes amazing. Hes not perfect, not even close, but hes amazing.

My fortune from my fortune cookie at dinner: Star light, star bright. Your wish will come true tonight.

:shrugs: My only wish is to be with Armando and for him not to hurt me anymore. Well, since there's only 30 minutes left in 'tonight' i guess thats not happening. :\

Today is fire and she b u r n s

Armando: If i score on Sunday i'm dedicating my goal to you.
Armando: Kay purtyful?

It seems like he likes me right? :shrugs:

Damn i'm lonely. These are the times when my depression takes over. :( All i want right now is to be with him. Just have him hold me in his arms. Just to be near him. Thats all i want.


Now im falling a p a r t.
Total eclipse of the heart.

1 Rolled down my cheek | A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 21 May :: 8.15 pm
:: Mood: undecided
:: Music: The Offspring

Now i stand here, betrayed and broken.
hm yeah i've been off of the computer for this week beacause i had two Ds on my progress report. Psh...

Monday- Eh, nothing too special. One of my blander, non-exciting days of the week.

Tuesday- This was one of my depressed, saddish days. On Friday Armando said he was giving Juilia until Monday and then he was "cutting her off." Well here we are on Tuesday he was still with her. At lunch he has his hand flipped over on the desk so no one could read it, but i had seen it already. It sais Armando <3 Julia. So yeah i was all sad and shit, just pretty much sitting there thinking all lunch. Then i was walking to 6th period with Joana and he was over with Julia and her huge group of loud annoying friends. They were like "C'mon i wanna see you guys hug and kiss. You dont even act like you're going out." He knew i had just walked by and i looked back trying not to be obvious to see if he would kiss her. Then she was like "Im gonna be late for class" and started walking down to her class. He waited for a second and then followed her. He walked he bascially all the way to class and, well, i could still see them. He kissed her and i just about brang me to tears. All 6th period all i wanted to do was break down and cry. It sucks seeing the guy you're in love with kissing someone else. Bleh...

Mr. Orton and Mr. Davis are on administrative leave for letting the kids use the computers in their class and they watched the beheading on Nick Berg in Iraq. I guess a couple of the kids went home and told their parents they had seen it in their class and their parents called and complained to Mr. Perry. So now the teachers are basically messed up is that? It was their TAs who showed it anyways.

Wednesday- It was okayish until about 6th period, then things started looking up. Jimi told Julia in second period about Armando and i on Friday. She didn't believe her. So then i guess Fez and Monique were talking about us loud in front of one of Julia's friends and i guess she went and told Julia. So then at lunch i was walking with Jo and Jimi out to the soccer feild and one of Julia's friends comes up to me and goes, "Hey, can i talk to you? You better stay away from her man, because you dont know who you're messing with. We'll kick your ass." lmao i just laughed in her face. I found it quite hilarious that "her man" is the one coming to me, dumb bitch. XD and also the fact that Julia didn't have to balls to come up to me and tell me that herself, she had to send one of her stupid little friends. XD so yeah then we walked out the the feild and Joana took Branden's jacket and she goes "C'mon Manda, get Armando's jacket. We're going under-cover." lol so i took his jacket and put it on. Man, was it big but damn it was warm and it smelled so good. Well, probably not good to other people, but it smelled like Armando. So to me it was the best XD. I wore it all 6th period and man, i think i smelled it like everyother second. So then i was walking with JO to the bathroom and i put my hands in the pockets and there was a letter in there. Being the curious, coughnoseycough, person i am...I read it. I was from Julia. It said something like "I want to know why you broke up with me. If it was because of Ben i kinda thought you let that go. I tryed to make our realationship work and i have been talking to you and hanging out with you more. I wanted to be with you for as long as possible...yada, yada, yada." Hunny, you just got dumped. XD. So yeah i had written him a letter the night before and it basically told him how i felt so i decided to leave it in this pocket. I gave him his jacket back. Man, lol i so wanted to steal it. I probably would have slept with it. lol it smelled oh so good. Oh yeah so i walked out to the car and i looked back at him and the first thing he did was put jacket on and put his hand in the pocket. Then i saw him look back at me. lol he found it. Then later that night we were talking and he goes "Oh yeah, i broke up with Julia today." I asked him why and he said, "Well ya know how i told you we were having problems on Friday or whenever well thats why. And she found out about us on Friday. She wanted to take me back no matter what, but i didn't want to go out with her anymore." Then he was kinda quiet and goes, "And, i did it for you. I wanted to prove that what happened on Friday was serious." You should have seen the smile on my face. :D lol i was so happy. Then he said, "I noticed the look on your face Tuesday at lunch. It wasn't happy. And your poem/letter you gave me today. Did i really makey you that sad?" I told him "yeah, sorta." and he said, "Aww, that sucks. I'll make yup for it though." :D So im guessing thats a good thing. He said he told Julia to leave me alone. Im not scared of her or he little friends but i really dont feel like dealing with their bullshit right now. So yeah...

Friday- [will be added later tonight.]

<3 Amanda

Deep inside secret's burning
I Should have known all the while what's true
I went along, to fool myself
Can't go on, I can't escape it

All along
I think I really knew
It was there in the words unspoken
All along
Still believed in you
Now I stand here betrayed and broken

Close my eyes from the burning
All along all the while it's true
Take it on, or turn your back
Either way, you can't escape it

2 Rolled down my cheek | A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 16 May :: 4.22 pm

Hmm yeah...yesterday we had two games. We played San Pedro the first game at 8:00 and lost 2-1. They scored in the last minute because our defense screwed up and wouldn't clear the ball out. :growl: I was pissed. lol then i went home and hung out with Lindsay and Jimi and we ate tacos from Jack in the Box and watched premier league soccer. Well, i watched it lol. Arsenal won the championship. They were undefeated. Holy man, my sexy man Ronaldo is on the team. :swoons: He's number 7 too. lol 7 is Armando's number in case ya didn't know. :D Arsenal is Armando's favorite team. lol its my second fav, Manchester United is my favorite. And, well, Real Madrid is my third favorite because Mr David Beckham plays for them. woo lol anyways...Then we went back to the feild like at 2:30 and we played. We tied 2-2 so wasn't that bad but it still wasn't winning.

