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Chronicles of a Star

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:: 2003 20 October :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: melancholy

Good bye
This will be my final entry in my journal. This journal has run for a glorious 6 months and 6 days but alas everything must come to an end. This journal has helped me through rough times and not so rough times. Its been my emotional crutch for a while but recently people have just been using it against me. They've taken the fun out of writing in my journal. People use things that i've said in my journal against me all the time and so i'm not going to allow that anymore. I dont feel like i can be open in this anymore without being approached about everything i've said the next morning. This isnt the main reason i'm ending this journal though, the real reason is that I just dont want everyone to know how i feel anymore. I dont feel comfortable with everyone knowing whats going on with me. This journal has become like an evil tabloid for me. People will take things i write in the wrong way then exaggerate them and tell other people. Its ridiculous. But I must say that I'm amazed at the trend i've set with the journal world, rock on guys. Just remember me as the journal king. Of course I'll still have my woohu account (I actually have 2 accounts) so i'll still be reading others journals and commenting. I now keep a private journal with my second woohu account that nobody reads, its just so i can vent. Well good bye everyone and keep on journaling!

14 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 19 October :: 10.47 pm
:: Mood: blah

Nothing went right today
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3 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 19 October :: 1.25 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Crazy Town - Butterfly

Alright so today started with Godspell rehearsal at 12 noon. it was cut short today and we ended at 2:30. we did a bunch of blocking today, we are almost finished blocking act 1. gary told us that we need to be off book for what we have so far by wednesday. WHAT? theres no way i can memorize all those lines by then, thats just nuts. so i came home and just sat around for a while because there really wasnt anything to do. so then around 7:45ish Jessica Cleary calls me. tonight was our night to go out. so we decided to go mini golfing. i was so nervous though cuz i wanted things to go well and i want her to like me. so i pick her up and we talk in the car, we never have a problem finding conversation which is great cuz there is never any akward silences. so we went golfing and i totally played the best game of my life. i got 2 hole in ones and just totally owned the game. jess calls me "Tiger" now cuz of Tiger Woods. haha. well after that we drove around for a few mins till we decided to go back to her house and we watched the end of Dumb and Dumber and Orange County. great movies. then after that we talked for a while, then her parents came home and i got to meet them. really nice people. so then i went home. it was a great night, it was just so nice. and i'm really starting to like jessica a lot. shes just so much fun to be around and shes so easy to talk to. hopefully she feels the same way about me and we can actually go out and stuff and not have a repeat of 6th grade. i dont know, we'll see how things progress.

~Shout Outs~

Godspell Cast, The Marlins, Jessica Cleary


:: 2003 18 October :: 2.08 am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: By My Side - Godspell

Today sucked. Just now looking back on the day I realize that it wasnt a good day. I got up this morning and went over to the Center For Group Counceling because I'm doing a commercial for them, so we did a dry run on camera of the commercial with me and this other man. It was alright. then after that i did nothing until improv rehearsal. Heres the story on that. I go to the amphitheatre and wait for a little while and then larry shows up so then we're waiting and then gladys shows up. so its the three of us and now its like 4:10 (everyone is supposed to be there at 4) so i start calling people, i called Jessica Butzer - she was in orlando and forgot to tell me she wasnt coming, then i called jen - no answer, then i called dave - he was also in orlando and forgot to tell me, then i called jen back - she thought since there was no school then there was no improv (even though i said the week before that we have rehearsal EVERY friday unless i say otherwise) and she couldnt come because she was busy doing something else, then larry called corey and he was on his way to pick up ilana, and ilana lives kind of far from the amphitheatre and he wasnt even at her house yet. he probably wouldnt of even gotten there by 4:30. so i called the rehearsal off. i'm fed up with this shit. these people have no dedication to this troupe, i have had a million talks with them and keep telling them to be there every week and if they cant come then they need to tell me before hand so i know. but they just keep pulling this bullshit. they need to shape up or i'm quitting, i'm not gonna waste my time with this, i have SO many other things going on in my life that i dont need to be sitting and waiting for all of them. alright well after that i went home and ate then went to godspell rehearsal. it was fun tonight, we did blocking the whole time. it was just really fun tonight. so then afterwards i went home. i was supposed to go to this party at emily's house but i just didnt feel like seeing those people tonight, so i just stayed in and did i wasnt in the greatest mood. i'm just falling into a rut because i dont have a social life anymore. all my life consists of is theatre - in school and out of school. i dont ever do anything else. and on the weekends, when i have free time at night the people i hang out with are drama people, not that i dont love them but i see them EVERY day. i want to hang out with some people that i dont see everyday, some new faces, people that arent involved in all the drama shit. whatever, maybe tomorrow will be better. rehearsal from 12-4.

~Shout Outs~

Larry, Gladys, Cast of Godspell


:: 2003 17 October :: 12.58 am
:: Mood: insecure
:: Music: Leaning On A Lampost - Me & My Girl

alright today was long and tiring. drama 2 this morning i did more improv, it was SO much fun this morning. i did a lot of fun games with them and they did really well with them too. i love my drama 2 people. alright in drama 1 not much happened. Musical theatre again not much happened. then i went home for senior priv and then came back to learn the dance for the audition. We all got to meet Rocky Duvall. He is AWESOME! he's a great choreographer so far and is really funny and just all around cool. we learned 2 combinations, an easy regular dance combo and a tap combo (which reminded me i desperately need new tap shoes) they both werent hard at all. so after that i went home and then came back for MT rehearsal, i came at 7 instead of 6:30 cuz i wasnt trying out for You Cant Stop The Beat so hasko said they'd be done at 7, they didnt finish until around 7:45. so i just hung out there and watched and did nothing. well after that we finished choreographing fame, its done. afterwards i came home and did nothing, UGH. i'm insecure about a girl right now. and i hate being insecure...its totally not my style...

~Shout Outs~

Drama 2 kids, Rocky Duvall, Chris Burgos, Jessica Cleary, Joey Venck

3 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 15 October :: 10.10 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: I'd Give It All For You - Songs For A New World

Alright here goes...THIS DAY WAS MAD HECTIC!! it started with officer meeting this morning....then drama 5 where we ran the variety show with all the smaller parts and acts in it. it was really fun. then i skipped gov't because charissa and I needed to work on our duet for the show, so all during 4th hour we worked on "I'd Give It All For You" from Songs For A New World. By the end of class it sounded HOT! we worked out all the harmonies and they sound great and its just gonna be a kick ass number. but i'm mad that i missed gov't cuz we watched the west wing and it was an episode that i havent seen. alright then in musical theatre hasko was lecturing about the variety show and gladys told her to be more considerate to peoples schedules and not freak out and hasko freaked out and started crying. so then we worked on invidual stuff and i was working on my duet with jen and she was being all weird and kept saying she didnt want to do the song anymore and wouldnt tell me why, whatever i dont understand her anymore. alright so then in 6th hour my lack of sleep caught up with me so i kept dozing off while the rest of the class was reading something. then after school we had variety show rehearsal. same stuff as usual. then at 5 i had my voice lesson, we decided I'm singing "Any Dream Will Do" for my audition song, lol, i've sung that song TOO many times but thats about all i have to sing cuz locker couldnt find any songs for me. alright then i had about 10 mins before i needed to go to rehearsal so i got a bite to eat and went. tonight we sang for like an hour and a half and then we blocked for an hour. it was a good rehearsal, just tiring. Alright now i will summarize the rest of my week and weekend for everyone. tomorrow i teach drama 2 improv again, learn audition dance after school then MT rehearsal. friday i have a meeting with the company i'm doing the promotional video for at 1pm then improv at 4pm then godspell at 6:30. Saturday is godspell from 12-4 and then later that night I might be going on a date with....Jessica Cleary....woooo! i'm excited about that, i asked her on a date the other night and she said yes, so i cant wait. i love her, shes just so great! alright well then sunday is a day free...yay....goodnight