My game ended at like 5:00 and i ran home and took a super fast shower and dryed my hair and did my makeup in lightning speed lol. Joana picked me up and i went to St. John Bosco to help her work this fiesta thing for her church. lol i was like "Heck yea, ill go...Bosco Boys lol." There wasn't any smexy guys there though. @.@ We got there at like 6 and stayed 'till 10. We just pretty much sat in this game room thing with playstation 2 and X-Box and a tv and stuff and took peoples tickets. I met Jo's friend Angel. He's pretty cool. He goes to Downey but is getting expelled and is being charged with assault and battery because he beat some guy up and hit him with his cast he had from another fight. XD. He was nice though. He was making fun of us because sometimes when jo and i are talking we'll just look at eachother and know what eachother is thinking. lol. He was like "I've never chilled with two girls at one time, this is weird." haha. XD. So yeah....then i went over to Jo's so she could show me her new house. It's really nice, they have a pool and everything. I love her room. So yeah then her mom took me home and i was talking to Omar and my dad told me to get off the phone and go to bed. So i told him i had to go. This was like almost 11:00. Then i was in the bathroom getting ready to braid my hair and Armando called. lol i was sitting in the bathroom on the floor talking to him so i wouldn't get in trouble. lmao i talked to him for 2 hours until 1:00 in the morning. I was in the bathroom for the whole time and my ass was asleep from sitting on the floor for so long. XD he was so funny...
Armando: So did you have fun friday?
Me: I sure did, did you?
Armando: Yep
Armando: Man, Friday was crazy
me: Crazy, but good.
Armando: Crazy, but good, and enjoyable.
Me: Yes it was
Armando: Hey you made me
Me: No, i didn't make you do anything
Armando: Yes you did
Me: Nah ahh
Armando: Yes huh
Armando: You tied my hands
Me: No, you're the one who had my hands
Armando: No way

lol. You should have seen the smile on my face. :D then i told him i was sad because he didn't go to my games and he said he was gonna try. I was like you better go tomorow or else im gonna be even more sad. He was like okay ill try. :( He never showed up. And i scored with my left foot too. >.< Dumbass, he made me sad. Im serious. we won 8-0. I told him we'd win but he still didn't come. :cries: lol just kidding. He has a game at 3:00 or else i'd call him and tell him to come to our next game. We play semifinals in a little bit. :growl: this was his last chance to see me play this season because al our other games are away. Oh well, i guess. Well i better go get something tp eat. buh bye

<\3 Amanda

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 15 May :: 1.47 am

Me and Armando...

BR0KEN STAR xo (10:00:04 PM): hi
amandizo7 (10:00:12 PM): hi
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:00:17 PM): whats up?
amandizo7 (10:00:44 PM): not much
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:00:56 PM): i see
amandizo7 (10:01:29 PM): and u
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:01:36 PM): the same pretty much
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:05:06 PM): so...
amandizo7 (10:05:38 PM): so....
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:05:48 PM): lol
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:06:24 PM): you still have a gf dont you?
amandizo7 (10:06:51 PM): ummm
amandizo7 (10:06:55 PM): yea
amandizo7 (10:07:04 PM): but things aren't that good
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:07:12 PM): oh
amandizo7 (10:07:27 PM): hold on i'll give you the info right now
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:07:31 PM): okay
amandizo7 (10:13:17 PM): k i'm back
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:13:30 PM): kk
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:16:22 PM): so us, today, meant what?
amandizo7 (10:16:42 PM): well it happens to be that my girlfriend has been talking to other guys and her friends told me about it
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:16:59 PM): oh
amandizo7 (10:17:35 PM): i asked if it was true and she denied it at first but then she told me that they were just friends
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:18:13 PM): but you dont believe her?
amandizo7 (10:20:42 PM): so i'm mad about that
amandizo7 (10:21:23 PM): but if she doesn't prove that her friends are wrong on monday then i'm cutting her off
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:21:35 PM): so was us today just to get back at her?
amandizo7 (10:21:50 PM): no don't take it that way
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:22:06 PM): then how do i take it?
amandizo7 (10:22:22 PM): i really enjoyed the time that i spent with you today
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:22:35 PM): so did i
amandizo7 (10:22:43 PM): it was like a dream and i didn't wanna wake up
amandizo7 (10:22:53 PM): you get me
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:22:57 PM): yea
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:23:19 PM): i just dont want to be something on the side, thats not fair
amandizo7 (10:25:18 PM): inoe how you feel amanda
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:25:41 PM): okay
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:26:01 PM): and i dont want to get hurt again
amandizo7 (10:26:16 PM): and trust me i don't want to have you like an unkown obsticle next to me
amandizo7 (10:26:29 PM): you mean a lot to me
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:27:30 PM): okay
amandizo7 (10:28:55 PM): the last thing that i wanna do to you right now is hurt you more than what i already did in the past
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:29:36 PM): thankyou
amandizo7 (10:30:05 PM): for what
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:30:23 PM): not wanting to hurt me
amandizo7 (10:30:46 PM): oh it's nothing
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:31:00 PM): its something to me
amandizo7 (10:31:30 PM): see, today was a proof of me not wanting to hurt you
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:32:06 PM): yea, except for the fact that you have a gf
amandizo7 (10:33:01 PM): i know that was my mistake today
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:33:46 PM): because now you've got my hopes up
amandizo7 (10:34:25 PM): but oh maan! i couldn't help it, you were right there in front of me and i hadn't had you like that in a long time
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:34:50 PM): i guess
amandizo7 (10:34:51 PM): it was just so irresistable
BR0KEN STAR xo (10:35:17 PM): hey i have to get offline so call me if you want k

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 14 May :: 8.55 pm
:: Mood: somewhere between happy and terribly confused and
:: Music: Pat Benatar || Heartbreaker