~Shout Outs~

Charissa, Dave, Alex Wolfgang, Gladys, Mr. Locker, Godspell Cast, Jessica

3 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 14 October :: 11.06 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Turn Back, O Man - Godspell

Ok today started into drama 2 when i taught the class improv! it was mad fun. it was a lot different from instructing my improv troupe, well obviously cuz there were more people and they're less experienced, but i handled them quite well i think. it was really fun though, i get to continue to teach next class. hasko was impressed with me. ok in drama 1 the kids did monologues while i helped them analyze them. I like all the kids in that class, they are so young and fresh. well in musical theatre the replacement music teacher came in for the first time - the forever plaid guy. we sang through our big numbers and he helped us. then during lunch i started choreographing "Ya Got Trouble" with a bunch of people. its going pretty well, since i have everything choreographed and its easy people arent annoying about it they actually listen, so hurray. alright then i went home for senior priv and my dad made me go to my moms school to get this check signed so it could be cashed so i walked into her classroom while all her little kids were there (she teaches 5th grade) they were all studying me, hahah. it was funny. well then i went back for rehearsal. rehearsal was FUN today. i had a blast, its easy since i know my character and all my lines, i dont have much work to do, it lets me concentrate more on godspell which i need to memorize my lines for. ok speaking of godspell, i went to rehearsal tonight at 6:30 and we sang for like an hour and a half. i sang my solo in Turn Back, O Man for the first time and everyone was like WOW HE'S GOOD! they were all so impressed with how i sounded. i rock. well then we did blocking for an hour...FINALLY! i was so excited to finally get to do acting. alright so then i came home and watched the Marlins vs. Cubs game. yeah i know i dont usually watch sports but i get involved when my home team is up for something. i watched the series in 97' when the Marlins won. and the marlins won tonight 8-3!! 8 runs in one inning!! MARLINS ROCK! ahhh ok so now i'm talking to jessica cleary. i always announce that i'm talking to her...dont know why. i usually am talking to her when i update and she always makes me happy. so go her. well tomorrow is gonna be a LONG ass day. its jumping from school to rehearsal to voice lesson to another rehearsal. ugh.

~Shout Outs~

Drama 2, Drama 1, Arthur the voice teacher, Burgos, Gladys, Alex Wolfgang, Steph Co, Gisbert, Jessica Cleary, The Marlins

1 Performance | Perform

:: 2003 14 October :: 6.42 am

People have you loved?: One
People have you kissed?: 22
Commandments have you broken?: most of them
Places have you lived in:(for over 3 months) 3
Countries have you been to?: 5
Languages can you speak fluently?: one
People are you talking to right now?: none (its 6:30AM)
Times have you been in a car today?: none yet
Different kinds of meat have you eaten?: ALL
Different kinds of liquor have you tasted?: i've tasted wine, rum, and beer
Jobs you have held?: lol i dont work
Years of school have you attended?: 11
Shows have you been to this month?: too many
Friends would you call "close"?: none anymore

4 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 13 October :: 9.06 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Tear Jerk - I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

Happy Six Month Anniversay to my Journal!
Yep today is my 6 month anniversary of my journal! WOOHOOOOO!!! well today was a decent day, nothing spectacular. drama this morning was dedicated to running lines for the variety show. i know all my lines. oh and i gave up the danielle vanacker thing. just not interested anymore. then in gov't we took a test and then i took a nap. in musical theatre, steph bruno came in. YAY!! we showed her YCSTB and Fame. she liked them, especially my faces at the beginning of YCSTB. then jen and I showed her tear jerk, she loved it. she thinks we both sound great in it. i really think that song is gonna rock at districts, it is really suited for both of our voices and is totally in our ranges. ok well then in english mrs. backes was back (and so was i) after a week of having the flu. well we reviewed and took a test. i actually think i did well on it, i thought it was pretty damn easy even though i heard it was hard. i forgot how much fun that class is though. so then after school we had variety show rehearsal. it was really fun. the three couples in the show that kiss had a kissing contest to see who had the best onstage kiss. i think charissa and I kicked ass at ours. ok so after rehearsal i went and ran some errands and suddenly i get a call on my cell. it was some random girl asking for barett. i was like uhh sorry this is justin braun, shes like oh sorry bye. she sounded like a teenager. well then i came home and did next to nothing. I watched that show Newlyweds: Jessica & Nick. lol it's a dumb show. I dont understand why its even a show. Nick is a moron and jessica is a brat, a cute brat though. ok well then i'm watching Unsolved Mysteries and I get a call from that same girl from earlier, so i'm like hello? and she is like who is this and i'm like its justin! and shes like oh man i keep calling you and i'm like well whats your name? her name is mia and everytime she tries to call barett, she calls me. we chatted for a few mins and now we are going to go out on a date on saturday. go figure. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING, lol had to spice that up a bit. we did chat for a little bit and i'm sure i'll talk to her again. well now i'm here and theres not much left to say. tomorrow i teach improv in Drama 2, i'm excited. i think i'm starting to lose interest in brielle, i'm getting a little bored in this task. i'm moving on to bigger and better things.

~Shout Outs~

"On With The Show" Principles, Primato, Ian, Steph Bruno, Mia, Jessica Simpson, Holly, my Journal


:: 2003 13 October :: 5.49 pm

How good of an actor is Justin Braun


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:: 2003 12 October :: 8.48 pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: The Black Pearl - Pirates of the Carribean

Ok guys I have turned my woohu account into a PLUS ACCOUNT!! look at the bottom of the page where it says User Stats, it should say Latest Donation: JB1863 unless someone has donated after me. But today I donated $5 to woohu to get a plus account. I have now made it so you can not post a comment anonymously. that will get rid of those pesky morons. i can also now post polls! alright well today wasnt great. I saw Lost in Translation today. I can't decide if i liked it or not. I didnt hate it but I didnt love it. It was very artsy. It just didnt do much for me. well after that i came home had a long college discusion with my parents and then applied to Cal State Los Angeles. It was a long and obnoxious process. we'll see how that goes. ok then i did my weekly cleaning job to make some cash. ooohhhh man. i'm still in a weird mood from yesterday's party. oh everyone look at yesterdays entry, andy (the owner of woohu) commented in my journal. WOOHOOO!! haha. its cuz i gave him $5. i'm talking to jessica cleary right now, she makes me happy. i dont have much to say in this entry, today was uneventful. This week is MAD hectic, i dont have a free second any day this week. sucks.

~Shout Outs~

The Cast of Lost in Translation, Andy, Jessica Cleary

3 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 12 October :: 12.52 am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: The Tetris Theme

*sorrowful sigh* thats the only way that this day can be described as. i woke up at 2:30 and while i was eating breakfast at my desk i spilled orange juice all over my desk, mouse, and keyboard and had to throw my keyboard out. then i nothing happened until i went to see the Odd Couple at Spanish River. i was very impressed with them, the show was very good. Best River show i've ever seen. it had some problems but overall it was good. the drive to and from the show with jen wasnt pleasant. i really didnt want to be spending that time with her because she'd been a bitch to me for the past 2 days and i just didnt care to be with her and so i was quiet and she kept bothering me about it. well after that i went to vanessa's birthday party. yeah it wasnt the most pleasant place. everyone who hates me was there, lots of alumni. the beginning was ok, got to see stephanie bruno, i miss her. they hired a stripper and he came. joel and I had a conversation with him outside before he went in. it was ridiculous to watch. well he left and after him and the cake most people left too so it was just a smaller group of people, half of which i hate so i didnt want to be there anymore but i stayed as a favor to joey venck. holly was there but it was weird being around her and that same old group of people, brought back emotions, bad ones. i have weird jealousy issues with her and have a hard time being around her and other people. and so that started to put me in a bad mood. things got so obnoxious that at one point i walked out side and called danielle so she could keep me company. thanks a lot danielle. so then i wanted to say goodbye to holly so i took her outside to have my last few minutes with her before she leaves tomorrow morning. but shes all like i cant stay out here chad will get mad. it made me a little upset because i havent seen her in forever and wont see her again for a month and he sees her all the time and he's gonna get mad because i'm talking to her for a few mins outside alone. FUCK HIM!! i wish he would die. i never say that about people but i really mean it this time, thats how strong my hatred for him is. and it sucked cuz i didnt reallly get to say a good goodbye to holly, it was like 5 mins outside with her saying i cant stay out here cuz of chad. so then joey and i left. after i dropped him off i felt like crying, i almost pulled the car over to do it but i refrained. i pulled my car into the driveway and just put my head down on the steering wheel. i dunno why i got so emotional, i guess i just got overwhelmed with old feelings. anytime i saw any guy flirt or touch holly tonight i just got really jealous. i still think of her as mine. ugh i'm just in a shitty mood right now.