You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Dont you mess around with me
Woo yeah this week has been purty good, not the best but it was good. Today on the hand was another

So yeah school was, eh, boring. XD at 6th period we almost had a cat fight. Sal wasn't there today so Mr. Davis was our sub and he was outside talking to some teacher. Denise and Krysi and Melissa have something unknown against Joana. lmao on day Jo and i were talking and she said something about them being 'wanna-be surfers' XD the funny thing is, they so are. Haha so i guess Miguel was there too and he told Krysi and Krysi was like "If you have something to say fuckin' say it to my fuckin' face." haha then Jo goes "Okay" So yeah...the rest of it was Denise likes Daniel. haha i told him and he goes. "Oh my god, that horse?!" XD yes "that horse." So yea I was sitting over by Jo and Jimi and Kiri and Monique and they said something about Daniel and then Jimi, knowing Denise likes him, goes "Who does Daniel like now?" And i was being all loud and i said "Duh, Joana." lmao. Then Denise, under her breath goes "Yeah thats why hes not going out with her anymore." Stupid bitch, hes not going out with her because he respects his parents. Lmao and if it weren't for his parent he and Jo would still be together. XD He wouldn't want to go out with that fat bitch anyways. lmao we were making fun of her like loudly, but i doubt she knew we were talking about her. Okay, at banquet, she wore this ugly, tight white skirt with granny panties. XD you could see them and disgusting. So yeah, she was wearing that skirt today and we were making fun of her. haha. Im completely on Jo's side for this whole "ordeal." Oh haha and the only reason Melissa told Daniel that Krysi wanted her to come to her party was because Denise likes him. Duh, why else. He said he wasn't going. I dont know if im going either. The twins are going to be there and i could just see the drama now. Anyways...this wasn't the "whole 'nother story" part.

Armando told me to stay after school and play soccer so i was like okay and i stayed. Miquel O'Maly was there and Daniel, and Wade and Daniel's brother, Alex. So their ride came and they left. Now its just Armando and i and Miguel. Then like 10 minutes later miguel's mom came and then i was just mre and Armando. :D lol. So we shot and crossed and stuff and then we had this bet that whoever scored the most P.K.s got to give the loser sex hair. Long story short, i lost. So yeah my hair got sextified. Woo. Anyways, we shot around some more and then he sat down and goes its halftime. lol alright. so i sat down kinda next to him. Then he started throwing flowers and grass in my hair and i was throwing then back. And then he was trying to mess up my hair some more and so i messed up his. Then i rolled over so i was laying on the ground and he sorta leaned on top of me and held my hands above my head and messed my hair up with the other. So yeah...then we were like wrestling and throwing grass and floweres at eachother and then he pinned me down again and held my hands and just looked at me. Then i was like "What?" And then he leaned down and kissed me. Of course i kissed him back, im in love with the kid. What else was i supposed to do? so yeah then we stayed till 4:00 just talking......and kissing lol. The only thing bad is he still does have a girlfriend. God, i wonder how many girls he's cheated on. Seriously. This isn't fair to me. For him to get my hopes up like this and then hurt me again. It just isn't fair. I dont know what to do. I dont know if he likes me or what. Im so confused. He kissed Melissa just for the hell of it so he very well could have did the same to me. God, why am i the one always getting screwed over. Us kissing just felt, so right. I dont know how else to put it. It felt good. I've missed being close to him so much. It took me 45 minutes to walk home but i didn't even realize it took me that long because i was lost in my thoughts. The flipping sky could have fallen and i wouldn't have noticed. Damn, now i've got myself in tears again because im so confused. I dont know what to do. My heart is telling me to give him another chance to tel him everything you feel and ignore what everyone else thinks. But my head is telling me to not give in, because all im gonna end up with is a broken heart. Im tired of being stepped on, but ive been told to follow my heart. well, i guess im gonna go and see if he calls me. :shrugs: Goodbye

<\3 Amanda

I told Melissa what happened. I dont know if that was such a good idea, she going to tell Krysi and Denise the first chance she gets and then it'll be all over the place. Damnit.


lckyducky613 (9:03:53 PM): hey
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:03:58 PM): hola
lckyducky613 (9:04:03 PM): whats up?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:08 PM): nothing much u/
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:10 PM): u?
lckyducky613 (9:04:14 PM): nothin
lckyducky613 (9:04:19 PM): so did you win today?
lckyducky613 (9:04:20 PM): lol
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:23 PM): lol no...i lost
lckyducky613 (9:04:27 PM): aww
lckyducky613 (9:04:29 PM): what happened?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:45 PM): haha we took pks and he scored one more than me
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:48 PM): rawr
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:04:49 PM): lol
lckyducky613 (9:04:50 PM): haha
lckyducky613 (9:05:02 PM): so what did you lose? like what happened?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:05:11 PM): lol he gave me sex hair
lckyducky613 (9:05:16 PM): haha
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:05:30 PM): yea it sucked, it was all messed up
lckyducky613 (9:05:33 PM): how long did you guys stay after?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:05:44 PM): like until 4 i think
lckyducky613 (9:05:52 PM): oo wow!
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:06:04 PM): yup yup
lckyducky613 (9:06:14 PM): anything else happen?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:06:18 PM):
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:06:21 PM): lol
lckyducky613 (9:06:30 PM):
lckyducky613 (9:06:35 PM): what else happened?!?!?!
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:06:42 PM): lmao...he kissed me
lckyducky613 (9:06:52 PM): are you serious?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:06:56 PM): yes
lckyducky613 (9:07:01 PM): wow!
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:07:11 PM): yeah
lckyducky613 (9:07:23 PM): like a peck or tounge?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:07:33 PM): XD no comment
lckyducky613 (9:07:38 PM): tounge
lckyducky613 (9:08:31 PM): did he break up with his gf?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:08:52 PM): i dont think so
lckyducky613 (9:09:10 PM): what did you do when he kissed you?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:09:32 PM): he had me pinned down so i kissed him back loil
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:09:34 PM): lol*
lckyducky613 (9:09:40 PM): whoa! amanda
lckyducky613 (9:09:45 PM): how did he have you pinned down?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:11:23 PM): lol well we were like messing up eachothers hair and throwing flowers and grass and then iono lol
lckyducky613 (9:11:36 PM): oo
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:11:53 PM): dont tell anyone k?
lckyducky613 (9:12:02 PM): dang thats another gf he cheated on
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:12:07 PM): ..i know
lckyducky613 (9:12:20 PM): dang i would never get with him
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:13:06 PM): :shrugs: im probably just gonna end up getting hurt again
lckyducky613 (9:13:16 PM): are you gonna get back with him?
lckyducky613 (9:13:42 PM): or would you?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:13:45 PM): i dont know
lckyducky613 (9:14:26 PM): honestly i think thats a dumb move if you do....b/c he juss cheated on another one of his gf's
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:15:07 PM): yea
lckyducky613 (9:15:24 PM): did you invite him to our games this weekend?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:15:43 PM): he said he was gonna try to go
lckyducky613 (9:16:03 PM): oo
lckyducky613 (9:16:47 PM): did you talk to him today after you guys practiced?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:17:14 PM): no he said he was gonna call me
lckyducky613 (9:17:18 PM): oo
lckyducky613 (9:17:37 PM): do you talk to him alot on the phone?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:17:46 PM): like every night
lckyducky613 (9:17:52 PM): dang
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:17:59 PM): lol
lckyducky613 (9:18:00 PM): what do you 2 talk about?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:18:10 PM): iono
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:18:19 PM): nothing special
lckyducky613 (9:18:19 PM): does he like you?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:18:34 PM): :shrugs:
lckyducky613 (9:18:44 PM): you dont know?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:18:54 PM): no
lckyducky613 (9:19:00 PM): oo
lckyducky613 (9:19:04 PM): he is such a player
lckyducky613 (9:24:41 PM): anywho...
lckyducky613 (9:27:41 PM): are you there?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:27:50 PM): yepper
lckyducky613 (9:28:04 PM): what are you doing?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:28:20 PM): um nothin really
lckyducky613 (9:28:28 PM): oo
lckyducky613 (9:28:34 PM): your not talking very mucho
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:28:55 PM): i know...i dont have much to say
lckyducky613 (9:29:00 PM): why not?!
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:29:07 PM): iono
lckyducky613 (9:31:10 PM): oo akie dakie
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:31:21 PM): uh huh
lckyducky613 (9:31:33 PM): are you thinkin about mando?
BR0KEN STAR xo (9:31:44 PM): ...yea
lckyducky613 (9:31:50 PM): oo
lckyducky613 (9:32:08 PM): well i hope you make a good choice if he wants to get back with you

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 13 May :: 1.04 am

If I let you, you would make me destroy myself. But in order to survive you, I must first survive myself. I can sink no further and I cannot forgive you. There's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you. I've gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain. I will use my mistakes against you. There's no other choice. Shameless now. Nameless now. Nothing now. No one now. But my soul must be iron cause my fear is naked. I'm naked and fearless

[more of an update about this week tomorow >.<]

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 10 May :: 9.43 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Kokomo || The Beach Boys

Aruba, Jamaica, ooo i wanna take ya!
Yep this weekend was pretty coolioness. I talked to Armando for 2 hours on the phone on Friday night, like an hourish on the computer Saturday night and and hour and a half on the phone last night. Weee. lol

Saturday i went to the movies and saw Van Helsing That movie rawked!! lol. I was awesome, y0.

Sunday was Mother's Day as we all know. We went to breakfast/lunch at Johnny Rebs and then my mom and i went to the mall. I bought a new skirt and some new smexy i only where four on each wrist XD. Then i came home and talked on the telefono with Armando ^.^ ...thats about it. at lunch Tori grabbed my ass. lol she didn't just smack it she full on grabbed it. XD i had a skirt on too. Then 6th period she was trying to put a sticker on me and she grabbed my boob...on purpose lol. I LOVE YEW TORI!! XD <333

Today lol was a purty good day actually. XD in second period we were taking notes and i threw a peice of paper at Armando. lol he turned around and i was laughing but he thought it was Armando. lol then i confessed and said it was me. haha me, flirting much? lmao then at lunch Jo and i got Miguel to hold Armando while i gave him sex hair. Hr moved away but i still kinda got him. Then he and Omar and Miguel decided to get us, so our hair was messed up by the end of lunch lol. Then Mr. Irving made us get out of his class so he could go get lunch, so we were standing outside his classroom and Miguel held Armando and i got him good. lol. His hair was all fluffy and i made all the gel come out. XD it was sexy. So yeah....he had to practice like that. Woo, i told you we were gonna get him. Then after school Jo and i ditched Sal's class like 10 minutes early and went out to the feild. lol. Armando was walking away when the bell rings and my hair was all messed up and blowing all over in the wind and he goes "Hey you have sex hair." lol i was like "You like it?" and he goes "I love it." lol. ;D. So yea we'll see if he calls me tonight.

I have practice in 5 minutes and im gonna be ill update more later. Adios. -.^

<3 Amanderz!

x[Inside Joke]x The running bananas!!! haha.

Bramuda, bahama, come on pretty mama!