~Shout Outs~

fuck everyone

10 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 11 October :: 1.09 am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Century Plant - Camp

well today started out on a good foot. drama 2 this morning was fun. brielle went out of her way to say hi to me. the fact of the matter is that she needs me, i am her ticket to getting an 'A' in drama so i have a power over her. And i need her to accomplish my goal of getting with someone out of my league and dating someone thats not my type. so therefore we need each other. but things with her are moving along nicely, she brought me up to danielle today without danielle having to start the convo. score. also hasko is letting me teach the class all next week, i'm gonna teach them improv. I'm excited. alright well in drama 1 i had to do my 2 district monologues (Bash and Snoopy) When i did my bash one and i said the part where i'm describing me and this other guy hooking up everyone in the class was like ew what! and they all started laughing, they arent mature enough for things like that. they seemed to like the Red baron one though. I just need to work on my anunciation with the french accent. so then in MT we ran a few numbers and then got to work on individual stuff. me and jen's duet is really good, we're doing it for districts and i think we're gonna rock. so then after that holly came to visit but hasko wouldnt let us stay to see her so i went home. then before improv i went and visited holly for a few, then picked up ilana and was late for improv. improv today was ehh. it started off slow and everyone was kind of not on today but at the end it turned around and larry did this hilarious carnival man character and then gladys and corey did this HILARIOUS scene. so in the end it was good. after that i went to Godspell rehearsal and the director tells me that we're blocking. I was sooo excited! but then half the cast didnt show up so he sent us all home. damn. so i went home and waited for holly to be done with dinner and then went out with her and had an AMAZING evening. wow i miss her so much, it was SO nice to just spend an evening alone with her. ahhh. ok well now i'm home and damn exhausted. rehearsal tomorrow is canceled so i can sleep in. yay. anyone want to buy a bike? its in great shape, i'm selling it on ebay but i'll sell it to any of you and you wont have to pay S&H. here is the ebay listing for it. Click here

~Shout Outs~

Brielle, Burgos, Blum, Danielle, Gladys, Rachel, Steph Co, Nicole, Holly, Vanessa (Happy Birthday)

5 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 9 October :: 10.42 pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: None

Today started in drama as everyday does. We blocked and ran the variety show all class. It was maaaaaad fun though. We were crazy, hasko had to watch scenes so it was just the cast doing it. then in gov't i slept while everyone reviewed and watched West Wing - i had already seen that episode. ok then in MT we talked first about how people are scared of mrs. hasko. i just laughed as everyone nervously smiled. i'm totally not afraid of hasko. then after that we talked about me and my girl and hasko told us all her casting policies. then since mrs. backes wasnt there again i didnt go to 6th hour, instead i went home and went to sleep from 2 until 5. It was niiiiiiice. i love sleeping. wow my day was so uneventful, this is gonna be a mad short entry. well after i woke up i went to MT rehearsal. i got there like 5 or 10 mins early and i went into the hall with burgos and kayla and then we were told that the warm up was starting so we walk back in and lance is there blocking us from coming in and accused us of being late and i was like nooo we weren't late we've just been in the hall and he's like nope sorry. then direnzo is like you're late and i was like no i was not late!! i got there before she did! i watched her walk in and now shes accusing me of being late!? then shes like well you werent in here when the warm up started so you're late, so lance wrote our names on a sheet of paper. oooh so scary, not a piece of paper. chris was freaking out though, he's so scared of hasko, he thinks she's gonna kill him. really i dont give a shit because i was there and its not like we missed anything. whatever it was just annoying. ok well that was about it. nothing else. tomorrow is busy, school, improv, rehearsal, HOLLY! its also vanessa's birthday. danielle also tells me that brielle doesnt like me and wouldnt date me. i just laughed, minor set back. I'm not gonna give up though because i think i can get her to like me. we'll see what happens tomorrow. brielle knows i want her. oh well.