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 9 May :: 2.31 am
:: Mood: happy

You think im doing fine, its easier to believe a lie.
:D Weeee...i finally got enough courage to to him i like him. lol. And i think he gave me kind of a good response eh? Yes i think so. He convinced me to let him read my poems too. I dont know if thats such a good idea but hey they're all about him, well most of them, so maybe it is a good idea. If i cant tell him verbally maybe i can tell him how i feel in a written way. It could work. lol awww and he wanted to spend more time with me? :D I was seriously blushing. My cheeks were all hot. Man, i like him A LOT....our convo follows:

armando: hi
me: whatcha doin?
armando: nothin, chillin at the holidae iiiinnnnnn!
me: lmao riiight!
armando: you?
me: um nothing really just watchin tv
me: ...sorta lol
armando: suure!
me: yup
armando: how was your day?
me: it was okie dokie
me: urs?
armando: okie dokie too , i guess.
me: oh how come you guess?
armando: i dunno
me: i see
me: what did ya do today?
armando: i went to my cusins
armando: thats about it
me: cooio
me: coolio* lol
armando: are u there
me: am i where? lol
armando: oo there you are
me: haha i never left
armando: riight!
me: no im serious i was sittin' right here the whole time
armando: w/e!
me: no not w/e! lol
armando: j/k!
me: suuure
me: oh im calm
armando: good
me: haha yup yup
armando: what do you have planned for tomorrow
me: um breakfast with my mom and grandma in the morning for mother's day, then maybe goin' to the mall...but i dont know what else
me: you?
armando: nice
armando: well, i'll have to get up early to cook breakfast for my mom and then jump in the showerto go to my game and after my game we're gonna take my mom to lunch
me: ah sounds fun
armando: i'm nervouse about making breakfast
armando: i think i'm gonna over cook it
me: aww lol
me: i cant cook
me: well i can, sorta
me: holy man, okay back
armando: cool
me: lol niiice info
armando: holy maan
armando: i didn't write it
me: lol i know you told me
armando: i'm gonna delete it later on
me: suure
armando: sorry i got kicked off
me: its alright
me: brb
me: okie...back
me: hey guess what?
armando: chicken butt!
me: no!
armando: j/k
armando: what
me: my eye hurts XD
armando: aawww!
me: im serious
me: so whatcha up to?
armando: not much and you?
me: the same
armando: where's you r sis at?
me: she asleep...thank god lol
armando: how mean]
me: no....shes mean lol
armando: no you're mean
me: hey hey
me: no i am not
armando: wow calm down
armando: i was j/k
me: lol i know so was i
armando: oh good
armando: you got me scared therer for a sec.
armando: there*
me: haha
armando: aawww. how mean
me: rawr
armando: oh yea. RAAAWWWRRR!!!!!
me: no way rawr is my word
armando: i don't see your name on it
me: yep see theres an 'a' in it...thats an 'a' for amanda
me: duh
me: and no...dont try to say its an 'a' for doesn't work that way
me: :-P
armando: aawww! maan!
me: lol i won!!
armando: fine it's an "a" for both armando and amanda
me: okay fin
me: fine*
armando: yea now wat
armando: haa!
me: haha
me: okay so we both win?
me: or half win?
me: lol
armando: maan! fine
me: lol
armando: cool
me: you know it
armando: yuo
armando: yup*
me: lol
me: :whispers: yellow is the best color in the world!!
me: :-D
armando: :whispers: not really
armando: grey is!
me: lol no way
armando: yes way
me: naope
armando: yellow is ugly
me: rawr no its not
me: lol
armando: yes it is
me: uh no
armando: uh yes
me: man, i am bored!
armando: so...whats up with you and omar!;-)
me: lol...nothing
armando: suure
me: no im serious
me: i dont like him
armando: wasn't he trying to get with you or something like that
me: lol i dont know
armando: suure lover gurl
me: psh im serious
armando: uh huh
me: @.@
armando: anyone that you like in general?
me: no...
me: coughyoucough
armando: oohhhh... i get it
armando: coughmecough
me: yes lol
armando: oh really
me: yep
armando: how interesting
me: ya think?
armando: okay! okay! how cool!
me: lol
me: its cool?
armando: well fine , i'll admit it. it makes me happy to know that
me: :-Dreally?
armando: yea
me: okay
armando: whats wrong are you in shock
me: in shock?
armando: i dunno . you're not saying anything
me: iono what to say
armando: how many screen names do you have?
me: 2ish lol
me: i dont like the other one thats my aol sn
armando: oh
armando: i haven't read your profile
armando: i'm gonna read it
me: okay
armando: wow that's deep
armando: you wrote that?
me: wrote what?
armando: that poem in your profile
me: which one?
me: ive written a zillion poems lol
armando: i only read one of them .
me: which one?
armando: so go on, wreck me
me: nope thats my favorite song quote
armando: oh
armando: it's
armando: very touching
me: lol
armando: so you've writtten poems all your life
armando: ??
me: no just um...recently lol
me: ive written like 29 i think
armando: since
armando: when?
me: just recently
armando: that's alot of poems
me: yep
me: psh they're bad though
armando: can i read em
me: um if you really want to
armando: take em to school on monday
me: okay
armando: alright!!
me: lol
armando: did you get soccer pictures
me: for school?
me: yeah
armando: do you still have extras?
me: yea but i dun like them
armando: oh well can i have one?
me: lol i guess
armando: thank you
me: haha anytime
armando: oh maan
armando: it's getting late]
me: i know
armando: i'll let you go cuz i need to wake up at 6:30 am
me: aww lol okay
armando: i have a game
armando: i know ... i wanted to spend more time with you
me: :blushes:
me: lol
armando: but maybe another day
armando: kae
me: kay
armando: well good nit
armando: sweet dreams
me: k you too!
me: night
armando: yea!
armando: buh bye
me: byez

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 8 May :: 4.16 pm

Hands into a fist, Static in my head.
Now im sitting face to face with lonliness.

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 8 May :: 4.15 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: FiNCH!!!! <33xinfinity.

Wow lol. I just got off the phone with Armando. We talked for 2 hours lol. Right now, my hopes are so high that i pray he doesn't send them crashing down. I like him so much, and god, do i miss him. XD yesterday i talked to him on the phone for like an hour and he called me Armanda on accident. lol we were cracking up. It was funny because it just came out of no where. haha then today i was walking with Joana after school out to the feild and she goes "Hey Armando, c'mon over here so we can give you sex hair." lol then he said he was gonna tie me down to a chair at lunch and do it to me. haha i was like "You'll have to catch me first." XD. Im gonna get him on Monday at lunch. We usually all go into/outside Mr. Irving's room and he's usually on the computer closest to the door. haha and when he least expects it im gonna come up behind him and give him sex hair. YES! lol its an awesome plan. :evil laugh: ...and then he doesn't have practice on Monday so he'll have to sit through 6th period in Coach Headley's room with his gorgeous sex hair. Yes, lol this is gonna be fun. Anyways...

I'm sorry, but red's my color now
guess you got to me somehow
this mistake is breaking me,
she said.

Tonight i was gonna go to the carnival over at Mayfair Park but i decided not to. Omar and Miguel were the ones who invited me. Not Krysi or Melissa, so i was like whatever im not going. They didn't even call me or anything to see if i was going, Miguel called me. Psh, im glad i didn't go. It was just Miguel, Omar, Krysi, Denise, Melissa, the girl, Nikki[the bitch], and Nikki's little brother. I hate Nikki with a passion. :growl: So im kinda good i didn't go. I guess Melissa called Armando to see if he could go and he told her he couldn't because he had homework. lol i think that was just an excuse. I've told Melissa that Armando and i are talking again. :shrugs: Whatever, she still flirts with him right in front of me. But i hope she's jealous because she asked me how long i talked to him for and i was like an hour and a half on Thursday. Woo lol she was like "Holy man." :D. I told her he was staying after to teach me how to bend the ball too. Hopefully that'll happen sometime next week. We were supposed to stay today but he got in trouble last night and his mom wouldn't let him stay. lol o well. Then he said if he could stay what if we couldn't get a ball out of the bin. He had this great idea that we'd condition. XD i was like "Heck no, im not conditioning." lol he said we were gonna run 5 greens. @.@ Yeah right. He said we'd run them slow and on the last one if i couldn't make it he'd carry me. XD. lol, that could get interesting. haha man, then today i was talking to him and my cat was laying on my stomach and he goes "Oh you must be comfortable." XD then he goes "Actually you are comfortable, well from what i remember." haha it seems like he likes me but iono. He's still with that she-man, Julie. rofl. Hopefully that wont last for long. XD. haha and you know how i was freaking out about his profile thing? lmao Miguel wrote that on there he didn't. lol i feel so stupid.

Today is just like all the others
I'm not alright i've cried my last tears
I'm bleeding out my pain as you scream at me

lmao....i just realized that this entry is back to Armando. Notice when i ended that first paragraph ^ it was supposed to start a new topic. lol. Whatever...

I failed my algebra test, but i still have a B in that class. Yeesh.

<3ish Armanda....XD lol.

x[Inside Joke]x Yellow is not an ugly is! lol.

You've got me waiting by myself
I never wanted more than this
What will it take to get the truth
I'm on my knees

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 6 May :: 8.29 pm
:: Mood: happyish
:: Music: the radio || KROQ 106.7

It hurts to breathe, imagine how it hurts to laugh
Eee, yes last night was a very good night. I went to my dads house as usual and i was on the computer and then Jake called me. This isn't really this good part but anyways. I've realized by our conversation that Jake and i have a lot in common. He told me something he's never told anyone else. He has serious depression, but he hides it well. Thats why hes always hyper, doing crazy stuff and why most people find him annoying. Me, not one of them. I love Jake he's awesome. Anyways, he told me something else that very few people know and it kind of scared me. He was going to kill himself a while back. When Kalie broke up with him, is when things started getting bad. I wanted to tell him about my depression, ecetera. Maybe next time we talk i will. It'll be nice to have someone to relate to who really knows what im going through. Then we were talking about who lives near me and he asked exactly where i lived. lol so i told him and he goes "I coming over, ill be there in like 20 minutes." lol i was like "Okay." So yea he came over and we just sat on my porch and talked. It was cool, i haven't talked to him in a while.

And here's the good part. ARMANDO. CALLED. ME. lol yippeeeeeee! haha it was one of those things, where my phone rang, i saw it was a blocked number and i knew it was him. We talked for like an hour and 20 minutes. It was like old times. It felt so good to laugh with him again, yet the whole time all i wanted to do was spill my heart out and tell him everything i feel towards him. But i didn't, i dont know where to start. Maybe next time i talk to him ill tell him i miss him. Yes, maybe ill start there, with something simple. My cheeks hurt when i got off the phone because i was smiling the whole time. :D It felt so good to finally talk to him again. Ya know? XD he said hes scared of me because everytime i look at him i give him dirty looks. haha No buddy, those aren't dirty looks. lol. I sorta roped him into teaching me how to bend the ball for a corner kick. So hopefully that'll happen soon. Today, i was in a good mood. I saw Armando at snack and he was looking at me and i looked at him and smiled and did my little look at him out of the corner of my eye. He used to hate that, even though i know he'd miss it if i never did it. lol im talking to him right now! I have butterflies, its so weird. :breathes: I was talking to Bry before 2nd and he goes i have good news. And i was like "What!?!" because when he tells me he has good news its usually about armando. So he goes "He wants to go back out with you." lol i was blushing like no other, and believe me its not easy to make me blush. :D Anyways enough about my non-existant love life. @.@