~Shout Outs~

The Cast of "On With The Show", Danielle, Burgos, Corey, Larry, Kayla

2 Performances | Perform

:: 2003 8 October :: 9.49 pm
:: Mood: upbeat
:: Music: The Impossible Dream - Man of La Mancha

Today, wow. hectic. it started with the officer meeting where hasko wanted to cancel the halloween party because she says we all hate each other and dont get alone. its half true, we are all assholes to each other but we dont all hate each other. whatever, i hope she doesnt cancel the party. then hasko pulled me into her office and told me she read my journal and read all the stuff i've said about her. it was rather akward. i tried to explain to her that i was just frustrated with her and that i do truly like and respect her but she didnt seem to believe me. she got mad that i called her a tyrant and other things, i dont remember what i wrote. well it was just me blowing off steam, i mean she yells at me and calls me egotistical to blow off steam so why cant i do the same? whatever, she asked me not to mention her in my journal anymore. well i wont blow off steam in here anymore about her. ok after that was drama 2. at the beginning of class i started to feel kind of sick, dont know why very random, probably from lack of sleep, it had just caught up with me. so for like 45 mins i felt like shit but then brille, sam, and I did our scene and rocked. although sam didnt let me do my best line of the scene!!! but everyone liked it and even hasko did. Yeah i take credit for the success of the scene. hasko had told brielle that she didnt like the scene and brielle freaked out that she wasnt gonna get an 'A' so i had to reassure her that it would do well. but i'm very proud of them, they did well. then in drama 1 steph co came in and we hung out in the music library and talked all period. it was SO much fun. i love steph co, she always brightens up my day. in MT we got to work on individual crap. OH! Funny story from last night that i forgot about. I was talking to jessica cleary online and i was like oh we should have become friends sooner and shes like we were friends sooner, we went out in 6th grade! and i was like yeah i remember that but we never broke up so technically we're still going out. and shes like yeah! i tell people about that sometimes and i'm like really!? thats a running joke with my friends and I! it was funny that we both talk about how we went out in 6th grade. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO OUT NOW!!! (i didnt say that but would have liked to) ok well after MT i went home slept for 20 mins then went to "On With The Show" rehearsal. we blocked the beginning of act 2. i dont feel like this show is getting anywhere, it just feels weird. well after that i had my voice lesson but by then my throat hurt, ouch. so i sounded really strained. so after the lesson i went home at real fast and then went to godspell rehearsal. tonight was fun! i got to sit down tonight instead of always standing! phew. we recorded ourselves singing so we could memorize our parts and we sound really good. And i started to make friends with people tonight. Gisbert the german guy is SO COOL! i love him. and his voice is so amazing! i started talking to some of the girls in the cast and one girl was like hey were you in "Funny Girl"? and i'm like yeah i was eddie and shes like YEAH!! i knew it!! You were sooo good in that!! i love it when people recognize me from past shows. well all we did was sing and record tonight but it was fun, my throat stopped hurting cuz i rested it between voice lessons and rehearsal so i was ok. well thats all. tomorrow is another day. holly comes home friday. HOW EXCITED AM I?!?!!?

~Shout Outs~

Brielle, Sam, Danielle, JT, Chris Burgos, Steph Co, Kayla, Gladys, Joey Venck, Gisbert, Gary, Gianna, Angela

3 Performances | Perform | Random Journal