I think im gonna bring my cleats tomorow and play soccer after school. Armando said hes gonna stay and shoot around so i think i will too. Woo yeah. lol heres our convo

me: hey!
armando: hello
me: ya know who this is?
armando: yup
me: who?
armando: the girl with the sex hair
armando: right?
me: lmao
me: yep thats me
armando: how are you doing?
me: alright
me: u?
armando: pretty good also
me: well thats good
armando: i know thanks
me: lol
armando: sorry i didn't talk to you today
armando: it's just that i got to get use to it
me: oh its alright
armando: but at least you didn't give me those dirty looks that you use to give me
me: lol those weren't dirty looks
armando: then what were they?
me: haha iono
armando: looking pretty cute today girl!
me: nah
armando: :-)
armando: i think so!
me: lol shpanks, you weren't looking too bad yourself
me: of course you never look bad lol
armando: oh maan!
armando: you're a good liar!
me: haha except im not lying
armando: guess what
me: what?
armando: i shaved my head after school
me: no you didn't
armando: oh yes i did!
me: omg seriously?
armando: no j/k
armando: haha
me: lol told you
me: ya'd still look dead smexy anyways
me: lol
armando: stop lying
me: oh im not
armando: so you didn't stay after school today with melissa?
me: she stayed?
armando: oh yea
me: lol i didn't know that
armando: ooooh
armando: you should stay tomorrow
me: alright maybe i will
armando: i think i'll stay and shoot around
me: alrighty ill bring my stuff then
armando: kae
armando: soo....
armando: do you like how or field is gettting fixed?
armando: our
me: yep its pretty cool
armando: ino
armando: mr. perry is gonna try to keep football off the field so that it could be nice and green for soccer season
me: yeah, because they always tear it up
me: ...stupid footbal
armando: heck yea maan
me: lol
armando: hahahaha
armando: i'll talk to you later
armando: cuz i gotta go
me: alrighty
armando: you want me to call you
me: sure
armando: ok then
armando: take care
me: k you too
armando: alright bye
[insert his sn here] signed off at 5:50:56 PM.

lol. :DDD. I should have told him that those looks weren't meant to be dirty looks. They were actually, 'Im in love with you, but you broke my heart, i can forgive you and give you a second chance, so get over here, apologize and fucking kiss me' looks. Yes, i believe thats what they were. XD Well, i have no practice tonight so i think im gonna go get this stupid book for school and then come home, eat dinner, and wait for Mr. Armando's call. :D

Buh bye...

|oxox| Amanderz

What does it mean to me to live...nothing.
I cant get over this feeling like i mean nothing.
I am nothing.
I wish i was something.
I wish i was beautiful like you...
But im not, im beautiful like me.

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 5 May :: 7.29 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Dont Leave Me || All-American Regects

A tear for everything that i did wrong
I was talking to Jimi last night at practice and i told her about me IMing Armando and his profile and stuff. She has Armando's girlfriend, Julie, in her second period. Jimbo and i were kinda talking in code, sorta, basically we weren't mentioning names because Melissa was there. I love her and everything but i dont feel right talking to her about Armando. So yea, Jimi was talking to Julie yesterday and somehow she know that theres "someone else in his life." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge ; basically she knows about me. haha, good. She should know about me because im not going anywhere. Monique told whomever she was going to tell, to tell Armando that i still like him. XD she told Bryan too, not like he doesn't already know or anything. lol. Hah stupid Erik i first period was all "So did you start a conversation with him yet?" I was like "hah, no." Then he said he was going to lock us in a room together until we talked. XD You do that then. I t might do us some good. lol. Oh my gosh, then in second Erik goes "Hey Armando you know my friend Amanda?" and "Hey Amanda, are you gonna talk to Armando?" Geebus. Then Daniel in his little trying to sound like me voice goes, "Hey Armando, my names Amanda." lol. Stupid, Armando didn't even look at me. >.< WHY? He just sat there and basically laughed at Erik and Daniel. Yep thats me, ignored again. Well, maybe once whoever tells him i still like him, he'll talk to me. I dont know how he hasn't gotten the hint already. >.< I only stare at him everytime i see him. :shrugs: And if, after being told i still like him, he still doesn't talk to me, the only thing there is really left to do is to walk up to him and talk to him myself. :/

Even though you left me by myself, do i want you back? Will you stay or will you walk? Will you let go? Leave me all alone. im giving you one more chance to make things last.

I hate love you.

Haha yesterday Jimi and i wore skirts to school and i was walking with her and Joana to the locker room at lunch and Jimi lifted up the back of my skirt. XD and she showed half the world my ass. haha no i dont think anybody saw, well, except Jimi and Jo. Omg lol good thing Armando wasn't where he usually hangs out because he would have seen my right ass cheek lol. XD lmao i would have been so embarassed and probably would have killed Jimi. lol.

Lmao my hair is so tangled. Jo and i were sitting over by the guys stuff and watching them practice. I was laying on my stomach and she was sitting on my butt. XD then that silly JoBo gave me sex hair. lol what exactly is 'sex hair' you might ask? Well its when you mess up and tangle someones hair as much as possible while scratching their head. lol it actually feels really good except for the end result isn't too fun to untangle. haha then Leslie and i gave Joana sex hair. Woo, it was mighty fun. :D

Ring around the roses then she'll say. Leave me once. Leave me twice. Kiss good-bye that will suffice. When you go away dont look back. Leave me once and ill be fine. leave my twice, ill make you mine. Just one more chance to make it once again.

I failed my spanish test. Yay, go me.

Me: What would you do if i had no head?
Jimi: I'd rape you and pretend i was a guy.
Me: Ya better not Jimbo, i might just like it.
....lmfao that was too funny. XD

I've come to the conclusion that Denise, krysi and Melissa are sheep. Where one goes, the other two follow. For instance, all three of them didn't practice today. Krysi's excuse was "my heart is broken because its cinco de mayo and im not mexican." Bullshit. Melissa's excuse was "my mom said i cant practice in this heat." Bullshit, it wasn't even hot today. Denise didn't have an excuse, she admitted it. But i think she didn't practice because she's a sheep. Therefore, its bullshit. So now when they follow eachother i 'baa' at them like a sheep. Wow, im so nice.

Happy cinco de mayo! Im mexican now because Joana adopted me. Yes now i get to partaaay. lol.

Adios amigos.

<\3 Manderoo

I am asking why did you leave. You left me alone and then you walked out on me. Thinking of days, thinking of ways, thinking of things to you that i should say. I wanna be with you and thats the only way. Dont say good-bye.

I love Jimbo-Limbo :D

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 4 May :: 9.29 pm
:: Mood: eh... :(
:: Music: You Got it Bad || Usher

When he's all you're thinkin' about
Today was bleh, not good, like always.

2nd and 3rd period we had a Hollocaust speaker come and talk to us. That was pretty cool and very interesting. She was in one of the ghettos in Poland during the war. She went into hiding and survived to tell her story.

I sat next to Omar and he kept poking my leg lol so i was pulling his leg hairs. Then he drew a moustache on Landon Donovan. :rawr: For those of you who dont know Landon Donovan is an extremely sexy beast. Im not even kidding. :drools: He's hot, and hes an awesome soccer player, and he wears my number. :D #10 rocks.

Anyways....i got Armando's sn from Bryan. It took me 20 minutes to get up the courage to IM him and just say hi. Hes been idle for like an hour and a half so he never wrote back. >.< Heres whats on his profile:

"hey yo wut up , this is armandizo from mayfair high. i currently play soccer, but once i stop having a gf im gonna start to play soccer and girls. if you're a female and feel like talking to me check me out"

Bleh, once he stops having a gf? What does that supposed to mean? And hes gonna start playing soccer...and girls? Oh wait, hes already done that. Fucking bastard. >.<

His sn is something like Amandizo. In his profile he says his name is "Armandizo. Bleh, Amandizo looks suspiciously close to my name. Why didn't he put the 'r' in his sn? Psh, im probably just being stupid. @.@

I dont know why i love him, but i do. Psh...

I have practice tonight so im going to go get ready. Hmpf.

I hate boys. >.<

<\3 Amanda

You mean nothing everything to me.


A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 3 May :: 7.53 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: none

I cant ignore these feelings anymore. I cant push them deep down inside where no one can see them and pretend that i dont feel what i feel. I cant pretend that i dont like him anymore. I'm through pretendin. I'm done. I was talking to Bryan on Friday and he told me that he was talking to Armando and he said that Armando likes me more than the girl he is going out with now [Julie, that extremely ugly, ghettofied freshman >.<] and he is thinking about breaking up wit her and asking me out again. I believe in giving people second chances. I've been hurt and cheated on way too many times to count. I think this is part of the reason i i dont feel the same way that i used to towards Juan. He's pushed me away. One of the biggest factors is trust. I can not trust him. As much as i want to, and as much as i say i do, i cant. I dont. I just cant. It isn't possible for me, as a human-being with feelings, to trust someone that has hurt me so many times. How do i know im not being screwed over as we speak? If i was, i wouldn't know. He hasn't called me in 3 weeks. Things aren't working anymore. He's pushed me so far away, that ive buried every feeling i've ever felt about him. They're gone, they dont exist. The more i tell people that i dont feel anything towards Armando, the more those feelings grow. They're there and they aren't leaving anytime soon. I cant control who i love. I just follow my heart, blindly, and hope that it leads me to the right person. :shrugs: Bryan got my hopes up by telling me that. >.< I still like Armando so much and im tired of hiding these feelings. I refuse to do it anymore. At snack and at lunch i'll catch him looking at me, but he never talks to me. He doesn't even glance at me in second preiod. I feel like i dont exist. And to top it all off Melissa sits there and flirts with him as if i am not sitting one seat away from them. >.< She knows i still like him, she knows. It pisses me off, and makes me extremely depressed because he ignores me and she flirts with him, while also ignoring me. Wow, i feel loved. :sarcasm: @.@ I guess Monique is gonna talk to someone who knows Armando and they're gonna tell him that i still like him. :shrugs: I guess we'll see how it goes from there.

Long time no update. Last Thursday, i think, i had an entry all ready to update and then my computer froze and i was too pissed off to type it all over so bleh, whatever. Nothing too important last week though. Saturday i had 2 games in Tustin. I was HOT! lol we won out first game and lost our second. Then on Sunday we had another game in San Clemente, where is was even hotter. Not kidding, it was 100 degrees there. We lost, so that sucked. Melissa scored off my assist in the last minute of the game though so that was pretty cool. Eh, nothing else exciting this weekend, or today for that matter. It was hot today, it feels like the middle of summer. Bleh....

Well, i have to go my sister is bitching at me to get off >.< Bye.

<\3 Amanda

I woke up this morning
To face another day
The sun wasn't shining in this world that I had made
I looked to the mirror to see what I'd become
And somehow I knew that part of me was gone
I looked and looked and couldn't find
Something to fill this heart of mine
And all that I could do
Is think of you

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 30 April :: 1.21 am
:: Music: One More Sad Song || All American Regects

one boy, one girl, two hearts, their world.

Man, it is so hot today. :dies: My thermometer says its 100 degrees. And it sure feels like it. Bleh...

Woo! Yesterday guess who won the NASCAR race at Talledega? Jeff Gordon, baby. lol it was an awesome race. There was like 11 cautions, an 11 car wreck and 54 lead changes. On the last three laps Dale Earnhart(sp?) Jr. was in first and Gordon was in second. Jeff passed him and then a caution came out. Jr. re-passed him but you cant change position under caution so he was back in second. They ran the last 3 laps under caution and Jeff won. Woo! Yeah lol i was like dancing around the living room. lol then i called my dad because hes in Las Vegas for Natalies tournament. XD. So yeah, that was my 10 minutes of happiness.

Tomorow its back to our flucked up schedule for testing. >.<

All the perfect words, they seem so wrong, shes gone

Today, bleh, basically sucked. It was hot and eh it just sucked. @.@Okay well i have a load of homework to do so i shall be going <\3 Amanda

Alone with you, alone with me. What can i do, i cannot breathe. My heart is torn, for all to see.She walks once more, out that door. Please stay, dont go away. The hardest thing is letting go of you.

A tear for everything that i did wrong.

:: 2004 30 April :: 1.15 am
:: Mood: tired

Ah yes, hello welcome to the wonderful life of Amanda. And i say wonderful with a huge hint of sarcasm. My life is far from wonderful. This journal is the start of a clean slate that will probably end up looking exactly like my old journal, but thats okay. Goodbye for now.

<\3 Amanda

A tear for everything that i did wrong. | Random Journal